Psych-out.
So... I'm temporarily employed.
I realise this is a very lazy, self centered post and I am most certainly not proud of myself for thinking the thoughts that are keeping me up all night.
I don't want to do this.
The temp agency called me yesterday after another one of thier clients highly recommended me for future work. They had a position available from a very tough client who is very aggressive and churns through staff like it's no-ones business. The employeer has had it with the temp agent for sending staff he deems unsuitable for work... and after a long phonecall with the temp agent she convinced him to give them one last try.
That one last try is me.
The agent told me "I really can't stress how important it is you don't make any mistakes or get on his bad side because part of the deal of them taking you was that if you were no good.. I personally would have to come out and do the job. Acting purely on instinct and catering to my deire to feel wanted/depended on I took the roll that was to last till friday next week with the chance of days off in between depending on the workload they have.
After I got off the phone and started to think about it... I started to psych myself out.
I know that I make simple mistakes, my mind races ahead of me at times and I am very results driven and competitive to do everything better than everyone else... in the past this has been an issue as I make minor detail mistakes. This in mind lead me to think about the weight of responsibility on me here... If I screw up, I'll cost these guys a long term client which will in turn cost me any future work with the agentcy (they have a policy not to re-employ anyone who costs them work). I don't handle aggression in the workplace very well at this current time don't feel I can emotionally handle yelling or being treated poorly and it will end up making me more likely to fuck up.
To add insult to injury.
The 7 (potentially not full shift) days of employement will rake me in about $600 after tax at best... $40 more than what I would get from the government for NOT WORKING that two weeks. If I lose even one day of those 7 days (which agent warned me will happen if there isnt much work) then I will be losing money for doing the job. Oh I also wont be paid till the end of the job which means I wont have any cash till right before furdu.
Ontop of that. not being around for the week leaves Oz (and thankfully Kiba/foxy for offering to help out) with 40 tails, 60 conbooks and 60 conbags to make, aswell as all the final preperations for furdu... which is totally unfair on him considering it's 3 weeks till launch.
...
I've really convinced myself against and stressed out of this job before I've even started it -..-
Wish me luck today guys.
I realise this is a very lazy, self centered post and I am most certainly not proud of myself for thinking the thoughts that are keeping me up all night.
I don't want to do this.
The temp agency called me yesterday after another one of thier clients highly recommended me for future work. They had a position available from a very tough client who is very aggressive and churns through staff like it's no-ones business. The employeer has had it with the temp agent for sending staff he deems unsuitable for work... and after a long phonecall with the temp agent she convinced him to give them one last try.
That one last try is me.
The agent told me "I really can't stress how important it is you don't make any mistakes or get on his bad side because part of the deal of them taking you was that if you were no good.. I personally would have to come out and do the job. Acting purely on instinct and catering to my deire to feel wanted/depended on I took the roll that was to last till friday next week with the chance of days off in between depending on the workload they have.
After I got off the phone and started to think about it... I started to psych myself out.
I know that I make simple mistakes, my mind races ahead of me at times and I am very results driven and competitive to do everything better than everyone else... in the past this has been an issue as I make minor detail mistakes. This in mind lead me to think about the weight of responsibility on me here... If I screw up, I'll cost these guys a long term client which will in turn cost me any future work with the agentcy (they have a policy not to re-employ anyone who costs them work). I don't handle aggression in the workplace very well at this current time don't feel I can emotionally handle yelling or being treated poorly and it will end up making me more likely to fuck up.
To add insult to injury.
The 7 (potentially not full shift) days of employement will rake me in about $600 after tax at best... $40 more than what I would get from the government for NOT WORKING that two weeks. If I lose even one day of those 7 days (which agent warned me will happen if there isnt much work) then I will be losing money for doing the job. Oh I also wont be paid till the end of the job which means I wont have any cash till right before furdu.
Ontop of that. not being around for the week leaves Oz (and thankfully Kiba/foxy for offering to help out) with 40 tails, 60 conbooks and 60 conbags to make, aswell as all the final preperations for furdu... which is totally unfair on him considering it's 3 weeks till launch.
...
I've really convinced myself against and stressed out of this job before I've even started it -..-
Wish me luck today guys.