moving on
Im going through a weird time in my life right now... but once I am starting to feel content with the way things are going. Im dating now, which is really exciting. The more days that go by the more I am ok with me and Brian not being together. I still miss LA like WHOA! but I can always visit again some day. I miss Brian but no in "i want to be with him" way. I am starting to get more mad, than sad. He really really hurt me and broke my heart, yet I kept holding on, wanting him back. how crazy was I? If he didnt love me for me, then why the hell did I keep trying to be with him. I still love and care for him, but honestly I dont know if we could ever be together again, even if he wanted to. I just dont know. Alot of hurt has been caused and I dont know if I could ever go back on that. I miss his family alot too... unfortunately I have feeling I wont be speaking to him or his family for a really long time. There is alot I wish I could get off my chest to him about how he hurt me, but honestly i think he knows, and it doesnt really phase him. I mean it took him less than a month to move on from our 4 year relationship. Why bother starting shit anyway. I am just happy and thankful we ended on a good note, and we can try to be friends. I mean there is no bad blood. jus thurt feelings right now. so I need to get over that. But like I said I am moving on and dating, and its really fun! Its nice to know that even white guys find me attractive, and they are super cute! hahaha! I love boys!
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