And all Hell was bound to break loose
Would you like to know how long the meeting lasted this morning?
No?
Oh well, you're going to hear it anyway. Nearly two hours. Yep, that's right, nearly two hours for what should have been a twenty minute meeting. And why, might you ask.
Ok, I know you haven't asked, but I'm imagining you would if you were here and had nothing better to do.
Because they decided to spray the activity zone halls with a neutralizing agent for the smoke, a reportedly toxic agent, and were only telling us *as* it was happening. And they figured the non-air-tight door between these halls and our living quarters would keep the chemical from our rooms. None of us were happy about it, four of the ladies flipped out. They started a fight in the middle of the meeting, except that it was rather one sided as C seems incapable of stepping up when challenged. He has no clue NO CLUE that every time he backs off and back peddles and cowers when they get angry and challenge him he makes it more likely that they will HATE him and challenge him again. They mentioned quitting.
They called him a liar.
He stuttered. It was a massacre.
They walked out.
Four of us stayed, four left. I stayed though I agree with those who left. I don't agree with their methods. This is not Europe, it's not America, or Canada, or Australia. If we want things done we need to go about it their way. Our way is not only not best, but her it's ineffective. I've told them this many times, and did again when they stated this at the meeting. J said she knew but it made her feel better. I imagine that at the rate they're going they may not have to quit.
So, gloomy morning and only pilates for my work out. Then to work and a meeting that lasts four times longer than it's supposed to. The head teacher walking out. Representing all of us and leaving. The angry words, the tone that couldn't even be called civil. And while we're all there I'm watching a sorceress spider crawl up a web between two trees outside the window, I'm looking at the gray clouds and thinking it's going to rain. I'm looking at their body language. J with legs crossed and arm in front of her, unreceiving and defensive. She felt she was retaliating to an act of aggression. Lt with legs crossed and arms folded, she wasn't interested in listening. From S's tone behind me I can almost swear she mirrord Lt's body position. Me with legs crossed, I didn't want to be there, trying desperately to not lean my feet or body toward J because that would be a subconsious physical support of her, one that the other people in the room would read, and I can't afford to be sided with the dissenters in *that* manner. I agreed with them, but definately not with their methods, not like that. And I'm pretty confrontational I think. I usually have a powerful and blunt personality unless I've been caught off guard. Then I'm nicer than I'd normally be, bs an answer, and take off. I'm pretty predicable in that manner. Anyway, they knew I supported them because later I was asked by L why I didn't leave with them. I couldn't. I just couldn't. Then there was D and I just knew she had her arms crossed and her cheeks sucked in, that oh-so-distinct look of distaste, and then N who had her legs crossed and her hand on her face and her shoulders hunched and her head turned away. She screamed discomfort, dissastisfaction with the whole goings-on. She didn't want to be here, she didn't wnat to hear it, it hurt her, disturbed her to stay. C with his legs crossed, he wasn't any more interested in listening than we were, and shoulders hunched, he was under attack and didn't know at all what to do. He was talking in circles when he did talk, didn't understand that DOESN'T placate american women, it agrivates them. Don't try and explain an answer when you were given a yes or no question. This is what I was thinking about. Spiders, the stupid things won't die, and clouds, and body language. And then, then I thought about culture.
While thinking about their culture I realized something. The business world in Korea basically acts as a fudal system. Seriously. There are the lords and knights of various levels, there are the tradesmen, and then there are, essentially, the surfs. Now, the lords have to please their lords, and those have to please the king (we'll call those the big CEOs). The lords and the knights nearly own the surfs, nearly, not quite, but almost. The surfs must do what their told, they can't really uprise or their livelyhood will be taken from them. They have their own homes and lands and families but they are used and mistreated without any representation. This is the way and it's expected. This is the korean business relationship.
Here's the problem, the west abandoned the fudal system some 4 hundred years ago. We don't even really have a system by which we can comprehend of their system. Then, they expect us to go by their system, they don't understand that we expect much more. We expect power plays, we expect acknowledgement of our own power, and a bit of force to be exerted in our yeilding to theirs. We live like we're at war, no like we're owned. This creates MASSIVE cultural conflicts. I would say 80-90% of what's going on here is cultural conflict.
After the others left D and I talked a good bit to C. I tried to explain to C why the other women were angry. Tried to explain the cultural differences, what they wanted, what they expected, why they/we aren't happy. D tried also. I tried to urge him to bring in a mediator. Said they might really loose half of their teachers if they didn't. I don't know what he thought of this. His body language didn't change the entire time. I really beleive this is what's neccessary- a mediator who understands both korean and western culture and who is from higher in woongjin or from an angency hired by them. Otherwise I cannot personally see a resolve to this conflict, and that does worry me. Again, I have no idea if C heard me, even less of an idea of whether or not he understood me. At one point N said my language was so complex she didn't even understand me. That was frustrating, to have to lower my language level so people knew what I was saying. It's not like I try to talk like that, it just comes out.
Then of course K talked. Basically restated what a bunch of others said, but tried to make it like she was saying it better, or knew it better, or thought it better. Kept saying she understands the koreans. No she doesn't. She hasn't bene korean since she was five. She can't speak the language. She doesn't understand them. She was kissing ass so she could take J's head-teacher position. She had some good ideas, as N pointed out, but she didn't know when to shut up. I agree with L that K might just stab us all in the back in her attempt to identify with and be included with the koreans.
Then D warned C that if he didn't do it first than J might email someone higher up than him with her complaints. Well, he doesn't have to worry about *that* anymore because just an hour or so after the meeting she CCed us with the letter she wrote to the higher-up. I'm just not sure if, in korean culture, that makes C look bad, or J.
I bought a face mask today for the chemicals. C said we weren't supposed to be in those halls all weekend, later E said it was just fine and I didn't need the mask. Those two really need to colaborate their stories because they're always telling us different stuff. We never know who to listen to.
But, I did get E to take me to the doctor.
And, you might want to stop reading here if you don't want tmi or want to have any respect for me later.
I hadn't had a good poop in two, that's right, weeks. The few poops I had were small and mostly aided by a lovely herbal laxitive called Senocot. I was getting extremely tired of being bloated and as having my cycle didn't fix the problem I decided to ask for medical help. The doctor pushed on my stomach, and I've finally learned that Korean physicians only respond when you make a big deal of your pain. Then I got to get xrays. He told me my entire low intestine was filled with feces. Like I didn't know that. He prescribed a medicine and I spent the next fifteen minutes giggling like Kermit the Frog. Anyway, this stuff is prescriptive and powerful. The doctor wasn't joking about that. I beleive it is liquifying everything in my intestines and flushing it out. I'm hopoing this whole process is done and over with by monday afternoon. I'm also incredibly happy to just be pooping. You always feel better when the toxins are flushed from your body. Plus, hopefully the bloating will go down. Oh, and you should have seen the look on everyone's faces when the doctor suggested drinking water and I said I did, and eating fiber, and I said I did, and exercizing and I said I did. And then he asked me how much I exercized and I told him and everyone in the room just stopped for a second, the nurse, the doctor, and E. I don't think they comprehended that I actually exercize that much. There's an obvious missconception in Korea that westerners are bigger because they're lazy and fat. The doctor said keep working out like that. I resisted snorting. Like I intend to stop. So, then there were the x-rays, and I got to talk to E a little about some of the scars, and I figured out why my right wrist has been hurting. I was in a car accident about a year ago. That is: a car hit me while I was on my bike, or we crashed together, either way, i hurt my wrist pretty bad, though didn't break it. That's probably what the pain is from. And...now I have to poop like every 20 minutes but it is sooo worth it.
That's about all. I mailed my ballet today. I hope it's not late.
Later people!
Eat lots of fiber!
No?
Oh well, you're going to hear it anyway. Nearly two hours. Yep, that's right, nearly two hours for what should have been a twenty minute meeting. And why, might you ask.
Ok, I know you haven't asked, but I'm imagining you would if you were here and had nothing better to do.
Because they decided to spray the activity zone halls with a neutralizing agent for the smoke, a reportedly toxic agent, and were only telling us *as* it was happening. And they figured the non-air-tight door between these halls and our living quarters would keep the chemical from our rooms. None of us were happy about it, four of the ladies flipped out. They started a fight in the middle of the meeting, except that it was rather one sided as C seems incapable of stepping up when challenged. He has no clue NO CLUE that every time he backs off and back peddles and cowers when they get angry and challenge him he makes it more likely that they will HATE him and challenge him again. They mentioned quitting.
They called him a liar.
He stuttered. It was a massacre.
They walked out.
Four of us stayed, four left. I stayed though I agree with those who left. I don't agree with their methods. This is not Europe, it's not America, or Canada, or Australia. If we want things done we need to go about it their way. Our way is not only not best, but her it's ineffective. I've told them this many times, and did again when they stated this at the meeting. J said she knew but it made her feel better. I imagine that at the rate they're going they may not have to quit.
So, gloomy morning and only pilates for my work out. Then to work and a meeting that lasts four times longer than it's supposed to. The head teacher walking out. Representing all of us and leaving. The angry words, the tone that couldn't even be called civil. And while we're all there I'm watching a sorceress spider crawl up a web between two trees outside the window, I'm looking at the gray clouds and thinking it's going to rain. I'm looking at their body language. J with legs crossed and arm in front of her, unreceiving and defensive. She felt she was retaliating to an act of aggression. Lt with legs crossed and arms folded, she wasn't interested in listening. From S's tone behind me I can almost swear she mirrord Lt's body position. Me with legs crossed, I didn't want to be there, trying desperately to not lean my feet or body toward J because that would be a subconsious physical support of her, one that the other people in the room would read, and I can't afford to be sided with the dissenters in *that* manner. I agreed with them, but definately not with their methods, not like that. And I'm pretty confrontational I think. I usually have a powerful and blunt personality unless I've been caught off guard. Then I'm nicer than I'd normally be, bs an answer, and take off. I'm pretty predicable in that manner. Anyway, they knew I supported them because later I was asked by L why I didn't leave with them. I couldn't. I just couldn't. Then there was D and I just knew she had her arms crossed and her cheeks sucked in, that oh-so-distinct look of distaste, and then N who had her legs crossed and her hand on her face and her shoulders hunched and her head turned away. She screamed discomfort, dissastisfaction with the whole goings-on. She didn't want to be here, she didn't wnat to hear it, it hurt her, disturbed her to stay. C with his legs crossed, he wasn't any more interested in listening than we were, and shoulders hunched, he was under attack and didn't know at all what to do. He was talking in circles when he did talk, didn't understand that DOESN'T placate american women, it agrivates them. Don't try and explain an answer when you were given a yes or no question. This is what I was thinking about. Spiders, the stupid things won't die, and clouds, and body language. And then, then I thought about culture.
While thinking about their culture I realized something. The business world in Korea basically acts as a fudal system. Seriously. There are the lords and knights of various levels, there are the tradesmen, and then there are, essentially, the surfs. Now, the lords have to please their lords, and those have to please the king (we'll call those the big CEOs). The lords and the knights nearly own the surfs, nearly, not quite, but almost. The surfs must do what their told, they can't really uprise or their livelyhood will be taken from them. They have their own homes and lands and families but they are used and mistreated without any representation. This is the way and it's expected. This is the korean business relationship.
Here's the problem, the west abandoned the fudal system some 4 hundred years ago. We don't even really have a system by which we can comprehend of their system. Then, they expect us to go by their system, they don't understand that we expect much more. We expect power plays, we expect acknowledgement of our own power, and a bit of force to be exerted in our yeilding to theirs. We live like we're at war, no like we're owned. This creates MASSIVE cultural conflicts. I would say 80-90% of what's going on here is cultural conflict.
After the others left D and I talked a good bit to C. I tried to explain to C why the other women were angry. Tried to explain the cultural differences, what they wanted, what they expected, why they/we aren't happy. D tried also. I tried to urge him to bring in a mediator. Said they might really loose half of their teachers if they didn't. I don't know what he thought of this. His body language didn't change the entire time. I really beleive this is what's neccessary- a mediator who understands both korean and western culture and who is from higher in woongjin or from an angency hired by them. Otherwise I cannot personally see a resolve to this conflict, and that does worry me. Again, I have no idea if C heard me, even less of an idea of whether or not he understood me. At one point N said my language was so complex she didn't even understand me. That was frustrating, to have to lower my language level so people knew what I was saying. It's not like I try to talk like that, it just comes out.
Then of course K talked. Basically restated what a bunch of others said, but tried to make it like she was saying it better, or knew it better, or thought it better. Kept saying she understands the koreans. No she doesn't. She hasn't bene korean since she was five. She can't speak the language. She doesn't understand them. She was kissing ass so she could take J's head-teacher position. She had some good ideas, as N pointed out, but she didn't know when to shut up. I agree with L that K might just stab us all in the back in her attempt to identify with and be included with the koreans.
Then D warned C that if he didn't do it first than J might email someone higher up than him with her complaints. Well, he doesn't have to worry about *that* anymore because just an hour or so after the meeting she CCed us with the letter she wrote to the higher-up. I'm just not sure if, in korean culture, that makes C look bad, or J.
I bought a face mask today for the chemicals. C said we weren't supposed to be in those halls all weekend, later E said it was just fine and I didn't need the mask. Those two really need to colaborate their stories because they're always telling us different stuff. We never know who to listen to.
But, I did get E to take me to the doctor.
And, you might want to stop reading here if you don't want tmi or want to have any respect for me later.
I hadn't had a good poop in two, that's right, weeks. The few poops I had were small and mostly aided by a lovely herbal laxitive called Senocot. I was getting extremely tired of being bloated and as having my cycle didn't fix the problem I decided to ask for medical help. The doctor pushed on my stomach, and I've finally learned that Korean physicians only respond when you make a big deal of your pain. Then I got to get xrays. He told me my entire low intestine was filled with feces. Like I didn't know that. He prescribed a medicine and I spent the next fifteen minutes giggling like Kermit the Frog. Anyway, this stuff is prescriptive and powerful. The doctor wasn't joking about that. I beleive it is liquifying everything in my intestines and flushing it out. I'm hopoing this whole process is done and over with by monday afternoon. I'm also incredibly happy to just be pooping. You always feel better when the toxins are flushed from your body. Plus, hopefully the bloating will go down. Oh, and you should have seen the look on everyone's faces when the doctor suggested drinking water and I said I did, and eating fiber, and I said I did, and exercizing and I said I did. And then he asked me how much I exercized and I told him and everyone in the room just stopped for a second, the nurse, the doctor, and E. I don't think they comprehended that I actually exercize that much. There's an obvious missconception in Korea that westerners are bigger because they're lazy and fat. The doctor said keep working out like that. I resisted snorting. Like I intend to stop. So, then there were the x-rays, and I got to talk to E a little about some of the scars, and I figured out why my right wrist has been hurting. I was in a car accident about a year ago. That is: a car hit me while I was on my bike, or we crashed together, either way, i hurt my wrist pretty bad, though didn't break it. That's probably what the pain is from. And...now I have to poop like every 20 minutes but it is sooo worth it.
That's about all. I mailed my ballet today. I hope it's not late.
Later people!
Eat lots of fiber!