on a strange new life

[bringmedance]

its only when hes away do these ghosts appear. its not that i dont love my boyfriend, because jesus i do! he is my heart and soul. its just that...some things were left unfinished a while ago. so i eye his cool rock magazines he brings home from work and scour the pages for any sign, any sign at all. a release date, a record label...a face i might recognize. every now and then i'll happen upon some minor detail. a name, a date...and my eyes snap shut as if i could forget i saw it. like i wasnt asking for my heart to be shoved into my throat or for a buzzing in my ears that will last for atleast fifteen minutes. i dont know why i do these strange things. one minute i'll be debating between a rose or lilly boquet, the next i'll have the latest edition of AMP magazine in my lap. some may think these are signs of confusion. but thats just it, i'm not confused. i know exactly who i love, exactly who i want to be with, and will be with, for the rest of my life. i guess i can blame this solely on curiosity. what is it that dragged him so quickly away from me? fame? fortune? well i wish him both. for as much as i hate the way he hurt things, i still find pity lying around in my heart somewhere. he has the image of a lost puppy abandoned on a rainy street corner. oh well.

and thats it. all over just like that. now i can go back to planning the rest of my life.