Damn the "what if" monster is back again.....
OK so I really need to figure out what the hell i want out of life. Part of me is afraid to venture outside of the crappy admin job because... what if i take a different job and find out i don't like it either? What if I go back for more education and find out I don't like that either. There is a sense of safety in knowing i have a semi decent job even if i'm not happy with it. I spoke with Melinda today (My HR boss) and asked her opinion on some stuff. I told her how frustrated I was with the position review but I wasn't really sure if i was upset about a bad interview or the realization that I don't enjoy my job. Don't get me wrong...my job isn't horrible. But I have bigger aspirations than spending my entire day making somebody else look good and let them take the credit for my work. So now I need to figure out what the hell I DO want. Melinda thinks that I'd have a great time in the Peace Corp. Which is kind of funny that she brought it up becuase i've kind of been thinking about it. My dad did bring up a good point however about whether i really wanted to do it because i wanted to do it or if i was just procrastinating on figuring out my real goals and aspirations. I'm sure there is a certain sense of prograstination that comes with the Peace Corp idea. I am a very international person, and spending too much time on US soil kind of wears on me. So I could join the peace corp and get some great experience in the international market. Or I could go back to school and get some sort of international business degree or something. What the hell would i do with an international business degree??? I just want to get out and be with people and help people out. Which brings me back to the medical field and speech pathology ect, because i'd be helping people out again. I really envy people who know exactly what they want and go for it. I feel so lost. At this point i have two BA's and i'm afraid to jump into something new because maybe i won't like it, d then i'll have a third degree and be begging for a dumbass admin job.