2022
Holy shit it's been a long ass time since I've written in here. I almost lost access completely and that would've been hella sad since I've had this thing since middle school. It's a great way to look back and see how far I've come and how my life has evolved all together. I'm 33 years old, I own a home, a broke down car, 6 dogs, 2 cats, a wonderful wife and a funny roommate.
I just got a full time job after almost a year of not having one. I was doing uber/lyft full time but not enough to make all the money I needed for bills. Fucking typical of me not having enough money to pay my bills. I'm over that shit though. Not being financially stable stops now. I'm working as a Director of Marketing for Remax Realty Advantage, but hopefully it'll soon be called Stack House, a name I came up with randomly during my first interview which is kind of hilarious. I designed the new logo and I really like it. I wish my starting salary were higher ($40k), but there's room for me to make more with bonuses, which is pretty fucking dope. I also got my boss for secret santa...which isn't scary or anything, ha.
This year has been extremely challenging for me in a lot of ways. My health and mental health were challenged. In 2021 I was in the ER with diverticulitis and an ulcer supposedly. I was having a hard time healing from that completely. I dealt with a lot of constipation and just being uncomfortable. Last year I also shot a short film a month after I had that. It went really well except for accidentally triggering the costar with sexual trauma. Something that hurt me deeply and that I kind of did when making my first feature film this year.
After I got laid off from Keap, a job that sucked because I didn't have anything to do, but paid amazing ($70k), I decided I wanted to go ahead and make a feature film. So I wrote, casted, and shot this thing within like 3 months. And I actually really enjoyed the script, Sacred Vision. I didn't realize how emotional I would get when filming it and how much it sucked when my other costar got uncomfortable with me. I was a fucking idiot and accidentally kissed her when we weren't acting. Fuck me. I felt so close to her, I mean she was pretending when we were acting but we had really deep conversations when no one else was around and I really cherished that. So the fact that she's not texting me back anymore really sucks asshole. I just feel like a fucking failure and we had a day where Annette and I went to see her and her girlfriend and I ended up having a blowup in the parking lot because I felt like she didn't want to spend time with just us which pissed me off and hurt. I had also just started my antidepressant so I wasn't completely myself.
I'm just sick of people hurting me and treating me like shit. I'm not a fucking doormat and I deserve to be respected. I put out good fucking work and I respect everyone that works with me. I guess I just need better boundaries. I was really looking forward to getting to know her more and working together again in the future. I'm writing a web series right now called Single Gay Female and Morgan (my costar), would've been fucking perfect for the role. But again, she's not texting me back. FUCK! I need to figure out a way to not fall for my costars when I'm shooting shit.
I have a wife who I love dearly and am very grateful to be with. We've had so many ups and downs and I've definitely contemplated divorce many times, especially this year. But I still want to be with her at the end of the day. She's super supportive and loving and I love that about her. She definitely helps me be a better person. And she was awesome enough to help me get a new computer finally! It's badass, it's a gaming computer and can render big files in such a short amount of time. I can't wait to edit more films on it. I'm editing Jess' short film The Party right now. I can't wait to finish it. It's gonnabe really good.
My life is great. Annette and I are going to a Korean spa tomorrow in Katy and I am really excited about it! It's not as good as King Spa in Dallas, but it's closer and it gets the job done. I also have 25% off and need to use that coupon.
I've also gotten obsessed with lesbian manga. I never thought that would happen, but there's some really good shit out there!
I just got a full time job after almost a year of not having one. I was doing uber/lyft full time but not enough to make all the money I needed for bills. Fucking typical of me not having enough money to pay my bills. I'm over that shit though. Not being financially stable stops now. I'm working as a Director of Marketing for Remax Realty Advantage, but hopefully it'll soon be called Stack House, a name I came up with randomly during my first interview which is kind of hilarious. I designed the new logo and I really like it. I wish my starting salary were higher ($40k), but there's room for me to make more with bonuses, which is pretty fucking dope. I also got my boss for secret santa...which isn't scary or anything, ha.
This year has been extremely challenging for me in a lot of ways. My health and mental health were challenged. In 2021 I was in the ER with diverticulitis and an ulcer supposedly. I was having a hard time healing from that completely. I dealt with a lot of constipation and just being uncomfortable. Last year I also shot a short film a month after I had that. It went really well except for accidentally triggering the costar with sexual trauma. Something that hurt me deeply and that I kind of did when making my first feature film this year.
After I got laid off from Keap, a job that sucked because I didn't have anything to do, but paid amazing ($70k), I decided I wanted to go ahead and make a feature film. So I wrote, casted, and shot this thing within like 3 months. And I actually really enjoyed the script, Sacred Vision. I didn't realize how emotional I would get when filming it and how much it sucked when my other costar got uncomfortable with me. I was a fucking idiot and accidentally kissed her when we weren't acting. Fuck me. I felt so close to her, I mean she was pretending when we were acting but we had really deep conversations when no one else was around and I really cherished that. So the fact that she's not texting me back anymore really sucks asshole. I just feel like a fucking failure and we had a day where Annette and I went to see her and her girlfriend and I ended up having a blowup in the parking lot because I felt like she didn't want to spend time with just us which pissed me off and hurt. I had also just started my antidepressant so I wasn't completely myself.
I'm just sick of people hurting me and treating me like shit. I'm not a fucking doormat and I deserve to be respected. I put out good fucking work and I respect everyone that works with me. I guess I just need better boundaries. I was really looking forward to getting to know her more and working together again in the future. I'm writing a web series right now called Single Gay Female and Morgan (my costar), would've been fucking perfect for the role. But again, she's not texting me back. FUCK! I need to figure out a way to not fall for my costars when I'm shooting shit.
I have a wife who I love dearly and am very grateful to be with. We've had so many ups and downs and I've definitely contemplated divorce many times, especially this year. But I still want to be with her at the end of the day. She's super supportive and loving and I love that about her. She definitely helps me be a better person. And she was awesome enough to help me get a new computer finally! It's badass, it's a gaming computer and can render big files in such a short amount of time. I can't wait to edit more films on it. I'm editing Jess' short film The Party right now. I can't wait to finish it. It's gonnabe really good.
My life is great. Annette and I are going to a Korean spa tomorrow in Katy and I am really excited about it! It's not as good as King Spa in Dallas, but it's closer and it gets the job done. I also have 25% off and need to use that coupon.
I've also gotten obsessed with lesbian manga. I never thought that would happen, but there's some really good shit out there!