I hate Bell [NWS]
So I send about 160-200 text messages a month. Bell, whore that it is, charges 15c a text message.
So to save myself a chunk of change I decided to pay a flat $10 a month for 2500 text messages (this works out cheaper than paying $5 for 100). I clicked the box to add it to 'my cart', filled in the asked for information, and went off about my business thinking that that was all there was to it.
But no.
Bell, being crewed by incompetent feces-flinging monkeys, decided that the address I entered into their billing system (ie my address) didn't match the address they have on my profile (they don't have my address, as I don't receive a paper bill), so the following emails have been exchanged.
Oh, and I'm locked into Bell for another 2 years.
All identifying information (except my name) has been removed.
Ref.: [my cell phone]
Dear Mr. Lynchehaun,
Thank you for your recent email.
My name is Schmuck 1 and for your reference, my employee identification is.....
Upon full review of your email, I have noticed that the current address
on your account does not match the address provided in your
correspondence.
Please reply to this email with the following information so that we may
update your profile and process your request: old and current address
with confirmation that you wish to proceed with an address change.
If your home contact number has also changed, please respond with the
new number to ensure that our records are accurate. Please understand
that these measures are taken to protect the confidentiality of our
clients account profiles.
I would like to thank you, Mr. Lynchehaun, for using Bell's website and
for choosing us as your wireless communications provider. I look forward
to assisting you further upon receipt of your response.
Kind Regards,
Schmuck 1
Bell Mobility - Online Client Care
My reply:
------------------------
My address is [my current address].
I have no idea what my old address is as I moved from there several
months ago, though I recall it was on 14th Ave, Vancouver, BC.
Brian Lynchehaun
Their reply:
------------------------
Ref.: [My cell phone]
Dear Mr. Lynchehaun,
Thank you for your response.
My name is Schmuck 2 and for your reference, my employee identification is
....
Upon further review of your email, I understand that you would like to
add the Text Messaging 2500 feature to your account.
I wish to clarify that I am unable to add this feature to your account
as you have not provided your complete address as it appears on your
profile.
Since you are unable to remember your previous address, I invite you to
contact our Client Care department by dialing 1-800-667-0123 from a
landline or *611 free from your cellular telephone. The office hours
are:
Monday to Friday 8am to 9pm
Saturday 9am to 6pm
A representative will ask you a series of questions in order to confirm
your identity and, if the appropriate information is validated, complete
your request.
Please note that it is important that you do not delete the previous
chain of emails when responding to us. This trail contains confidential
information, allowing us to confirm your identity and address your
concerns efficiently. It also prevents you from having to continuously
verify your account information.
I have included this trail below, for your convenience.
I would like to thank you, Mr. Lynchehaun, for using Bell's website and
for choosing us as your wireless communications provider. I hope to have
addressed your points and welcome your response if you require further
clarification.
Additional information can be found at www.bell.ca and we can be
contacted again at www.bell.ca/contactus.
Kind Regards,
Schmuck 2
Bell Mobility - Online Client Care
My reply:
------------------------
The address on my profile is [my cell phone].
If you had wanted that, then Alex should bloody well have asked for "the
address on your profile" and NOT my "old address".
I appreciate that it's your job to make my life as difficult as
possible, but I'd really appreciate if you just add the damn text
message feature so I don't have to pay the crappy 15c per text fee that
the bloodsucking whore known as Bell charges.
Thank you.
Brian Lynchehaun
Their reply:
------------------------
Ref.: [my cell phone]
Dear Brian Lynchehaun,
Thank you for your additional response.
It is Schmuck 2 and for your reference, once again, my employee
identification is ......
Upon further review of your email, I understand that you are extremely
frustrated with this situation regarding your account. I wish to inform
you that in the future, any emails containing inappropriate language
will not be replied to.
I would like to clarify that your cell phone number does not qualify as
an address.
Once again, we will be unable to assist you without verification of the
address that currently exists on your account profile. You may wish to
contact our Client Care department to assist you with this matter, as
you have stated that you do not remember your previous address.
You may request that a Client Care representative contact you by phone,
using the steps below:
- Visit: http://www.bell.ca/support/PrsCSrvWls_Landing.page;
- Click on "Need help? Have us call you!";
- Click on "Call me now";
- Fill out the appropriate fields and click on "Submit".
Please note that airtime is applicable if you choose to receive a call
back to your cellular phone.
If you prefer, you may communicate immediately with a Client Care
representative by dialing 1-800-667-0123 or *611 free from your cellular
telephone. The office hours are:
- Monday to Friday 8:00am to 9:00pm
- Saturday 9:00am to 6:00pm
Please note that this verification is necessary to prevent unauthorized
access to your account.
I would once again request that you do not delete the previous chain of
emails when sending your reply. This information allows us to confirm
your identity and address your concerns efficiently.
I would like to thank you, Mr. Lynchehaun, for using Bell's website and
for choosing us as your wireless communications provider. I look
forward to assisting you further upon receipt of your response.
Kind Regards,
Schmuck 2
Bell Mobility - Online Client Care
My Reply:
------------------
I have not used "inappropriate language". I have used strong language, and some of that language borders on expletives. However, all of that language is entirely appropriate when dealing with your company, given it's inability to conduct business in a competent manner.
I cite this entire chain of emails as a key example of the gross incompetence of Bell.
I have logged into the Bell.ca website.
I have clicked on My Profile.
Under "Billing Address" it says [my cell phone]
If I check my registration information, there are no addresses listed.
If you are seeing an address listed on my profile, as you keep stating, I would appreciate some direction on your website to where this information is stored so that I may correct it.
However, I can appreciate that this may be against Bell's business model, given that it would be helpful thing to do.
I'm not about to waste my day talking to Bell on the phone. I tried contacting you last weekend, I was on hold for 20 minutes, at which point the representative (whose name I, of course, didn't catch) hung up. We exchanged a couple of sentences, and then the [expletive deleted] hung up.
In all the correspondence so far, you have all failed to *specifically* and *clearly* state what information you're looking for from me.
You claim you want information from my profile, and when I provided that, you claim that a telephone number isn't a valid address.
I'm well aware that a telephone number isn't a valid address (only a complete moron would equate a telephone number with an address), and yet IN MY PROFILE the billing address is my telephone number.
If you want me to provide you additional information, state clearly and unequivocally where you are seeing this information so that I may retrieve it and provide you with the information that you already have so that I can save $5 a month on text messages.
This is ridiculous....
So, rather than sit on my rear end hoping that Bell would be useful (a hope that will be revealed to be moronic a little further down), I decided to completely explore the Bell website and try to find out where this information was buried.
I found it, updated it, and sent a new email to Bell:
Having trawled through the bell website, I have located the old address information on my profile.
The old address is [old address].
I have manually updated this to my current address: [new address].
I would greatly appreciate it you could move along and add the 2500 text message package to my profile so can I can feel that Bell is screwing me just a *little* bit less than it was yesterday.
I'm sure that when you finish work today, you'll feel that you had another good day wasting several hours of someone's time by failing to assist them in any meaningful manner.
Job well done.
While I had done all that, Bell had sent a reply:
Ref.: [my cell]
Dear Mr. Lynchehaun,
Thank you for your additional response.
It is Schmuck 2and for your reference, once again, my employee
identification is ...
Upon further review of your email, I understand that you require
clarification of the information we have requested.
When your account was initially activated, we required you to provide us
with an address that was added to your account. For security purposes,
we require that you confirm this address with us. Please reply to this
email with the address that you originally provided at the time that you
activated your phone. It will be our pleasure to assist you.
Please note that this process is in place to safeguard the
confidentiality of our clients’ information, and by enforcing this
validation process, we reduce the risk of unauthorized disclosure of
information. This is especially important given that someone may contact
us and pretend to be the owner of the account.
I would like to thank you, Mr. Lynchehaun, for using Bell's website and
for choosing us as your wireless communications provider. I hope to
have addressed your points and welcome your response if you require
further clarification.
Additional information can be found at www.bell.ca and we can be
contacted again at www.bell.ca/contactus.
Kind Regards,
Schmuck 2
Bell Mobility - Online Client Care
My reply:
---------------
And in this email you have completely failed to provide any useful information.
Oddly enough, I was able to reason out that you wanted "the address that you originally provided at the time that you activated your phone" given that that would have been the only time I gave you an address, and you'll note that that address conincides with the '14th Avenue' information that I already mailed 4 emails ago.
The information that I was requesting, that I have managed to locate for myself, given the complete lack of competence on Bell's end, is:
Go to Bell's website.
Log in.
Click on Update my Contact Information
Under "Change My Account Contact Information" click on More Details
And lookee here: there's *all* the information you were asking for.
You could have saved hours of our time. You could have saved a lot of frustration on my end. You could have saved yourself the hassle of dealing with someone whom I'm *sure* you're now deeming a 'difficult customer' (to put it politely).
But no.
You completely and utterly failed to deal with my simple (and explicitly stated) request:
"If you are seeing an address listed on my profile, as you keep stating,
I would appreciate some direction on your website to where this
information is stored so that I may correct it."
The answer to that question is:
Go to Bell's website.
Log in.
Click on Update my Contact Information.
Under "Change My Account Contact Information" click on More Details.
I work in a call centre in Vancouver. I'm well aware of the pressures of the job in question. I deal with irate and uncooperative customers all the time.
I find, oddly enough, that WHEN THE CUSTOMER ASKS FOR SOMETHING SPECIFIC they are usually appeased by providing that for which they asked.
And just so we're all on the same page, in case someone else gets the other email I sent:
the address I filled out at the time of activation of my phone is:
[old address].
I have updated the information on my profile to the following address:
[new address].
Please let me know what the next hurdle is, so that we can spend more time exchanging emails, rather than you being useful and just adding the damn service.
Brian Lynchehaun
At this point, they have added the additional package.
I hate Bell.