The Obligatory "Hi, still alive" Post
Yes.
When you go away from lj for a while, you come back and there's a temptation to be like, "Hi! Sorry I've been so busy/depressed/out of the country/etc... but while I wasn't lj-ing, I:
ate food, slept, worked, saw an ex at walmart, started regularly seeing a therapist, started working out, bought a laptop, loved my laptop to the point of almost having unnatural relations with it, had my grandparents come to visit and STAY FOR ALMOST TWO MONTHS OMG!!!, begged parents to finance a plane ticket to go see zerlinda graduate, got my meager tax refund, cut 6 inches off my hair, stopped biting my nails (mostly), became addicted to sugar free Redbull- which has 100% of my daily recommended dose of niacin, wondered what the hell is niacin, lost my dignity shamelessly begging the greasy-haired parking and transit guy not to give me a ticket, got a $40 ticket and a look of contempt and disgust in return, became the only expo to make it past the 5 month mark at Smokey Bones, realized how much it sucks ass to expo by myself on fri/sat nights, got offered xanax and pot (and sex) by the last expo in apology for leaving me stranded at work, turned all three down, hardly skipped class, fought with my grandma over her constant weird spying on me, downloaded photoshop 8 and it's like starting over at zero again for me, became obsessed with spending hours at Barnes and Noble reading books written by/about morbidly obese people, had three different people call me fat in the same week the first was an evil small child who was walking with his heavily pregnant mom in Walmart. They were standing next to me in line and the spawn points to me and says loudly, "look mommy, that lady's gonna have a baby, too!". And since neither the mom or God punished the crotch dropping instantly and mercilessly, I lost my faith in there being justice in this world.
The second was actually in the gym, where since they are building new changing rooms, they put a curtain in front of a little niche in the wall. I was putting on my shoes and noticed a young girl peering at me through the space where the curtain almost meets the wall. Tiny pervert. Her mom asked if there was someone in there and before I could answer the midget bitch said,"There's a fat girl changing in there!". Again I died a little inside.
The last was the worst. A co-worker, whom I had liked before but now is on my Ultimate Shit List, was trying to pass through the alley. I had bent down to get a clean rag out of the sanitizer bucket underneath the counter. My cabinet was right across from the beverage station where a few servers were gathered getting drinks. The World's Most Evil Co-worker tries to squeeze by and says (re: my ass) "How am I supposed to get around that?". I turn and ask what she just said, and she feigns ignorance figuring I'd let it drop before I repeated the words back to her. And I did. But I also fucked up her orders for the rest of the night AND made her drop a plate. SO EAT IT BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!, and that's pretty much it for the past month or so..."
But those things are pretty boring and no one wants to read those. So instead, I blatantly stole the idea of the "bias meter" from The Flick Filosopher and I believe it covers pretty much everything that's going on with me. Notice, however, that my theft is a) lamer b)omg spaced like a blind chimp actually made it c) has more "no" than "yes" unlike the original.
Also, if this messes up anyone's flist, tell me and I'll put it behind a cut.
When you go away from lj for a while, you come back and there's a temptation to be like, "Hi! Sorry I've been so busy/depressed/out of the country/etc... but while I wasn't lj-ing, I:
ate food, slept, worked, saw an ex at walmart, started regularly seeing a therapist, started working out, bought a laptop, loved my laptop to the point of almost having unnatural relations with it, had my grandparents come to visit and STAY FOR ALMOST TWO MONTHS OMG!!!, begged parents to finance a plane ticket to go see zerlinda graduate, got my meager tax refund, cut 6 inches off my hair, stopped biting my nails (mostly), became addicted to sugar free Redbull- which has 100% of my daily recommended dose of niacin, wondered what the hell is niacin, lost my dignity shamelessly begging the greasy-haired parking and transit guy not to give me a ticket, got a $40 ticket and a look of contempt and disgust in return, became the only expo to make it past the 5 month mark at Smokey Bones, realized how much it sucks ass to expo by myself on fri/sat nights, got offered xanax and pot (and sex) by the last expo in apology for leaving me stranded at work, turned all three down, hardly skipped class, fought with my grandma over her constant weird spying on me, downloaded photoshop 8 and it's like starting over at zero again for me, became obsessed with spending hours at Barnes and Noble reading books written by/about morbidly obese people, had three different people call me fat in the same week the first was an evil small child who was walking with his heavily pregnant mom in Walmart. They were standing next to me in line and the spawn points to me and says loudly, "look mommy, that lady's gonna have a baby, too!". And since neither the mom or God punished the crotch dropping instantly and mercilessly, I lost my faith in there being justice in this world.
The second was actually in the gym, where since they are building new changing rooms, they put a curtain in front of a little niche in the wall. I was putting on my shoes and noticed a young girl peering at me through the space where the curtain almost meets the wall. Tiny pervert. Her mom asked if there was someone in there and before I could answer the midget bitch said,"There's a fat girl changing in there!". Again I died a little inside.
The last was the worst. A co-worker, whom I had liked before but now is on my Ultimate Shit List, was trying to pass through the alley. I had bent down to get a clean rag out of the sanitizer bucket underneath the counter. My cabinet was right across from the beverage station where a few servers were gathered getting drinks. The World's Most Evil Co-worker tries to squeeze by and says (re: my ass) "How am I supposed to get around that?". I turn and ask what she just said, and she feigns ignorance figuring I'd let it drop before I repeated the words back to her. And I did. But I also fucked up her orders for the rest of the night AND made her drop a plate. SO EAT IT BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!, and that's pretty much it for the past month or so..."
But those things are pretty boring and no one wants to read those. So instead, I blatantly stole the idea of the "bias meter" from The Flick Filosopher and I believe it covers pretty much everything that's going on with me. Notice, however, that my theft is a) lamer b)omg spaced like a blind chimp actually made it c) has more "no" than "yes" unlike the original.
Also, if this messes up anyone's flist, tell me and I'll put it behind a cut.