I won't say I hate the body
But when I suddenly experience a stabbing, violent pain in my right knee after getting off the train without ever doing anything that might cause pain, it makes me want to scream.
I almost didn't think I'd make it into my office building. My knee wanted to collapse. Walking -- the act of bending the knee, taking a step, straightening the knee, putting pressure on the leg -- was so excruciating I almost turned around to go home. And then I thought, no, it's Monday. We have a long day in the law library ahead of us. I'll live. Maybe it will get better.
It got tolerable. I went to the bathroom and in the stall I looked at my knees. They are covered in bruises and they are swollen. I didn't do anything to cause bruising. And now my left knee isn't doing so well. But in the exact spot on the top of my knee where it feels stabby stabby and on fire -- just off to the outside -- there is a lovely faint black, blue, and purple spot.
Mondays. Huh. I never imagined it being a Monday, a rainy Monday, could bruise me just by existing. Now both knees are throbbing. But the left isn't so bad, since the damage isn't on the joint, it's toward the inside of the kneecap. I wish I didn't have to walk at all. I think I'll go apply some massage oil and amateur Reiki.
Fuck, I want to cry.
Stupid body.
I almost didn't think I'd make it into my office building. My knee wanted to collapse. Walking -- the act of bending the knee, taking a step, straightening the knee, putting pressure on the leg -- was so excruciating I almost turned around to go home. And then I thought, no, it's Monday. We have a long day in the law library ahead of us. I'll live. Maybe it will get better.
It got tolerable. I went to the bathroom and in the stall I looked at my knees. They are covered in bruises and they are swollen. I didn't do anything to cause bruising. And now my left knee isn't doing so well. But in the exact spot on the top of my knee where it feels stabby stabby and on fire -- just off to the outside -- there is a lovely faint black, blue, and purple spot.
Mondays. Huh. I never imagined it being a Monday, a rainy Monday, could bruise me just by existing. Now both knees are throbbing. But the left isn't so bad, since the damage isn't on the joint, it's toward the inside of the kneecap. I wish I didn't have to walk at all. I think I'll go apply some massage oil and amateur Reiki.
Fuck, I want to cry.
Stupid body.