I love you, food. You has a flavor! Come back, flavor!

[brightlotusmoon]

I know it's not a good idea to post about food and health issues here, so I shall start by begging you to not feel jealous or mutter "I wish I had that problem" because you don't want it, you really really don't, because it's creepy and awful and disastrous and it makes me cry.
I'm 33. Who knows what will happen if I can't control this?

I eat, and I exercise, just not enough. My appetite stimulating ghrelin hormone has been chained in a basement, and my appetite is so poor that I can only finish half of anything.

And I am concerned and Adam is concerned and once I see my doctors they will be concerned and I just want to Eat All The Foods but it's like sand in my throat, and my stomach is so full and I want to cry.
Adam believes I am skirting the borderline anorexia edge, and I say hell no. I don't even think about fat or weight or appearance. I haven't lost or gained weight or inches or anything...yet.
But that may be the beginning stage of backsliding and I don't wanna! It scares me! I just want to eat normally again! I want to exercise enough so it makes me hungry!

Start me on bananas and asparagus and yogurt superfruit smoothies, I don't care, I just want to eat!

Okay, I'm finished.

Please return to your lives as scheduled.

Also, I'm sorry.