I want a mate!
Have you ever felt as if maybe your life was supposed to transpire in a fashion that isn't the norm? Like maybe the whole white picket fence idea really doesn't apply to your particular destiny?
Sometimes I really wonder if I was put here to spend my life alone. Sometimes I just don't think that I can really handle a life with someone else. Don't get me wrong, I would marry Sal tomorrow if I could, my thing is different. Maybe my independence and such makes it difficult for me to get along with. I'm a nice person, however I am pretty stuck in my ways, also my desire to be right, or non ability to give is often a detriment to who I want to be. But at the same times, I wouldn't be able to stop whatever it is that is making me do that way.
That idea that maybe I'm supposed to be alone, dogs me a lot. I absolutely love Sal, and it's nothing to do with him, I think it's more to do with me. That I feel that things should be one way, and I don't see the middle. It's just one way, a direct, bottom line type thing.
I feel it's bad on my part that I am unable to bend, because life and relationships are all about compromise. My fear in that is too much compromise leads to someone being a pushover, and Jane is far from a pushover.
On lighter more fun news, I just got season four of Doctor Who. Hee! Sweet deal, am checking to see if they have the rest of the seasons. I got it for 35 with no shipping.
I passed the anniversary of losing my mom last month. It was a hard day, but having my sister and Sal with me all day and then spending the evening with my friends made the day what it should have been, a celebration of my mom. She'd had a blast with every one and been extremely upset at how intoxicated we were. But we had fun. It was a day I was able to get through, but just last week I was driving home and hear the Bomshel song, Fight Like a Girl and for some reason it brought me to tears. I spent the evening sad, and really missing my mom. It's amazing how the days come and go as such.
Got pulled over last night, really nice cop. Told me my headlight was out. Thank God he didn't notice the expired tags. Apparently our DMV is closed every Friday for the next coming three weeks. And Friday was the day I had to get my tags.
Now I have to squeeze it in on Monday. Also Tuesday? HARRY POTTER! I already got my tickets bitches. I'm so excited. So I have Tues-Wed off, and then I work four hours on Friday and then it's Keith Urban and then I have Sat off where I get to have brunch with my Dad and then go to a birthday party. Hee!
Sal just made dinner so I'm off. I am supposed to be posting to this daily. Starting now.
Sometimes I really wonder if I was put here to spend my life alone. Sometimes I just don't think that I can really handle a life with someone else. Don't get me wrong, I would marry Sal tomorrow if I could, my thing is different. Maybe my independence and such makes it difficult for me to get along with. I'm a nice person, however I am pretty stuck in my ways, also my desire to be right, or non ability to give is often a detriment to who I want to be. But at the same times, I wouldn't be able to stop whatever it is that is making me do that way.
That idea that maybe I'm supposed to be alone, dogs me a lot. I absolutely love Sal, and it's nothing to do with him, I think it's more to do with me. That I feel that things should be one way, and I don't see the middle. It's just one way, a direct, bottom line type thing.
I feel it's bad on my part that I am unable to bend, because life and relationships are all about compromise. My fear in that is too much compromise leads to someone being a pushover, and Jane is far from a pushover.
On lighter more fun news, I just got season four of Doctor Who. Hee! Sweet deal, am checking to see if they have the rest of the seasons. I got it for 35 with no shipping.
I passed the anniversary of losing my mom last month. It was a hard day, but having my sister and Sal with me all day and then spending the evening with my friends made the day what it should have been, a celebration of my mom. She'd had a blast with every one and been extremely upset at how intoxicated we were. But we had fun. It was a day I was able to get through, but just last week I was driving home and hear the Bomshel song, Fight Like a Girl and for some reason it brought me to tears. I spent the evening sad, and really missing my mom. It's amazing how the days come and go as such.
Got pulled over last night, really nice cop. Told me my headlight was out. Thank God he didn't notice the expired tags. Apparently our DMV is closed every Friday for the next coming three weeks. And Friday was the day I had to get my tags.
Now I have to squeeze it in on Monday. Also Tuesday? HARRY POTTER! I already got my tickets bitches. I'm so excited. So I have Tues-Wed off, and then I work four hours on Friday and then it's Keith Urban and then I have Sat off where I get to have brunch with my Dad and then go to a birthday party. Hee!
Sal just made dinner so I'm off. I am supposed to be posting to this daily. Starting now.