Two weeks.
Today marks two weeks that my mom's been gone. Yesterday was her memorial service, which was really nice. We had a lot of yellow roses, and it was held in this beautiful little chapel with the whole spire and stained glass windows. No family was there aside from me and my sister, the rest were my high school friends, friends, and my internet peeps.
I wrote something to say about her, even though it didn't come anywhere near to expressing what I really wanted to say. But as for my mom, what I really feel and what she means to me, escapes words.
Ang spoke, Sara spoke, sissy spoke, Sara's mom spoke and my dear Lizzie spoke too. You forget things, and then people get up and say stuff and you're like OMG that's so true!
The pastor rambled a bit, but it was nice, and everyone wore red and we had her yellow roses and people enjoyed the pictures.
I was good the rest of the day, we had lunch with Sara, Jennie, Sarah, Sandy, Jess, me my sister and Sal, which was a lot of fun. Then Sara, and Jess came and hung out at the apt. After everyone left, and I trimmed all the roses down and went to take a shower, I played the cd my sister made and I just sat on the edge of my bathtub and cried. Sobbed is really more like it, it wasn't like I hadn't sobbed at the service, because omg, I so did. But I just realized that I mean seriously, she's gone. I'm pretty sure she's with me. Like sitting here just being with me, and she always will go with me, waiting for me. I know she made me strong enough to go on with out her. I just don't really want to.
So this week I have my first full five day work week since I left for Vegas, and next week I'm going back to ATL. I need to be busy, and really I probably need to spend more time alone, just to aclimate myself to it, because once I am, that's when I really start to lose it.
I just really wish Sal would find a job so he could move in with me.
I wrote something to say about her, even though it didn't come anywhere near to expressing what I really wanted to say. But as for my mom, what I really feel and what she means to me, escapes words.
Ang spoke, Sara spoke, sissy spoke, Sara's mom spoke and my dear Lizzie spoke too. You forget things, and then people get up and say stuff and you're like OMG that's so true!
The pastor rambled a bit, but it was nice, and everyone wore red and we had her yellow roses and people enjoyed the pictures.
I was good the rest of the day, we had lunch with Sara, Jennie, Sarah, Sandy, Jess, me my sister and Sal, which was a lot of fun. Then Sara, and Jess came and hung out at the apt. After everyone left, and I trimmed all the roses down and went to take a shower, I played the cd my sister made and I just sat on the edge of my bathtub and cried. Sobbed is really more like it, it wasn't like I hadn't sobbed at the service, because omg, I so did. But I just realized that I mean seriously, she's gone. I'm pretty sure she's with me. Like sitting here just being with me, and she always will go with me, waiting for me. I know she made me strong enough to go on with out her. I just don't really want to.
So this week I have my first full five day work week since I left for Vegas, and next week I'm going back to ATL. I need to be busy, and really I probably need to spend more time alone, just to aclimate myself to it, because once I am, that's when I really start to lose it.
I just really wish Sal would find a job so he could move in with me.