Nano 2013: Long Way Home
Long Way Home
by Bratling
Disclaimer: Not mine. I hugged them, squeezed them, called them George, and then gave them back like a good girl. Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman belongs to Beth Sullivan, CBS, and A&E.
Author's Note: This is an alt-beginnings story, so if you don't like AUs, turn back now. It's a complete alternate universe, where events among our favorite characters developed along slightly different lines. I'm jumping the canon track before the series began and as of yet, I'm uncertain if we'll go into canon years. No character bashing intended, but certain people may behave differently than in canon. Their lives developed differently and thus they're not the same as in canon. This story popped up late one night while GeneaLady and I were talking, and it's been obsessing me ever since.
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"You travel back along the line of time and you don't find the past, but another world, another bracket of consciousness. The earth would be the same, you see, or almost the same. Same trees, same rivers, same hills, but it wouldn't be the world we know. Because it has lived a different life, it has developed differently. The second back of us is not the second back of us at all, but another second, a totally separate sector of time. We live in the same second all the time. We move along within the bracket of that second, that tiny bit of time that has been allotted to our particular world."
--Clifford D. Simak, "City" 1952
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Chapter 1:
Slaughter of Hope
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“One should rather die than be betrayed. There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though … betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope.”
--Steven Dietz
~*~*~*~
April 1862
Abagail hadn't showed up for the funeral. It had been by luck only that a doctor -- Dr. Bernard -- had been in town when she'd gone into labor. If he hadn't been stranded in Colorado Springs by a broken axle on the stagecoach, Abagail wouldn't have survived the birth. The baby, Hanna Sully, had been stillborn, and Loren's first indication that something was amiss was when she didn't show up for her own daughter's funeral. She'd disappeared, and the next time anyone heard from her was the divorce papers she sent Sully. That had been a month ago, and today, Loren had received a letter asking for money. Loren sighed. He loved his daughter, and if he were honest with himself, he had spoiled her a lot. But if he hadn't approved of her choice to marry Sully, he approved even less of her choice to abandon him. He was no stranger to the heartache of losing a child, because he and Maude had lost two, but it was no excuse to run off on a spouse. With a quiet word to Olive, who had just arrived back in town days before, he was out the door, heading to where he knew he'd find his former son-in-law.
Sure enough, he was exactly where Loren knew he would be -- sitting on the bench in front of the small graveyard. He took a few minutes to examine him. His hair had been neither cut nor washed in quite some time and hung in his eyes in greasy, tangled strands. He hadn't shaved much, either, and his beard was an unkempt as his hair. His cheeks were sunken and gaunt and he had large circles under his eyes. It looked like he'd lost more weight than he could really afford to lose, his clothes were terribly dirty, and there were holes in both the elbows of his shirt and in the knees of his trousers. "You look terrible, Sully." Loren sat down beside him.
"Don't matter," Sully muttered. "Haven't decided what ta do yet."
"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Loren was curious, but he'd seen the look in his eyes before back when he'd fought in the Mexican-American War. He looked almost fey. Abagail had done this to him. Even when he had still been angry with Sully, he'd known that he treated her well. Determination settled over Loren. He would not allow his wayward daughter to destroy a good man who had done nothing but love her and provide for her.
"Maybe goin' east," Sully said dully. "Could sign up in Saint Louis and fight for th' Union." Impatiently, he pushed his greasy, tangled hair away from his face. "Least then my death'd mean something." The last was said in a hoarse whisper.
Loren would not have it! "Byron Ackerley Sully!" He stood and glared at his son-in-law, his arms crossed over his chest. "I won't have it, I tell you. You're coming home with me now and you're gonna get cleaned up and you will not allow what she did destroy you, you hear me?"
Sully simply stared at him, his eyes wide with shock. "Ya don't like me, Loren," he said finally. "Ya never have."
Loren reached out and grabbed Sully's ear. "Well, maybe I was wrong," his voice was gruff, and he had a scowl on his face. "We're going home," he said, tugging on him. "We redecorated Abby's old room as a guest room and got rid of her stuff." What he didn't say was that they'd donated any childhood items left to an orphanage in Denver and burned the rest. He marched Sully back to the mercantile, heedless of the stares from other people in town. He'd done wrong by the young man, and from the looks of things Abagail had ripped him apart. He figured he owed it to him to get him back on his feet.
Sully didn't resist at all as he marched up the steps, through the store, and into the living quarters. That alone made Loren worry. Sully was a peaceable enough fellow, but he'd never submit to such treatment if he were in his right mind. He didn't release his son-in-law's ear until he'd reached the kitchen and forced him down in one of the chairs. "Maude!" he yelled.
Maude came in, wiping her hands on her apron. Her sleeves were rolled up and there was a wet spot on her apron as if she'd been doing laundry. She took one look at Sully, and without a word, dished up a large plateful of the stew that had been on the back of the stove all day and put it in front of him. That was followed by two slices of warm bread, spread thickly with fresh butter, a dish of wild plum preserves, a pitcher of milk from the ice box, and a large wedge of chocolate cake. "Eat," she ordered with a frown. "Loren, go borrow a bathtub from Jake. He needs a full bath with how bad off he is."
"I'm goin', woman, I'm goin'." Loren gave Sully a look. "I'll be back fast as I can," he said with a frown.
Sully nodded and stared at the tabletop, but made no motions to reach for his spoon. "Eat, Byron," Maude ordered, stressing his first name. He winced, but picked up his spoon. Loren lingered near the door for a moment until he took a bite, and then left, heading straight for the barber shop.
Jake was just opening up, and it wouldn't be the first time he'd borrowed a tub from him -- Jake didn't allow women in the back, and every once in a while, Maude got a hankering for a full bath. He hurried up the steps and in the door. "Jake," Loren said. "I need ta borrow your bathtub -- Maude sent me after it."
Jake made a face. "And ya gotta keep the missus happy," he said with a sigh. "Have it back as soon as ya can. I'll even help carry it over."
"Thank you," Loren said with a put upon sigh. "Don't want Maude angry with me."
Jake smirked. "See, this is why I ain't married. Don't have ta worry 'bout keepin' no woman happy."
"You just wait," Loren said as he headed to the back of the shop. "Someday some pretty little thing is gonna catch your eye, and then you'll be in the same boat I am -- makin' her happy so's ya can sleep in your own bed an' have clean shirts an' warm meals."
Jake simply shook his head in disgust and helped him carry the copper tub out of the back of the barber shop and down the street to the store. They carried it inside and Jake left. Loren had a quiet word with Olive to let her know what was going on, and she helped him carry it into the kitchen and then went back out to mind the store. He sat down at the kitchen table and found that Sully had only managed to finish a slice of bread and half a plate of stew. He was pushing the rest of it around his plate with his spoon. "Can't eat anymore?" Loren asked.
Sully shook his head. "I'm full," he said listlessly.
"When was the last time you ate?" Maude asked with a frown.
Sully shrugged. "Dunno," he said.
"Slept? Bathed?" Maude put her hands on her hips.
Sully just shrugged again.
With dawning realization, Loren stared at his son-in-law. "You haven't been back to the homestead since Abagail left have you?"
Sully shook his head. "I never want ta go back there again," he said in a harsh voice.
"What about the animals, Sully?" Maude asked gently.
"Gave 'em ta Charlotte, so they ain't sufferin'. Thought she could use 'em since her husband lit out, leavin' her with those three kids." Sully dropped the spoon with a clatter and stared at the table.
Loren and Maude exchanged a glance and he nodded to her. "Olive and I will go out to the homestead and get some clothes for you, Sully."
"All right," Sully traced the wood grain of the table with his fingertip. Maude left quickly, and Loren knew she'd be getting rid of whatever Abagail had left behind, just as they had before. Maude hadn't liked it at first, but had changed her mind once she'd seen what Abagail had done to Sully. They'd discussed it right after Abagail left and decided that they would not be sending her money, should she ask for it, because she had to learn that there were consequences to her actions. They still loved her, but her actions had been reprehensible in their eyes.
Loren reached out and grabbed Sully's arm. "Sully, there's somethin' other than Abagail leavin' eatin' ya, ain't there?"
Sully glanced at him, and then looked back at the table. "Ya wouldn't believe me if I told ya, Loren," he said with a scowl. "Blood always believes blood and stands by blood," his voice was hard, but there was a weariness in it that spoke of long experience.
Loren eyed him and frowned. He'd known something was going on with Abagail before she and Sully had started courting. After Sully had come to him for permission, she seemed to settle down, so he'd decided she was just sweet on him. But what if it was something else? At this point, he was willing to swear Sully had married a changeling, as the old stories went, and the Abagail he'd raised was a dim memory. He reached out and grabbed Sully's chin. "She didn't cuckold you did she?"
The look on Sully's face said it all. He hesitated for a few minutes before answering. "Yes," he said finally as he wrenched his chin from Loren's hand and stared at the table again. "Jeb Parsons came t' me after Hanna's funeral and he told me the baby might not be mine 'cause he's been sleepin' with Abagail since she was sixteen."
Anger settled over Loren's face. His daughter had played not only Sully, but her family the fool. "I ain't mad at ya, son," he said through clenched teeth. "She went against everything her mother and I taught her. Was she workin' for Hank at th' saloon, too?" Parsons was thirty years Abagail's senior and married with eight kids of his own. Briefly, he wondered if Parsons' wife knew.
Sully shrugged. "Woulda thought you'd gone after Parsons," he muttered. "Ya went after me, an' at least I married her 'fore we did anything."
"Abby's just as responsible as Parsons." Loren's scowl deepened. "I shouldn't have done that. I realized a long time ago that my plans for her to marry Martin Anderson weren't hers."
Sully laughed bitterly. "Betrayin' me weren't somethin' that just happened. She planned it in cold blood, Loren." He looked at him with desperation to be believed in his face. "She courted me 'cause she thought you an' Maude were gettin' suspicious. She married me 'cause she thought she was pregnant, and when she weren't, she kept on seein' him. Wouldn't let me touch her most of th' time, and did her best to make me feel guilty when I did! Told me I made her feel dirty! Told me that it was wrong for me ta even want to 'cept if we were tryin' ta make a baby."
Loren drew in a deep breath. His anger at Abagail wouldn't help Sully. And it was Sully who mattered right then. Abagail could wait, and he now knew the response he and Maude would be sending. He'd have to talk to both her and Olive and explain, but he was fairly sure they would agree with him. "She was lyin' bout that, too, son. It's a wife's duty..."
"I know," Sully murmured. "But I ain't never hurt a woman, an' I wasn't 'bout ta start with my wife. Tried not ta press her. Thought she loved me, but that was a lie, too." A bitter smiled crossed his face. "I ain't had a family an' a home for most of my life an' I wanted it so bad I let myself believe she loved me. I'm a fool!"
"No, ya ain't," Loren disagreed. "Abagail had all of us fooled, Sully. Nobody knew she was whorin' herself and lyin' ta everybody 'bout it. 'Least Hank's girls're honest 'bout their whorin' ways."
Sully stared at the wall, his eyes unseeing. "Shoulda known better," he mumbled as his fingers absently picked at his cuticles. "Shoulda known nobody could ever love me."
A chill ran through Loren's spine at the words and he realized that through his own doing, just how little he actually knew his son-in-law. His actions thus far had been born more out of common decency and anger at Abagail than anything else. While he knew Sully was a good man who ill-deserved what Abagail had done to him, he had little personal knowledge of him. "What do you mean?" he asked.
Sully snorted. "My mother drowned herself in the Hudson River on my tenth birthday. Got sent to orphanages after that. Placed out a few times, but none of 'em ever really wanted me. Found out th' last one didn't want me, either, so I lit out th' day I turned fourteen and headed west." He rubbed his eyes. "Don't think I'll ever trust a woman like that again," he said bitterly. "I'm better off alone."
"Aww, Sully," Loren clapped him on the back. "You're young yet. You'll find somebody better than Abagail; someone who really will love you."
Slowly, Sully shook his head. "No," he ran his hands through his hair. "Prob'ly ain't gonna stick around, Loren. She cleaned me out; took my life's savings with her when she took off. Abagail must've done run through it, 'cause she had the audacity to ask for more when she sent the divorce papers." He laughed humorlessly. "I've been hearin' rumors of the mine closin', anyway."
Loren's heart sank. With every word, Sully further condemned her, stripping any illusion from him that there was anything redeemable in his former daughter. "How much?"
Sully sighed. "Somethin' over six hundred dollars. Most of it in hard coinage 'cause it's worth more. Started when I was little an' found money in th' street. Figured I might need it one day."
Loren swallowed, hard. Six hundred dollars was a lot of money. It wasn't surprising Sully had worked his whole life to save that much. He must have been putting away a dollar here and there for years. He needed to talk to Maude and Olive. Somehow, they had to be partially responsible for Abagail because they were her family. It was up to them to make restitution to Sully for what she'd done. He didn't say anything, though. "There's time enough to make plans," he said instead. "Ya can stay here as long as ya want... Now let's get ya cleaned up."
Sully sighed and nodded. Together, they hauled and heated water and filled the tub. Loren left for a few minutes to return with towels, a flannel, and a new bar of Pyles' soap. "Holler if I can get ya anything," he said, and then went to go mind the store. Once he was out of sight, he allowed his shoulders to slump. It was now obvious why Sully was such a mess. He only hoped that for the young man's sake, he'd be able to heal and move past what Abagail had done.
~*~*~*~
Maude and Olive pulled up to Sully's homestead, climbed down from the wagon, and tied the horse to the hitching post. Without a word, they went inside. "Oh, my..." Maude said in shock. Sully's possessions were strewn around the one-room cabin, destroyed. It looked like all his clothing had been attacked by scissors. Torn pages from books littered the ground, and in the center of the unmade bed lay what Maude knew was the only picture Sully possessed of his parents, torn into four pieces. The handle on his ax had been sawed in half, and she was willing to bet that almost all his tools had been damaged in some way. In contrast, what was left of Abagail's possessions were in pristine condition. They sat, untouched, in their accustomed places. There was a lamp in the middle of the table -- it was an ornate one Abagail had favored -- laying next to it was a piece of paper. Olive picked it up and Maude could see water spots on it. Quickly, Olive scanned the paper, her mouth tightening as she read.
When she finished, Olive put it back where she'd found it. "We'll burn that," she said with a frown. Maude reached for the letter, but Olive stopped her. "Are you sure you want to know exactly what Abagail is like?" she asked. "That letter's a confession; she's been lyin' to all of us since she was sixteen, and sleepin' around. She's worse than one of Hank's girls, Maude, and she did this." Olive gestured to the mess in the cabin. "And then she had the impudence to ask Sully to send her things after she admitted to stealing his savings on top of everything else!"
"I need to, Olive," Maude said resolutely. "I need to know what Abagail did. Loren destroyed everything she left behind at home, and he wants to do the same here; I need to know it's the right thing to do." She picked up the letter and started to read. Everything was there. The deception, the infidelity, the theft, even down to destroying everything Sully owned. Maude had taught her daughter to read and write and thus knew her handwriting, and there was no doubt in her mind that her daughter had written the confession. Abagail had said horrible things to Sully in the letter, most of which Maude was sure weren't true. And in the end, she had asked him to send her things, giving the same address that was on the letters Abagail had sent. One of the worst, though was Abby's admission that she'd taken Sully's life savings. Six hundred eighty-two dollars was a great deal of money, yet Abagail had sneered at it, castigating him for not having more for her to take and asking him to send even more money with her possessions.
Tears began to run down Maude's face. "That thing is not the daughter I raised," she murmured, giving Olive a pleading look. "What are we going to do?"
Olive sighed. "We're going to clean up, rearrange everything, pack up the baby things and store them in the barn and get rid of Abagail's things. I'll talk to Loren, and we'll replace what Abagail destroyed and together, we'll have to replace what she stole. We ain't rich, so it'll take years, but we owe it to Sully to make up for what we can."
Resolve rose in Maude. "We ain't burnin' the letter," she said with a scowl. "We'll wire Marshal Hunt in Denver an' ask if he can use it; if nothin' else, it's a signed confession ta theft."
Olive looked shocked, and Maude knew that it was because, after all, Abagail was blood. "Are you sure you want to do that, Maude?" she asked. "They hang thieves, you know."
"You saw Sully, didn't you?" Maude asked with a frown. At Olive's nod, she continued. "He's a good man who don't deserve this and Abagail has to accept the consequences of her actions. If the law finds her and hangs her, well don't she deserve it?" She turned away from Olive and started to gather the torn clothing, trying to find something salvageable in the mess. "For now, we get goin' and clean up. We make this into a home Sully can live in without memories of my whore of a daughter, and I'll sign the property over to him. Least I can do after the pain she's caused him."
"I'll make a list of what Abagail ruined," Olive said with a sigh. She grabbed some paper, an inkwell, and a pen and put them on the table. As they cleaned, they took inventory of what was beyond repair writing it down on the paper. None of Sully's clothing was salvageable, and just about everything else he owned was ruined. He'd be starting over. It took a few hours, but eventually, the room was cleaned, all Abagail's thing were packed in a crate for disposal,
and the baby things were also packed in another crate and stored in the barn. Working together, Maude and Olive rearranged the furniture that wasn't damaged beyond repair and left the homestead to head back to town. Maude looked at the list and sighed. Loren was right. The sweet little girl Abagail had been was dead and they were childless.
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