horrible week
I'm tired. I woke up Wednesday to one of the Aspies screaming at me--my brother. I know it's mostly the Aspergers talking, but it's exceedingly hard to deal with when you're being told how stupid and selfish you are. (Looking in a mirror, much? Everything he accuses me of, is in himself. I try to be patient, but it's hard.)
Was told I'm delusional, not sick, physically not badly off, selfish, stupid, and that I need to grow up. I want my mommy. Maybe that's childish, but I want her back NOW and I wanted her Wednesday. I don't like being in control of the asylum. Oh, yes, and let's not forget that I'm a quitter because I didn't start his jacket project and he can never trust me again. Apparently, I should be able to do it for him while taking care of the children and listening to him nag me to death. I only told him 14 times that if he didn't stop nagging, I wouldn't do it. And I'm doubly a quitter because I woke up feeling crappy and don't want to go to the bank Wednesday morning like had been planned. I was nauseous and had a sick headache. I'm still nauseous. And he's just started in on me again.
I know my brother has Aspergers, even though he's in denial of it. I know he has problems. But when he decides to throw tantrums like Wednesday's and today's minor one, I just want to go and hide. When the ACTUAL children throw tantrums, it's easier to deal with than the grown up children with delusions of competency... It's natural for him to want to be on his own, but realistically speaking, it will never happen. On good days he behaves like he's 12. Days like Wednesday and today, he's 2... an ugly, mean 2.
Was told I'm delusional, not sick, physically not badly off, selfish, stupid, and that I need to grow up. I want my mommy. Maybe that's childish, but I want her back NOW and I wanted her Wednesday. I don't like being in control of the asylum. Oh, yes, and let's not forget that I'm a quitter because I didn't start his jacket project and he can never trust me again. Apparently, I should be able to do it for him while taking care of the children and listening to him nag me to death. I only told him 14 times that if he didn't stop nagging, I wouldn't do it. And I'm doubly a quitter because I woke up feeling crappy and don't want to go to the bank Wednesday morning like had been planned. I was nauseous and had a sick headache. I'm still nauseous. And he's just started in on me again.
I know my brother has Aspergers, even though he's in denial of it. I know he has problems. But when he decides to throw tantrums like Wednesday's and today's minor one, I just want to go and hide. When the ACTUAL children throw tantrums, it's easier to deal with than the grown up children with delusions of competency... It's natural for him to want to be on his own, but realistically speaking, it will never happen. On good days he behaves like he's 12. Days like Wednesday and today, he's 2... an ugly, mean 2.