(no subject)
this past week has been the closest ive ever been to actually being broke. like, literally, having NO money. the abject disintigration of my job could not have come at a worse time. i think there may be a small light at the end of my tunnel, and i dont know yet if its my saving grace, but i will find out shortly. i suppose by shortly i mean thursday, because thats about as much time as i have. however i have to keep in mind that even if the potential light saves my grace i still might not be out of the woods yet. to know if im out of the woods i have to wait until next month. and even if im out of the woods next month, im still under a mountain of bills and deep in a hole of debt. so i have to climb out of the hole which is under the mountain which is outside the woods at the end of the tunnel, and time is my only friend and also my worst enemy.
i think that pretty adequately describes where i am right now. ive been a bit preoccupied.
i suppose it might make me feel more productive if i go clean my kitchen. which i dont want to do. it hurts my neck to dip my head down like that and i might as well be at the bookstore if im going to suffer for that stance.
why are my lights blinking? okay, theyre not anymore. but thats bothers me.
theres a commercial for chocolate on and it just might break me. i might have to go buy some chocolate. i really really shouldnt. but i might. i think i will. just to make me feel better. wouldnt that be amazing if i got a job at the godiva store in the towson mall?!?! wouldnt it?!?! i think i might do that too! oh my god. me, in a chocolate store. oh. my. god. id get fat in no time.
i love these nights when they play three straight hours of friends. its so comforting. not that i sit in front of my tv for three straight hours, i just leave it on while i do other things.
seriously though, i dont smoke, i dont drink (a lot), i dont go shopping all the time or spend unnecessarily, i feel like if im going to be this poor i should at least have a vice that i spend all my money on! i should at least get to enjoy something like that! but i dont. in fact im unusually resposible and organized about my finances. i know exactly when something is too much and when i should say no, and i have to say no to myself all the time because we dont have any money to be spending. thats the problem. its not that we dont know how to pay our bills, its that we dont have MONEY. GRR. I HATE MONEY BECAUSE I HAVE NONE. though i should soon. not a terrible unusual lot, but hopefully enough.
okay! im going to go watch friends and clean my kitchen during commercials. and later go to the bookstore and buy some chocolate while im out. BECAUSE I WANT SOME CHOCOLATE, DAMMIT. ooh, chandler just got burned. haha.
i think that pretty adequately describes where i am right now. ive been a bit preoccupied.
i suppose it might make me feel more productive if i go clean my kitchen. which i dont want to do. it hurts my neck to dip my head down like that and i might as well be at the bookstore if im going to suffer for that stance.
why are my lights blinking? okay, theyre not anymore. but thats bothers me.
theres a commercial for chocolate on and it just might break me. i might have to go buy some chocolate. i really really shouldnt. but i might. i think i will. just to make me feel better. wouldnt that be amazing if i got a job at the godiva store in the towson mall?!?! wouldnt it?!?! i think i might do that too! oh my god. me, in a chocolate store. oh. my. god. id get fat in no time.
i love these nights when they play three straight hours of friends. its so comforting. not that i sit in front of my tv for three straight hours, i just leave it on while i do other things.
seriously though, i dont smoke, i dont drink (a lot), i dont go shopping all the time or spend unnecessarily, i feel like if im going to be this poor i should at least have a vice that i spend all my money on! i should at least get to enjoy something like that! but i dont. in fact im unusually resposible and organized about my finances. i know exactly when something is too much and when i should say no, and i have to say no to myself all the time because we dont have any money to be spending. thats the problem. its not that we dont know how to pay our bills, its that we dont have MONEY. GRR. I HATE MONEY BECAUSE I HAVE NONE. though i should soon. not a terrible unusual lot, but hopefully enough.
okay! im going to go watch friends and clean my kitchen during commercials. and later go to the bookstore and buy some chocolate while im out. BECAUSE I WANT SOME CHOCOLATE, DAMMIT. ooh, chandler just got burned. haha.