Rewired
As I wrote a month or so ago, I had surgery to re-route my guts. I have five little scars across my belly to prove that that was the part of my body where the surgeon did his work.
But there is some evidence that something got into my brain and rearranged the wiring there, too.
Even at my most fit, just turned 23 and graduating from Navy boot camp, I hated exercising. I did what I was required to do and hated every minute of it. On graduation day we had to do I-forget-how-many pushups, jumping jacks and chin-ups followed by 200 situps and ending with a 3 mile run (running, not run-walkiing). At the end of the run I continued out the door of the gymnasium and vomited into the bushes. This body was never one that enjoyed working out. I've done it in a few phases since that horrible day in the Navy - keeping up with gym memberships for a few months at a time, doing daily aerobics classes for almost a full year - but I've never really enjoyed it. I did it those few times for reasons outside myself.
But there is something very different about the way I've been feeling this post-surgery month. Michele and I are both doing a "Couch to 5k" program that takes you from doing nothing to being able to run a 5k in 8 weeks. The program has wormed its way into my brain. You do the run/walk every other day, taking a day off in between program days to let your body regroup. But I can't take a day off. On my "off days" I'm out there walking at least an hour, using ski poles to make it more challenging, looking for new routes to force myself up more hills, finding music with ever faster beats to get my feet moving faster! More! Further! Harder!! Even on my running days I'm walking an extra half hour after the run. Insanity!
And I'm loving every minute of it. THAT is the new thing. I'm not just doing it because the doctors say I must. Not because someone else thinks I should. I'm doing it because it feels so amazing to push myself and succeed. To set a crazy goal and know that I will reach and exceed it because the only one who can make it happen is me and I can trust myself (now) to do it!
But there is some evidence that something got into my brain and rearranged the wiring there, too.
Even at my most fit, just turned 23 and graduating from Navy boot camp, I hated exercising. I did what I was required to do and hated every minute of it. On graduation day we had to do I-forget-how-many pushups, jumping jacks and chin-ups followed by 200 situps and ending with a 3 mile run (running, not run-walkiing). At the end of the run I continued out the door of the gymnasium and vomited into the bushes. This body was never one that enjoyed working out. I've done it in a few phases since that horrible day in the Navy - keeping up with gym memberships for a few months at a time, doing daily aerobics classes for almost a full year - but I've never really enjoyed it. I did it those few times for reasons outside myself.
But there is something very different about the way I've been feeling this post-surgery month. Michele and I are both doing a "Couch to 5k" program that takes you from doing nothing to being able to run a 5k in 8 weeks. The program has wormed its way into my brain. You do the run/walk every other day, taking a day off in between program days to let your body regroup. But I can't take a day off. On my "off days" I'm out there walking at least an hour, using ski poles to make it more challenging, looking for new routes to force myself up more hills, finding music with ever faster beats to get my feet moving faster! More! Further! Harder!! Even on my running days I'm walking an extra half hour after the run. Insanity!
And I'm loving every minute of it. THAT is the new thing. I'm not just doing it because the doctors say I must. Not because someone else thinks I should. I'm doing it because it feels so amazing to push myself and succeed. To set a crazy goal and know that I will reach and exceed it because the only one who can make it happen is me and I can trust myself (now) to do it!