Link Parking - relationship advice
I’m not in a relationship at this point, so link parking for when I might need it in the future.
Anonymous asked:
Hi Emily. I've got a relationship question. Things in my life are going super well right now - I just got a new job that I'm excited about, I'm financially secure for the first time since "adulthood" happened, & I feel good! But recently, my boyfriend has taken some personal losses - issues with work, projects not working out, that sort of thing. How do we support each other in a reasonable way without getting hurt by the other person's opposite feelings? How do we manage being down and up?
emilyvgordon answered:
This is a very good question. It can be tough when two people who are in love are in different places, emotionally or career-wise or health-wise. The best way to tackle it is head on with as much transparency as possible.
I would say that you have a conversation, if you haven’t already, about where you are individually and as a couple. Acknowledge that you are in different places but that you still love and support each other, and refuse to let awkwardness or totally normal feelings of resentment or jealousy or pity get in the way. Commit yourself to staying a team. Then, designate two time periods per day (or every other day, or per week): one that’s entirely focused on you, and one that’s entirely focused on your partner.
While you’re doing that, don’t forget that work stuff is great but it’s not what attracted you to each other in the first place. What stuff do you like doing together that has nothing to do with your careers or money? Make sure you are still doing that stuff.
I have a husband who is incredibly successful and whose successes get nominated for Emmys, whereas sometimes I get rejected for writing for a women’s magazine’s website, so we had to get to a point where we could have fun with that. We celebrate each others’ successes and we treat all successes as large ones- and we spend a lot of time playing video games and watching movies and going on walks and remembering that we’re not in competition with each other, ever. We are solace from the good stress AND the bad stress of career stuff. And that’s true for you two also.
Also also, find a friend that can be your “brag about all the awesome stuff” friend so that you get to do that without feeling guilty. Those are good pals to have.
Source
Anonymous asked:
Hi Emily. I've got a relationship question. Things in my life are going super well right now - I just got a new job that I'm excited about, I'm financially secure for the first time since "adulthood" happened, & I feel good! But recently, my boyfriend has taken some personal losses - issues with work, projects not working out, that sort of thing. How do we support each other in a reasonable way without getting hurt by the other person's opposite feelings? How do we manage being down and up?
emilyvgordon answered:
This is a very good question. It can be tough when two people who are in love are in different places, emotionally or career-wise or health-wise. The best way to tackle it is head on with as much transparency as possible.
I would say that you have a conversation, if you haven’t already, about where you are individually and as a couple. Acknowledge that you are in different places but that you still love and support each other, and refuse to let awkwardness or totally normal feelings of resentment or jealousy or pity get in the way. Commit yourself to staying a team. Then, designate two time periods per day (or every other day, or per week): one that’s entirely focused on you, and one that’s entirely focused on your partner.
While you’re doing that, don’t forget that work stuff is great but it’s not what attracted you to each other in the first place. What stuff do you like doing together that has nothing to do with your careers or money? Make sure you are still doing that stuff.
I have a husband who is incredibly successful and whose successes get nominated for Emmys, whereas sometimes I get rejected for writing for a women’s magazine’s website, so we had to get to a point where we could have fun with that. We celebrate each others’ successes and we treat all successes as large ones- and we spend a lot of time playing video games and watching movies and going on walks and remembering that we’re not in competition with each other, ever. We are solace from the good stress AND the bad stress of career stuff. And that’s true for you two also.
Also also, find a friend that can be your “brag about all the awesome stuff” friend so that you get to do that without feeling guilty. Those are good pals to have.
Source