I don't even know..
..Honestly, I don't even know anymore. The past couple days have been, I don't even know how to explain them. I've decided that people are fake and I don't need must of the people I have in my life life because they all in one way fuck me over and thats bullshit. I hate the fact that to my face EVERYONE is nice to me but than again behind my back its like they don't even know me..so fuck it and fuck them! There are a few people and I mean few, that I can actually count on now-a-days..but thats my fault, right? Its always my fault..but I could care less...Half the people I even talk to I can honestly say aren't my friends...never have been and never will be because I am so sick of having people walk all over me. I'm done with it. But ya know, you only live once and I am not going to stay pissed off at anyone, I basically just don't care...I may forgive..but I will never forget! But there is no need for people to be nice to me when they really don't want too, I just don't get it.. PEOPLE ARE FAKE! End of story!
But anyway..to my surprise my dad called my cell phone yesterday. We had a decent conversation. But in the end no matter how nice he is I'll probably still get fucked over, but deep down the phone call meant more to me than anyone will probably ever know, so I don't even care. He told me and my mom that he was going to take my mom to court, but not for a bad thing, but for a good thing because I told him I didn't believe him.....he told me that he knows he can't take back everything he did, but he is willing to try. He is going to pay for half of my college if not more. That is why he wants to go to court, that way he knows he has too because its court ordered. And he said that Joni (Seth's Mom) would not allow him to pay that much for me so if its court ordered there is no turning back. He said that he's done alot but he wants to try and change because he didn't want to lose me out of his life forever because he loves me..Now I know that it doesn't make sense because hes made life for me a living hell...but I guess I didn't make things any easier. I told him that I'd never forget anything hes said to me and I'm not sure when or if I'll ever forgive him but it did mean alot to me that he called to wish me a happy birthday (unlike some people) and willing to pay for college...I don't know, it just meant alot to me I guess...
but its not like anyone even cares anyway....Right?
What else, what else? Oh, my cousin Chad is going to have a baby. I'm excited. Which I don't really like his girlfriend Stacey but than again I don't really know her either..its just they have only been together for a couple months..but still. I love Chad and he'd make a wonderful dad and I'm so happy for him!
Did I ever mention I can't wait to go to college..To get away from everyone and everything..I think I have...but I seriously can't wait. I got my apartment info in the mail and Heather and I can go pick out our apartment anytime now...also, we can meet our new roomates. Its exciting..I can't fucking wait. I'm just in this shitty mood because I'm sick of people acting like they care...this way I can just get out of here and forget about it.
This entry is so random but I don't even care...My mind is so confusing right now, and I don't know what to do..but what else is new. But oh well.
But..I'm just that person that people go to whenever no one else is around or when they want something....thats all I'll ever be too...
Isn't life and everyone in it so fucking wonderful!!
But anyway..to my surprise my dad called my cell phone yesterday. We had a decent conversation. But in the end no matter how nice he is I'll probably still get fucked over, but deep down the phone call meant more to me than anyone will probably ever know, so I don't even care. He told me and my mom that he was going to take my mom to court, but not for a bad thing, but for a good thing because I told him I didn't believe him.....he told me that he knows he can't take back everything he did, but he is willing to try. He is going to pay for half of my college if not more. That is why he wants to go to court, that way he knows he has too because its court ordered. And he said that Joni (Seth's Mom) would not allow him to pay that much for me so if its court ordered there is no turning back. He said that he's done alot but he wants to try and change because he didn't want to lose me out of his life forever because he loves me..Now I know that it doesn't make sense because hes made life for me a living hell...but I guess I didn't make things any easier. I told him that I'd never forget anything hes said to me and I'm not sure when or if I'll ever forgive him but it did mean alot to me that he called to wish me a happy birthday (unlike some people) and willing to pay for college...I don't know, it just meant alot to me I guess...
but its not like anyone even cares anyway....Right?
What else, what else? Oh, my cousin Chad is going to have a baby. I'm excited. Which I don't really like his girlfriend Stacey but than again I don't really know her either..its just they have only been together for a couple months..but still. I love Chad and he'd make a wonderful dad and I'm so happy for him!
Did I ever mention I can't wait to go to college..To get away from everyone and everything..I think I have...but I seriously can't wait. I got my apartment info in the mail and Heather and I can go pick out our apartment anytime now...also, we can meet our new roomates. Its exciting..I can't fucking wait. I'm just in this shitty mood because I'm sick of people acting like they care...this way I can just get out of here and forget about it.
This entry is so random but I don't even care...My mind is so confusing right now, and I don't know what to do..but what else is new. But oh well.
But..I'm just that person that people go to whenever no one else is around or when they want something....thats all I'll ever be too...
Isn't life and everyone in it so fucking wonderful!!