Dr Cannabis for President
I just got back from my lunch break during which I went to my district polling location and (as many of my conservative friends would say) wasted my vote. I know voting for third party candidates is considered a fringe thing to do, but I would rather vote on principle than tow a fictional party line. On many of the State and local amendments and referendums I voted no. I only voted yes on anything that proposed repealing obsolete legislation. I want a government that does less.
During the course of this political season a local nut that refers to himself as Dr. Cannabis was driving around town in his white Subaru. This car was decorated with paintings of marijuana leaves and green lettering which read “Dr. Cannabis for President 2008”. He’d wave to me from time to time and I’d wave back. He seemed like a nice enough fellow; an aging pothead with a bit of time on his hands. After voting today it occurred to me that Dr. Cannabis was not on the ballot and I wondered if he would still be driving around in his potmobile after the election is over. He might make a decent write-in candidate come to think of it.
When I hear the grandiose promises made by political candidates from both of the major parties I can’t help but think “Thanks, but no thanks.” I don’t want handouts, free health care, federal subsidies, or a complimentary pony ride. I would prefer to be left alone. I would prefer to keep Uncle Sam out of my life as much as possible. I would prefer to keep what I earn and maybe use it to buy a dime bag so I could smoke out with Dr. Cannabis without harassment or prosecution.
I am by no means a pothead, but I’m beginning to think a pothead might be the ideal candidate for President. My rationale for this is that potheads are generally kind of lazy. Why would I want a lazy President? A type-A overachieving president is likely to put forth measures, proposals, and schemes to ensure his or her legacy and potential re-election. Unfortunately these measures, proposals, and schemes are usually expensive, intrusive, and unconstitutional. I would rather have a lazy son of a bitch in the Oval Office and a pothead would fit the bill nicely.
It’s likely that a pothead wouldn’t attend $10,000 per-plate state dinners. He wouldn’t want to dress up for it and he’d be just as happy with a box of Pop Tarts and a bag of Funyuns. That would save money. He could curb the spending habits of congress by using a rubber stamp with the word “VETO” on it instead of going to the bother of signing his name to bad, pork-laden legislation. Instead of flying all over the world in Air Force One, he’d stay put in the White House playing X-Box in the Lincoln bedroom. That would save even more money on transportation and security. Come to think of it, having a pothead as president would save this country a ton of money. We wouldn’t go to war under that administration. A pothead most likely wouldn’t get angry enough to declare war. Most importantly however, a pothead president would do one thing no other president in recent history has done. He’d leave us alone.
During the course of this political season a local nut that refers to himself as Dr. Cannabis was driving around town in his white Subaru. This car was decorated with paintings of marijuana leaves and green lettering which read “Dr. Cannabis for President 2008”. He’d wave to me from time to time and I’d wave back. He seemed like a nice enough fellow; an aging pothead with a bit of time on his hands. After voting today it occurred to me that Dr. Cannabis was not on the ballot and I wondered if he would still be driving around in his potmobile after the election is over. He might make a decent write-in candidate come to think of it.
When I hear the grandiose promises made by political candidates from both of the major parties I can’t help but think “Thanks, but no thanks.” I don’t want handouts, free health care, federal subsidies, or a complimentary pony ride. I would prefer to be left alone. I would prefer to keep Uncle Sam out of my life as much as possible. I would prefer to keep what I earn and maybe use it to buy a dime bag so I could smoke out with Dr. Cannabis without harassment or prosecution.
I am by no means a pothead, but I’m beginning to think a pothead might be the ideal candidate for President. My rationale for this is that potheads are generally kind of lazy. Why would I want a lazy President? A type-A overachieving president is likely to put forth measures, proposals, and schemes to ensure his or her legacy and potential re-election. Unfortunately these measures, proposals, and schemes are usually expensive, intrusive, and unconstitutional. I would rather have a lazy son of a bitch in the Oval Office and a pothead would fit the bill nicely.
It’s likely that a pothead wouldn’t attend $10,000 per-plate state dinners. He wouldn’t want to dress up for it and he’d be just as happy with a box of Pop Tarts and a bag of Funyuns. That would save money. He could curb the spending habits of congress by using a rubber stamp with the word “VETO” on it instead of going to the bother of signing his name to bad, pork-laden legislation. Instead of flying all over the world in Air Force One, he’d stay put in the White House playing X-Box in the Lincoln bedroom. That would save even more money on transportation and security. Come to think of it, having a pothead as president would save this country a ton of money. We wouldn’t go to war under that administration. A pothead most likely wouldn’t get angry enough to declare war. Most importantly however, a pothead president would do one thing no other president in recent history has done. He’d leave us alone.