Home again
Well, It's official, I bear the title of college dropout. I bear it proudly though.
Drove there, drove back. 3000 miles to self discovery. I had a lot of time to do a lot of thinking. About friends, life, love, and myself.
On love, I have discovered that I'll be okay when he moves on. That I won't stop loving him, but will do my best to just be his friend. It was a painful realization, but he needs to lead his life and that has taken him far away from me. I watched him fall asleep via skype tonight. He looked peaceful, for once. I wish I was there with him, I know he needs a friend. But this time, he's right. I can't always come to his rescue.
On friends, I've discovered that I have the most amazing ones. I've taken them for granted on occasion, but they are family to me. I don't know how to explain that. When I was in Florida, I realized that the friends I have are so very unique, and that to fit in with the group I had come across, I had to change myself. I wasn't willing to wear a mask to be accepted. They were nice, but it was all on the surface.
On life, I learned that it's time to lead my own. Instead of following what I am told I need to do in life, I'm setting my own goals and doing what works for me. "doing me" as Dan put it. For once, my life is in my own hands. It's terrifying but exhilarating. College isn't completely out of my life. Just...for now, its not where I want to or need to be. And that's okay. I'm going to work my butt off at papa gino's, save up money, then go live somewhere else. I don't know where yet. Just...somewhere. =)
It's good to be home.
Drove there, drove back. 3000 miles to self discovery. I had a lot of time to do a lot of thinking. About friends, life, love, and myself.
On love, I have discovered that I'll be okay when he moves on. That I won't stop loving him, but will do my best to just be his friend. It was a painful realization, but he needs to lead his life and that has taken him far away from me. I watched him fall asleep via skype tonight. He looked peaceful, for once. I wish I was there with him, I know he needs a friend. But this time, he's right. I can't always come to his rescue.
On friends, I've discovered that I have the most amazing ones. I've taken them for granted on occasion, but they are family to me. I don't know how to explain that. When I was in Florida, I realized that the friends I have are so very unique, and that to fit in with the group I had come across, I had to change myself. I wasn't willing to wear a mask to be accepted. They were nice, but it was all on the surface.
On life, I learned that it's time to lead my own. Instead of following what I am told I need to do in life, I'm setting my own goals and doing what works for me. "doing me" as Dan put it. For once, my life is in my own hands. It's terrifying but exhilarating. College isn't completely out of my life. Just...for now, its not where I want to or need to be. And that's okay. I'm going to work my butt off at papa gino's, save up money, then go live somewhere else. I don't know where yet. Just...somewhere. =)
It's good to be home.