Faraway, But So Close (Adam/Kris, misc pairings) Rated: R
Title: Faraway, But So Close (Chapter Thirteen)
Author: xrazorbladesky and georgeegurl
Pairings/Character(s): Adam/Kris, Adam/Gabriel, Adam/Tommy.
Warnings:Domestic violence, self-injury, character death(main character), suicide, Supernatural beings, major depression, alcoholism.(Highlight to read)
Rating: R
Words: 2,434
Summary: Tommy wakes up at Kris' house.
Notes: Please read with care! Some warnings happen off-screen, but it doesn’t hurt to warn for them anyways.
May 17th, 2013
Useless. That’s how he felt. WIthout a doubt useless. No matter how much he tried to get out of the funk he had been in there was just nothing that would do it. It was hard. Things just seemed to get worse and worse as the days progressed. Who knew it was even possible that it could. He thought he had hit the bottom of the tank, sinking almost to the bottom. It went deeper. Even more deeper.
The last few days hadn’t been the easiest. Down right...He took a deep breath. Stress. That’s all that he felt when that breath was taken. Tensions made his whole body hurt and just having to stand up on stage was exercise all on it’s own. Hard strenuous exercise. He was supposed to get up on stage and give everyone who paid money to see him a great show. Dancing and talking to them was all apart of the whole experience. Letting his body moved to the music. He remembered a time where that music was everything to him. When it gave him a release. Times where he didn’t have to think. Where it was a distraction. Just closing his eyes and letting the music take him was enough for the stress to go away. But the more he sang now, the more that that stress continued to pile up.
It didn’t work. Nothing seemed to work...well, there was something. That something...that something did so much for him. It did somehow relieve everything. But it was a temporary solution to problems. Once he’d run that razor over his skin, once that blood dried over and left him with scars, he’d still feel the same as he did. He knew that because it hadn’t worked. He had tried and still he felt like shit.
Drinking was probably not the best idea but he found himself doing it anyway. It was another temporary solution but honestly, he didn’t care i was something that got his mind off of everything. It was tequila, what could he say? He loved the stuff. When he had sat down at the bar of a club (he didn’t even know where the heck they were anymore) he leaned over looking at the contents behind the bar. A smile came to his lips as the bartender came over. A blonde girl with eyeliner as dark as could be on her eyes. “What can I get for you?” She asked.
“Hm. Are you on the list of things that I can order?”
She gave a laugh. “I’m sorry to disappoint you but -”
“A sea breeze would be great, beautiful.”
“Coming right up,” She walked away and that was when Adam stood up and reached forward for that bottle of tequila just sitting there on the counter. Quickly, he moved it so his jacket covered over it then without even waiting around for the drink he had order, he walked away.
Adam didn’t know how but he ended up on the roof of the club, staring out over the city. Whatever city they were in. He didn’t even know what day it was let alone what month it was. The tour had just started and he felt worn out, he wanted to sleep for days. But he couldn’t show weakness. Any sign that he was slipping would give the press something to talk about.
He tipped the bottle back, taking a long drink of tequila. It burned his throat going down, but it was a good burn, he could feel the alcohol doing it’s job. Making him warm and calm.
“Adam?” A voice called from behind him. Adam turned around slowly to find Tommy standing there. He didn’t remember Tommy coming out with them. He’d already been pretty wasted when they left the hotel.
“What are you doing here, baby?” He asked.
“Ash called,” Tommy said, taking a few steps closer to him. “Said she was worried about you. I am too, to be honest.”
“There’s nothing wrong with me.” Adam said, taking another drink. He held out the bottle, the liquid sloshing around. “Want a drink? I know you’re more of jack daniels guy, but it’s really good.”
Tommy shook his head. “No, I don’t. I think you should stop.”
He took a few more steps forward and tried reaching for the bottle but tore his hand away. “C’mon baby, let’s just go back to the hotel...We can watch bad movies and cuddle. Doesn’t that sound nice?” Tommy felt like he was talking to a toddler, but if it was going to work he’d do anything.
Adam smiled softly. He dropped the tequila bottle to the ground and took the remaining steps to Tommy and connected their lips. It earned him a grunted and Tommy pushed away from him. “Nu-uh. You have a....partner.” Tommy reminded him.
“Yeah.” Adam replied.
“You believe in monogamy, remember? No way am I going to be the person that you fuck that up over.”
“Oh baby,” Adam said, his hand running through Tommy’s hair and Tommy shivered. “We - We have an agreement. Just for the tour.”
Tommy didn’t know about that. He didn’t really feel so good about it, but he missed kissing Adam. And when Adam kissed him again, his arms went around Adam’s neck as he was lifted up and his legs twisted around Adam’s torso. His back was pressed against the cold metal door and Adam’s hands were removing his shirt. Really, they shouldn’t be doing this. Not outside. Anyone could see them. But to be perfectly honest, Tommy didn’t care. Not with Adam’s hands undoing his pants and his mouth on Tommy’s neck.
May 1st, 2016 Part two
Kris had woke with in the morning to the sun coming in and shining through the curtains. It was almost blinding, so much that it made his eyes flutter back closed. The night had been long. It took a long time to actually sleep after he had put his phone away. Just laying there, looking up at the ceiling made him somewhat anxious to a point. Wanting to get to sleep and just hoping that moment where his eyes would just close. Finally it had come to him. After about an hour or so, he had finally relaxed enough to sleep.
He moved a little on the bed only to hit something rough. What the...his eyes opened. Just in front of him he saw blonde hair. Tommy. His eyes moved down and realized that his arms had been wrapped around him. Tommy must have come into his room sometime during the night. Maybe he had a nightmare.
There was a stir. Tommy had slowly moved and curled up a little on the bed. His hands going under his head, making a little ‘hmm’ noise. A nightmare would have gotten him into the room. If Tommy had had one then he would probably want to be close to someone else. The guest room was right next to the master bedroom, just a little second or so walk. Then all he had to do from there was crawl onto the bed. Easy.
Tommy turned over, his eyes were still closed and his arms folded across him. Kris looked at him. He kind of looked somewhat peaceful but behind those eyelids who knew how he felt. Shifting his weight on the bed, Kris sat up a bit. That was when Tommy’s eyes jolted open. For a second, Tommy just stared at him but then he basically sprung off of the bed.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Tommy asked. “Get out of my fucking bed, my fucking house. Out!”
Kris stared at him before moving off of the bed. “Tommy, you’re in my house.”
“No I am not! Why would I be in your fucking house? Get the hell out. You’re such a creeper. Did you do something to me while I was sleeping?”
“What? No. What the heck would I have done to you?”
“Who the hell knows? You probably have a lot of ideas inside of that head of yours.”
“Yeah,” Kris nodded, a laugh coming from his lips. It was a bit sarcastic. “I’m going to pull your fucking pants down and just go at it while you’re sleeping. You’d probably wake up with one hell of a boner.”
“Whatever. Why don’t you just stay away from me from now on? I really don’t want anything to do with you anyway. The only reason why I really ever talked to you...” Tommy shook his head and it looked like he was thinking about something in his head that gave him some conflict. Kris knew exactly what he had been trying to get at.
“The only reason you ever talked to me was be-”
“Because...” He took a deep breath, composing himself and going emotionless moments later. His head turned so he was looking Kris straight in the eye. “The only reason why I have even thought about talking to you was because of Adam. He just told me to give you a chance but honestly? Honestly I never fucking liked you. If you ask me, I rather you have died instead of him. I wouldn’t be affected by that one bit. But you know what? Adam would have been. Because you have no fucking idea how in love with you he was. And it wasn’t like you fucking cared. I kept telling him that he should get over you. That you weren’t worth it, but he never fucking listened to me. And you? You never told him that you were questioning yourself. And if he heard it from someone else, he did hear it from many people, he didn’t believe it.”
“Tommy, what the fuck a -”
“He would have left the piece of shit for you, you know! He loved Gabriel, I don’t doubt that, but why do you think that him and Sauli didn’t work out? Because he was too fucking in love with you. It wasn’t because he was never home like they said. God, you’re so stupid.”
Kris stared at him. He hadn’t heard Tommy say anything in a long time. At least, not that much. And what was he so angry about? That Adam and him couldn’t work it out? That he needed time just like everyone else? Or that he was forced to try and make nice, he didn’t understand.
“Beside the fact that it’s none of your business, even if I would have told him, he’d been with Gabriel for so long....what would have been the point?”
Tommy rolled his eyes. “He would have dropped everything for you. He would have quit making music to be with you. Anything to be happy.”
“He was happy....”
“Oh, please. In the past year, look at any picture from the last year and tell me he was happy. Honestly happy.” Tommy shook his head. He started to turn toward the doorway. “I don’t have time for this. Just stop talking to me. No matter what Brad say, just leave me the fuck alone.”
May 20th, 2013
BREAKING NEWS: ADAM LAMBERT’S SEX TAPE WITH BAND MEMBER
Kicking off a new tour, Adam Lambert might be breaking under pressure. After learning the ropes with his first tour, Glamnation, Lambert told TMZ months ago that he had been ready to start the next. Lambert was more than ready to get back into onto that stage. He had promised his fans that he was back and better than ever. That certainly is not the case.
Pretty soon he might be trading in his microphone. After being runner up on Fox’s hit TV show, American Idol, Lambert was completely out there. No matter what he did, he was keeping his fans on their toes. But it wasn’t just his fans that seemed to be on their toes. Or maybe their toes were curling. But it was America.
The performance at the AMA’s was the most shocking of the night. Kissing his band mate Tommy Joe Ratliff, Lambert basically gave a America a big fuck you. The kiss was talked about for months. And then later died down. But there was something else behind that kiss. Something more.
Recently, TMZ has come in possession of a tape. What kind of tape, you may ask. One that would make your eyes grow wide. We can’t exactly show you the tape, but we can assure you that there was more than kissing going on.
Ratliff was seen pulling Lambert from a ledge of a Miami nightclub.
Stay tuned.
Tommy’s eyes read over the article. They were glued to the screen. They were fucked, really fucked. Bad reports for this tour had been coming out left and right ever since it started. Adam’s freak out on stage and cancelling shows had been bad enough, but this? What was everyone going to think? Sure some fans were going excited that they had hooked up, but others would be angry that Adam had cheated on Gabriel. After all that talk about being monogamous....this was horrible. And how had the tape gotten out with Adam’s lawyers not fighting it? And where had it come from? There had been no one on that roof with them.
He closed the lid of his laptop and Adam’s manager walked in. She didn’t look too happy. Obviously, she’d seen the article. “So, would you like to explain?”
“I don’t know what I could say to make it better, really.”
“On the roof of a public place, really? What were you thinking?” She said, crossing her arms across her chest. “Things are going bad enough on this tour, we really don’t need this.”
“Hey, why don’t you talk to Adam about this, I’m not the only guilty party.” Tommy said.
“I know that. I just found you first. You know, why don’t you tell him? Go find Adam and tell him your sex tape leaked and he’s going to have to explain this to everyone. Including his partner, because I’m done taking care this.” She stormed out of the room, shutting the door with a loud bang.
Author: xrazorbladesky and georgeegurl
Pairings/Character(s): Adam/Kris, Adam/Gabriel, Adam/Tommy.
Warnings:Domestic violence, self-injury, character death(main character), suicide, Supernatural beings, major depression, alcoholism.(Highlight to read)
Rating: R
Words: 2,434
Summary: Tommy wakes up at Kris' house.
Notes: Please read with care! Some warnings happen off-screen, but it doesn’t hurt to warn for them anyways.
May 17th, 2013
Useless. That’s how he felt. WIthout a doubt useless. No matter how much he tried to get out of the funk he had been in there was just nothing that would do it. It was hard. Things just seemed to get worse and worse as the days progressed. Who knew it was even possible that it could. He thought he had hit the bottom of the tank, sinking almost to the bottom. It went deeper. Even more deeper.
The last few days hadn’t been the easiest. Down right...He took a deep breath. Stress. That’s all that he felt when that breath was taken. Tensions made his whole body hurt and just having to stand up on stage was exercise all on it’s own. Hard strenuous exercise. He was supposed to get up on stage and give everyone who paid money to see him a great show. Dancing and talking to them was all apart of the whole experience. Letting his body moved to the music. He remembered a time where that music was everything to him. When it gave him a release. Times where he didn’t have to think. Where it was a distraction. Just closing his eyes and letting the music take him was enough for the stress to go away. But the more he sang now, the more that that stress continued to pile up.
It didn’t work. Nothing seemed to work...well, there was something. That something...that something did so much for him. It did somehow relieve everything. But it was a temporary solution to problems. Once he’d run that razor over his skin, once that blood dried over and left him with scars, he’d still feel the same as he did. He knew that because it hadn’t worked. He had tried and still he felt like shit.
Drinking was probably not the best idea but he found himself doing it anyway. It was another temporary solution but honestly, he didn’t care i was something that got his mind off of everything. It was tequila, what could he say? He loved the stuff. When he had sat down at the bar of a club (he didn’t even know where the heck they were anymore) he leaned over looking at the contents behind the bar. A smile came to his lips as the bartender came over. A blonde girl with eyeliner as dark as could be on her eyes. “What can I get for you?” She asked.
“Hm. Are you on the list of things that I can order?”
She gave a laugh. “I’m sorry to disappoint you but -”
“A sea breeze would be great, beautiful.”
“Coming right up,” She walked away and that was when Adam stood up and reached forward for that bottle of tequila just sitting there on the counter. Quickly, he moved it so his jacket covered over it then without even waiting around for the drink he had order, he walked away.
Adam didn’t know how but he ended up on the roof of the club, staring out over the city. Whatever city they were in. He didn’t even know what day it was let alone what month it was. The tour had just started and he felt worn out, he wanted to sleep for days. But he couldn’t show weakness. Any sign that he was slipping would give the press something to talk about.
He tipped the bottle back, taking a long drink of tequila. It burned his throat going down, but it was a good burn, he could feel the alcohol doing it’s job. Making him warm and calm.
“Adam?” A voice called from behind him. Adam turned around slowly to find Tommy standing there. He didn’t remember Tommy coming out with them. He’d already been pretty wasted when they left the hotel.
“What are you doing here, baby?” He asked.
“Ash called,” Tommy said, taking a few steps closer to him. “Said she was worried about you. I am too, to be honest.”
“There’s nothing wrong with me.” Adam said, taking another drink. He held out the bottle, the liquid sloshing around. “Want a drink? I know you’re more of jack daniels guy, but it’s really good.”
Tommy shook his head. “No, I don’t. I think you should stop.”
He took a few more steps forward and tried reaching for the bottle but tore his hand away. “C’mon baby, let’s just go back to the hotel...We can watch bad movies and cuddle. Doesn’t that sound nice?” Tommy felt like he was talking to a toddler, but if it was going to work he’d do anything.
Adam smiled softly. He dropped the tequila bottle to the ground and took the remaining steps to Tommy and connected their lips. It earned him a grunted and Tommy pushed away from him. “Nu-uh. You have a....partner.” Tommy reminded him.
“Yeah.” Adam replied.
“You believe in monogamy, remember? No way am I going to be the person that you fuck that up over.”
“Oh baby,” Adam said, his hand running through Tommy’s hair and Tommy shivered. “We - We have an agreement. Just for the tour.”
Tommy didn’t know about that. He didn’t really feel so good about it, but he missed kissing Adam. And when Adam kissed him again, his arms went around Adam’s neck as he was lifted up and his legs twisted around Adam’s torso. His back was pressed against the cold metal door and Adam’s hands were removing his shirt. Really, they shouldn’t be doing this. Not outside. Anyone could see them. But to be perfectly honest, Tommy didn’t care. Not with Adam’s hands undoing his pants and his mouth on Tommy’s neck.
May 1st, 2016 Part two
Kris had woke with in the morning to the sun coming in and shining through the curtains. It was almost blinding, so much that it made his eyes flutter back closed. The night had been long. It took a long time to actually sleep after he had put his phone away. Just laying there, looking up at the ceiling made him somewhat anxious to a point. Wanting to get to sleep and just hoping that moment where his eyes would just close. Finally it had come to him. After about an hour or so, he had finally relaxed enough to sleep.
He moved a little on the bed only to hit something rough. What the...his eyes opened. Just in front of him he saw blonde hair. Tommy. His eyes moved down and realized that his arms had been wrapped around him. Tommy must have come into his room sometime during the night. Maybe he had a nightmare.
There was a stir. Tommy had slowly moved and curled up a little on the bed. His hands going under his head, making a little ‘hmm’ noise. A nightmare would have gotten him into the room. If Tommy had had one then he would probably want to be close to someone else. The guest room was right next to the master bedroom, just a little second or so walk. Then all he had to do from there was crawl onto the bed. Easy.
Tommy turned over, his eyes were still closed and his arms folded across him. Kris looked at him. He kind of looked somewhat peaceful but behind those eyelids who knew how he felt. Shifting his weight on the bed, Kris sat up a bit. That was when Tommy’s eyes jolted open. For a second, Tommy just stared at him but then he basically sprung off of the bed.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Tommy asked. “Get out of my fucking bed, my fucking house. Out!”
Kris stared at him before moving off of the bed. “Tommy, you’re in my house.”
“No I am not! Why would I be in your fucking house? Get the hell out. You’re such a creeper. Did you do something to me while I was sleeping?”
“What? No. What the heck would I have done to you?”
“Who the hell knows? You probably have a lot of ideas inside of that head of yours.”
“Yeah,” Kris nodded, a laugh coming from his lips. It was a bit sarcastic. “I’m going to pull your fucking pants down and just go at it while you’re sleeping. You’d probably wake up with one hell of a boner.”
“Whatever. Why don’t you just stay away from me from now on? I really don’t want anything to do with you anyway. The only reason why I really ever talked to you...” Tommy shook his head and it looked like he was thinking about something in his head that gave him some conflict. Kris knew exactly what he had been trying to get at.
“The only reason you ever talked to me was be-”
“Because...” He took a deep breath, composing himself and going emotionless moments later. His head turned so he was looking Kris straight in the eye. “The only reason why I have even thought about talking to you was because of Adam. He just told me to give you a chance but honestly? Honestly I never fucking liked you. If you ask me, I rather you have died instead of him. I wouldn’t be affected by that one bit. But you know what? Adam would have been. Because you have no fucking idea how in love with you he was. And it wasn’t like you fucking cared. I kept telling him that he should get over you. That you weren’t worth it, but he never fucking listened to me. And you? You never told him that you were questioning yourself. And if he heard it from someone else, he did hear it from many people, he didn’t believe it.”
“Tommy, what the fuck a -”
“He would have left the piece of shit for you, you know! He loved Gabriel, I don’t doubt that, but why do you think that him and Sauli didn’t work out? Because he was too fucking in love with you. It wasn’t because he was never home like they said. God, you’re so stupid.”
Kris stared at him. He hadn’t heard Tommy say anything in a long time. At least, not that much. And what was he so angry about? That Adam and him couldn’t work it out? That he needed time just like everyone else? Or that he was forced to try and make nice, he didn’t understand.
“Beside the fact that it’s none of your business, even if I would have told him, he’d been with Gabriel for so long....what would have been the point?”
Tommy rolled his eyes. “He would have dropped everything for you. He would have quit making music to be with you. Anything to be happy.”
“He was happy....”
“Oh, please. In the past year, look at any picture from the last year and tell me he was happy. Honestly happy.” Tommy shook his head. He started to turn toward the doorway. “I don’t have time for this. Just stop talking to me. No matter what Brad say, just leave me the fuck alone.”
May 20th, 2013
BREAKING NEWS: ADAM LAMBERT’S SEX TAPE WITH BAND MEMBER
Kicking off a new tour, Adam Lambert might be breaking under pressure. After learning the ropes with his first tour, Glamnation, Lambert told TMZ months ago that he had been ready to start the next. Lambert was more than ready to get back into onto that stage. He had promised his fans that he was back and better than ever. That certainly is not the case.
Pretty soon he might be trading in his microphone. After being runner up on Fox’s hit TV show, American Idol, Lambert was completely out there. No matter what he did, he was keeping his fans on their toes. But it wasn’t just his fans that seemed to be on their toes. Or maybe their toes were curling. But it was America.
The performance at the AMA’s was the most shocking of the night. Kissing his band mate Tommy Joe Ratliff, Lambert basically gave a America a big fuck you. The kiss was talked about for months. And then later died down. But there was something else behind that kiss. Something more.
Recently, TMZ has come in possession of a tape. What kind of tape, you may ask. One that would make your eyes grow wide. We can’t exactly show you the tape, but we can assure you that there was more than kissing going on.
Ratliff was seen pulling Lambert from a ledge of a Miami nightclub.
Stay tuned.
Tommy’s eyes read over the article. They were glued to the screen. They were fucked, really fucked. Bad reports for this tour had been coming out left and right ever since it started. Adam’s freak out on stage and cancelling shows had been bad enough, but this? What was everyone going to think? Sure some fans were going excited that they had hooked up, but others would be angry that Adam had cheated on Gabriel. After all that talk about being monogamous....this was horrible. And how had the tape gotten out with Adam’s lawyers not fighting it? And where had it come from? There had been no one on that roof with them.
He closed the lid of his laptop and Adam’s manager walked in. She didn’t look too happy. Obviously, she’d seen the article. “So, would you like to explain?”
“I don’t know what I could say to make it better, really.”
“On the roof of a public place, really? What were you thinking?” She said, crossing her arms across her chest. “Things are going bad enough on this tour, we really don’t need this.”
“Hey, why don’t you talk to Adam about this, I’m not the only guilty party.” Tommy said.
“I know that. I just found you first. You know, why don’t you tell him? Go find Adam and tell him your sex tape leaked and he’s going to have to explain this to everyone. Including his partner, because I’m done taking care this.” She stormed out of the room, shutting the door with a loud bang.