hi
I don't get why people intentionally keep things from me.
I first noticed it in high school, when my cousin (who was like a sister to me) came to my school after I pretty much invited her. She knew my best friend for years before that, so I thought great, we could all be like BFF's. Well getting to the point, they started having these "wink-wink nudge-nudge" jokes without me. Well it wasn't really jokes, it was like one of them would say something then they'd look at eachother and whisper/laugh a bit, avoiding me. I was like wtf? From that moment on I decided that fine, if people didn't want to tell me about something, I wouldn't intrude, I'd just let them go on thinking I didn't know. But what pisses me off is that people either think that a) I'm not relevant enough to know things that are going on within my friends/family; or b) I have some kind of cognitive difficulty and don't understand when they're talking around me.
What happened recently that got me was that yesterday, my mom called my brother into her room to tell him that my cousin (same one) is planning her wedding in 2 years, and that they already have the date set and that it's gonna be in the Dominican Rep, and blah blah, and they were laughing and stuff because my Cous had already made so many big plans and had told everyone. Sooo...why isn't anyone telling me? I DON'T UNDERSTAND. Do they not want me to know? Do they think I can't hear?? What the hell, man. Seriously.
I think it's because I'm quiet, my family and friends (well not friends now, there aren't any) think I have some understanding issues. When in fact being quiet makes me even more aware of what's going on around me. Less talking, more listening, more getting a feel for people's gestures and knowing how the "air" around people feels, be it tense, secretive, etc.. People, I know what's going on.
In related needing-to-get-away-from-my-family news, maybe it's because it's Canada Day and I'm feeling patriotic, but I'm planning my escape to another province rather than leaving and going to ~Europe~. Fuck Europe. It's too expensive, and why should I waste my hard earned Canadian dollars to convert them over to Euros and have a third of my money disappear into the abyss of currency exchange? No. The new plan is to move to either metro Vancouver or Montreal. I know both cities are perhaps even more expensive than T.O. but at least if it doesn't work out I can come back easily enough. Going to Europe it's not even guaranteed that I get a decent job. My best friend and her buddies all got cushy gigs at the Canadian Embassy, with offices and everything. She has enough to rent a room and go on all kinds of day trips. Me? I go, might find a job at a restaurant paying minimum wage, or even a MacDo, having to live with 4 roommates in a place that doesn't even have a toilet. Or I can't even find a job, and I have to come back to Canada way early, and once you return from your visa you can NEVER GET ANOTHER ONE EVER AGAIN. So forget that. Canada, baby. WOOO!! OHHH CANADA, OUR TRUE NORTH STRONG AND FREE...or however the song goes.
First step though, get a job. Which isn't happening right now on account of THERE ARE NO FREAKING JOBS. *sob* I thought I had a chance yesterday, I was browsing eluta or simplyhired or one of those sites, and found out that the post office at the drugstore by my house is hiring. WHAT??! It's like 15 minutes away walking, so I'd be able to work like the entire day. And I'll bet they pay a bit more than minimum, too. Even min would be great, I don't even care. It would be perfect. So I went for a stroll to the drugstore (was feeling cooped up at home anyway, so it was a good excuse to get out). I'm always there sending books out for BookMooch, and I always have a million questions, so I don't know if I'm annoying or whatever. Usually the same woman is there every time except for this one time where there was this youngish Asian guy, and I wanted to ask him about the job rather than the lady, but voila, she was there, so I had to ask her. She said they're not even hiring until September. WHYYYYYY?? She took my resume anyway, we'll see if anyone ever reads it. On top of that I've sent a few other resume/cover letters, to no avail. I'm way too scared to to the cold calling thing so that's out of the question. How am I supposed to find a "real" job if no one is hiring people who don't have experience.
Anyway, what else is new? Especially nowadays with the economy or whatever.
So yeah what else...well Swimming is going alright. I figured out the tampon thing, so I won't be missing any more classes. I got 2(!) new DS games - Zelda Phantom Hourglass, and Pokemon HeartGold. So I'm super busy with that plus the job searching, lol. And now it's the researching for Vancouver and Montreal.
Oh, I finally made an appointment with the doctor about my creaky ankle (did I ever mention it here? I don't know). What happened was, after swimming on Tuesday, my ankle started feeling uncomfortable. When I got home I palpated my good side then the weird side (one thing I remember from Kine), noticed that it felt like fluid was building up in my ankle. It got worse as the day went on, and at the end of the day I noticed a lot of bruising on my shin. I do tend to bump into things a lot, but I didn't remember getting hurt that day. The only thing it could have possibly been was that I bumped my leg as I was getting out of the pool. But there was a fresh red bruise farther up that was suspicious. So I called the doctor and made an appointment for this Friday. Of course the fluid drained out the next morning, so my doc will probably think I'm crazy when I tell her what happened. Argh.
And now we have visitors, so I'm sure I'll be required to emerge from my comfy position very soon.
I first noticed it in high school, when my cousin (who was like a sister to me) came to my school after I pretty much invited her. She knew my best friend for years before that, so I thought great, we could all be like BFF's. Well getting to the point, they started having these "wink-wink nudge-nudge" jokes without me. Well it wasn't really jokes, it was like one of them would say something then they'd look at eachother and whisper/laugh a bit, avoiding me. I was like wtf? From that moment on I decided that fine, if people didn't want to tell me about something, I wouldn't intrude, I'd just let them go on thinking I didn't know. But what pisses me off is that people either think that a) I'm not relevant enough to know things that are going on within my friends/family; or b) I have some kind of cognitive difficulty and don't understand when they're talking around me.
What happened recently that got me was that yesterday, my mom called my brother into her room to tell him that my cousin (same one) is planning her wedding in 2 years, and that they already have the date set and that it's gonna be in the Dominican Rep, and blah blah, and they were laughing and stuff because my Cous had already made so many big plans and had told everyone. Sooo...why isn't anyone telling me? I DON'T UNDERSTAND. Do they not want me to know? Do they think I can't hear?? What the hell, man. Seriously.
I think it's because I'm quiet, my family and friends (well not friends now, there aren't any) think I have some understanding issues. When in fact being quiet makes me even more aware of what's going on around me. Less talking, more listening, more getting a feel for people's gestures and knowing how the "air" around people feels, be it tense, secretive, etc.. People, I know what's going on.
In related needing-to-get-away-from-my-family news, maybe it's because it's Canada Day and I'm feeling patriotic, but I'm planning my escape to another province rather than leaving and going to ~Europe~. Fuck Europe. It's too expensive, and why should I waste my hard earned Canadian dollars to convert them over to Euros and have a third of my money disappear into the abyss of currency exchange? No. The new plan is to move to either metro Vancouver or Montreal. I know both cities are perhaps even more expensive than T.O. but at least if it doesn't work out I can come back easily enough. Going to Europe it's not even guaranteed that I get a decent job. My best friend and her buddies all got cushy gigs at the Canadian Embassy, with offices and everything. She has enough to rent a room and go on all kinds of day trips. Me? I go, might find a job at a restaurant paying minimum wage, or even a MacDo, having to live with 4 roommates in a place that doesn't even have a toilet. Or I can't even find a job, and I have to come back to Canada way early, and once you return from your visa you can NEVER GET ANOTHER ONE EVER AGAIN. So forget that. Canada, baby. WOOO!! OHHH CANADA, OUR TRUE NORTH STRONG AND FREE...or however the song goes.
First step though, get a job. Which isn't happening right now on account of THERE ARE NO FREAKING JOBS. *sob* I thought I had a chance yesterday, I was browsing eluta or simplyhired or one of those sites, and found out that the post office at the drugstore by my house is hiring. WHAT??! It's like 15 minutes away walking, so I'd be able to work like the entire day. And I'll bet they pay a bit more than minimum, too. Even min would be great, I don't even care. It would be perfect. So I went for a stroll to the drugstore (was feeling cooped up at home anyway, so it was a good excuse to get out). I'm always there sending books out for BookMooch, and I always have a million questions, so I don't know if I'm annoying or whatever. Usually the same woman is there every time except for this one time where there was this youngish Asian guy, and I wanted to ask him about the job rather than the lady, but voila, she was there, so I had to ask her. She said they're not even hiring until September. WHYYYYYY?? She took my resume anyway, we'll see if anyone ever reads it. On top of that I've sent a few other resume/cover letters, to no avail. I'm way too scared to to the cold calling thing so that's out of the question. How am I supposed to find a "real" job if no one is hiring people who don't have experience.
Anyway, what else is new? Especially nowadays with the economy or whatever.
So yeah what else...well Swimming is going alright. I figured out the tampon thing, so I won't be missing any more classes. I got 2(!) new DS games - Zelda Phantom Hourglass, and Pokemon HeartGold. So I'm super busy with that plus the job searching, lol. And now it's the researching for Vancouver and Montreal.
Oh, I finally made an appointment with the doctor about my creaky ankle (did I ever mention it here? I don't know). What happened was, after swimming on Tuesday, my ankle started feeling uncomfortable. When I got home I palpated my good side then the weird side (one thing I remember from Kine), noticed that it felt like fluid was building up in my ankle. It got worse as the day went on, and at the end of the day I noticed a lot of bruising on my shin. I do tend to bump into things a lot, but I didn't remember getting hurt that day. The only thing it could have possibly been was that I bumped my leg as I was getting out of the pool. But there was a fresh red bruise farther up that was suspicious. So I called the doctor and made an appointment for this Friday. Of course the fluid drained out the next morning, so my doc will probably think I'm crazy when I tell her what happened. Argh.
And now we have visitors, so I'm sure I'll be required to emerge from my comfy position very soon.