Random.
*This whole five-hours-of-sleep-per-night thing is really catching up with me. I feel like someone replaced all the blood in my body with thick maple syrup. All I need is some motherfucking pancakes and a razor blade. Mmmmm, pancakes and warm me-syrup.
*I miss hanging out with my brother, even if he has become all jesus-y lately. It’s a funny transition to watch, though (and this is certainly not the first time), because it results in ironic text-message exchanges that go something like this: “Sorry I can’t get you any pot this weekend Blaze, I’m going to another 3-day Christian men’s encounter. Yep, this one will be all in Spanish too.”
*I think we are phasing out sex as an antiquated way of getting off in our house. Oral pleasures and jerkoff sessions are so much more efficient. This is mildly disturbing, but I’m sure it will work itself out. In the meantime, I like giving ohmigod-we-better-hurry-up-and-leave-but-first-I-really-need-your-cock blowjobs.
*My mom is really hilarious to watch when she gets put in her place (deserved or not) by her big sister. I take a certain quiet pleasure in watching the Neck Stepper become the Neck Steppee.
*I’ve been seriously neglecting the dog lately. He deserves to get more exercise than he does, even if I do resent the hell out of him for forcing us to abandon the living room sofa to his Filth. Fucking Barnyard Dog.
*I’ve resigned myself to the fact that this is a total write-off of a week, because I am too fried to get anything of substance done. Hence, this handily random and blah post in lieu of, I don’t know, ACTUALLY BEING CAPABLE OF STRINGING A COHESIVE NARRATIVE DU JOUR TOGETHER. Sorry for phonin’ it in, peeps. To (over)compensate for my lameness, I give you this frightening picture:
*I miss hanging out with my brother, even if he has become all jesus-y lately. It’s a funny transition to watch, though (and this is certainly not the first time), because it results in ironic text-message exchanges that go something like this: “Sorry I can’t get you any pot this weekend Blaze, I’m going to another 3-day Christian men’s encounter. Yep, this one will be all in Spanish too.”
*I think we are phasing out sex as an antiquated way of getting off in our house. Oral pleasures and jerkoff sessions are so much more efficient. This is mildly disturbing, but I’m sure it will work itself out. In the meantime, I like giving ohmigod-we-better-hurry-up-and-leave-but-first-I-really-need-your-cock blowjobs.
*My mom is really hilarious to watch when she gets put in her place (deserved or not) by her big sister. I take a certain quiet pleasure in watching the Neck Stepper become the Neck Steppee.
*I’ve been seriously neglecting the dog lately. He deserves to get more exercise than he does, even if I do resent the hell out of him for forcing us to abandon the living room sofa to his Filth. Fucking Barnyard Dog.
*I’ve resigned myself to the fact that this is a total write-off of a week, because I am too fried to get anything of substance done. Hence, this handily random and blah post in lieu of, I don’t know, ACTUALLY BEING CAPABLE OF STRINGING A COHESIVE NARRATIVE DU JOUR TOGETHER. Sorry for phonin’ it in, peeps. To (over)compensate for my lameness, I give you this frightening picture: