todays my birthday
Honestly, I never thought i would be this old. Not to say that 24 is old by any means, because it isnt. Maybe its because it isnt a milestone number....like 18, 21 or even 25.
but still....
i had to work all day. And i have to work all day tomorrow. I guess thats the great thing about my job....it keeps me distracted. From what though, its hard to say. Loneliness? nostalgia? Or maybe im just insanely exhausted from lack of sleep. My life is moving by to quickly. besides my job, i really dont have much else to consider myself proud of. the lack of a love life is very apparent and it does bother me from time to time. It was brought to my attention recently that ive always been in a relationship. whether with joey...or when i moved here, how quickly things moved with eric. or the numerous 2 week boyfriends i had in high school. ive always been one to enjoy taking care of others. always. so its odd having to put myself first, not because i dont want to. but because i have nothing else. no one else....not even a fish.
Its been a few months though, since eric and i. i feel like i should have moved on already. its just hard. honestly it is....watching all of your friends fall into relationships....engagements, weddings even. I honestly never thought i would be the single friend. ever. it was just a given that i would always be the one to be married first or at least have an accidental love child. I fall in love so easily. like the movies say, its a gift and a curse. i can see the good in almost everyone but it makes me want to move so quickly...and to instantly be back in that stage of comfort.
In all seriousness though, i have a feeling that maybe i am a crazy person.
but is it really to much to ask for a cuddle buddy?
but still....
i had to work all day. And i have to work all day tomorrow. I guess thats the great thing about my job....it keeps me distracted. From what though, its hard to say. Loneliness? nostalgia? Or maybe im just insanely exhausted from lack of sleep. My life is moving by to quickly. besides my job, i really dont have much else to consider myself proud of. the lack of a love life is very apparent and it does bother me from time to time. It was brought to my attention recently that ive always been in a relationship. whether with joey...or when i moved here, how quickly things moved with eric. or the numerous 2 week boyfriends i had in high school. ive always been one to enjoy taking care of others. always. so its odd having to put myself first, not because i dont want to. but because i have nothing else. no one else....not even a fish.
Its been a few months though, since eric and i. i feel like i should have moved on already. its just hard. honestly it is....watching all of your friends fall into relationships....engagements, weddings even. I honestly never thought i would be the single friend. ever. it was just a given that i would always be the one to be married first or at least have an accidental love child. I fall in love so easily. like the movies say, its a gift and a curse. i can see the good in almost everyone but it makes me want to move so quickly...and to instantly be back in that stage of comfort.
In all seriousness though, i have a feeling that maybe i am a crazy person.
but is it really to much to ask for a cuddle buddy?