A BRAND NEW LIFE (Chapter 9)

[brassebouillon]

Summary : What if Ryan had entered the Cohen’s life when he was five years old?
Beta : A huge thanks to 
anne35for the incredible work she did on this fanfiction. Some (ok... “most” would be exact) of the sentences of this chapter are totally hers! They're really making this fanfiction much better and more realistic!
Disclaimers : The characters and the universe were created and are (or, “were”…*sob on the keyboard*) owned by Josh Schwartz. All mistakes are my personal property. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

PART 9

Seth’s birthday party was in full swing. All the kids seemed to be laughing and having a good time. Seth even left Summer’s side for a minute to talk to Ryan.

“Hey, Dude, you’re swimming! That’s so cool. Now, we didn’t need to have the parents watching us as soon as we put a foot in the pool. We can invite girls whenever we want.” Exclaimed an ecstatic Seth.
“Yeah…I don’t think so…”
“Why not?”
“Seth, your mom doesn’t even let us cross the street by ourselves.”
“Keep it down, Ryan. You’re going to ruin my reputation with the ladies.”

Just then Taylor came bounding up to them, grinning from ear to ear.
“Seth, this is the best birthday party ever. And I’m not just saying that because it’s the only party I’ve ever been invited to.” Taylor could hardly talk she was so excited, and for Taylor Townsend that was saying a lot. She had won the girl’s noodle race and Marissa Cooper had told her she was a good swimmer. Even Summer had been nice to her the whole afternoon. It was the best day she had ever had.
“Thanks. I’m glad you like it,” Seth answered politely. He still couldn’t quite understand why Ryan didn’t seem to think Taylor was weird.
“Taylor, you know my brother Ryan. Hey, Ryan, look who’s here,” Seth gently pushed Taylor towards Ryan and mouthed “weirdo” before quickly making his escape back to Summer.
Ryan took a deep breath and smiled at her shyly.
“Hi, Taylor. I saw you win the race. Good job.”
“Thanks! I can’t believe how many kids are here. I counted over fifteen of us. I heard last year nobody came. Luke Ward had a party the same day so everyone went to that one instead. I would have picked Seth’s party, but I wasn’t invited to either one.”
“He already was friend with Leon last year, wasn’t he?”
“Sure, but Leon didn’t move here until January, so of course he didn’t come. Now Seth has every popular kid in the first grade here. And he still invited me, that’s so cool.”
“Well, once Seth got Summer to come all the other kids said they’d come too. Nobody wants Summer mad at them. But even if she wouldn’t have come, Leon and Zach would still be here. They love comics and Star Wars as much as much as he does. They come over to Seth’s house all the time.”
“Why did you call it Seth’s house. It’s your house, too. You guys are brothers, aren’t you? And why do you call Mr. and Mrs. Cohen by their first names? That’s kind of weird. Why don’t you call them Mom and Dad?”
“They’re not my parents. My mom is sick and can’t take care of me right now. And my dad’s in jail, but I don’t think I’m supposed to talk about that.”
“But Ryan, the Cohens adopted you. They are your parents, now. Seth says all the time that you’re his brother.”
Ryan nodded. He considered Seth as his best friend. But his brother was Trey. Taylor watched Ryan as the boy became silent.
“Ryan, are you okay? I didn’t mean to make you mad at me.”
“I’m sorry. I’m fine.” He pointed to the door in hopes of changing the subject. “Hey, look they’re bringing out the cake.”
Sandy and Kirsten each carried out a cake. Sandy had Seth’s white with six burning candles. While Kirsten carried Rosa’s specialty, a chocolate cake with chocolate icing. On top of it sat two candles. Ryan couldn’t help grinning. He had never had his very own cake before. Dawn usually just bought him a package of Hostess cupcakes from the convenience store for his birthday.
“Today is a very special day”, began Sandy. “Seth is turning six and Ryan has been part of our family for two months. A birthday and an anniversary. So two delicious cakes.”
“I asked Mom if you could have your own cake. I didn’t tell you because I wanted it to be a surprise.” Ryan didn’t look very happy. Seth began to worry that Ryan didn’t like the cake. “ It’s chocolate. Your favorite, right?”
Ryan stood perfectly still, staring straight ahead. Everything that had just been said in done in the past five minutes was swirling through his head. Part of the family, your parents now, Seth says you’re his brother. If that were true, that meant his mom wasn’t coming back. She had to come back. His mom and Trey were his family, not the Cohens. He would miss the Cohens, but he still wanted his real family back.
Kirsten could tell something was wrong. She quickly set the cake down and came over to the boys.
“Seth, why don’t you go ahead and blow out your candles. That way everyone can sing “Happy Birthday to you and your dad can start cutting the cake.”
“Okay,” he agreed, but he glanced nervously over his shoulder at Ryan. “Is Ryan sick? He doesn’t look very good.”
“I’m sure Ryan’s fine. Go...go be with your friends.” She gently shoved him towards Sandy and his guests.
“Are you okay, sweetie?” She looked around at the other children remembering what happened the first day of school. “Did one of the kids say something that upset you or hurt your feelings?”
“I’m fine,” he lied. “I’m just trying to remember where I hid Seth’s present. I better go look for it.”
Without giving Kirsten a chance to question him further he ran into the house and up the stairs. A couple of minutes later he came back down carrying a large, square box carefully wrapped in blue paper and a red bow.
“Thanks, man!” Seth unwrapped the present and looked at the blue house-shaped wooden box with a large ‘S’ paint on it.
“This is really cool, but what is it?”
“It’s for your comic books. That way you have somewhere to put them and your mom can stop threatening to throw them away if you don’t stop leaving them all over the floor.”
“How did you build it?”
“I was just going to make it out of cardboard, but Miss Applegate saw me drawing it in class. I told her what I was doing and she took my picture home with her and her boyfriend cut out the pieces. Then she helped me use wood glue to put it together. No one helped me paint it, though. I did that myself.”
“So that’s where you’ve been during recess this week. Thanks. This is one of the best presents I’ve ever gotten. I’ll put all my Superman comics in it. They’re my favorite.”
Seth sat the present back on the table. “We can do it together. After everyone leaves tonight.” He looked over to the pool where a group of girls were standing. “I’m going to talk to Summer and tell her that her comic she gave me will be the first one in it.” He ran over to wards the girls, but not without turning one last time to Ryan. “ Thanks again, buddy.”
Sandy picked up the box and studied it more carefully. “This is really impressive, Ryan.
“It really is,” echoed Kirsten. “We had no idea you were so talented.”
Ryan looked down, blushing from the compliments. “But I didn’t do it by myself. I had to have two people help me.”
“You may have had help, but you’re the one who came up with idea and drew the picture for Miss Applegate’s boyfriend. Not everyone can do that. I work with people whose job it is to draw picture of houses and buildings other people want to build. The pictures are called blueprints and the people who draw them are called architects.”
“’Architects’…”repeated Ryan. He liked the sound of it.
“That’s right, honey. Maybe someday you could come to my office and look at the blueprints of the model homes I help build. Would you like that?”
Ryan’s face lit with excitement and he nodded enthusiastically.
“Ryan!!!!!” called Seth. “The cannonball contest is beginning! Hurry up!”
“You’d better go, honey. Sandy and I will be watching from over there” She pointed to corner of the patio. “Way, way, way over there.”
As Ryan ran towards the pool, Sandy put his arms around Kirsten’s waist.
“It’s a great party, Seth is really happy and Ryan’s getting better, I think.”
“Less nightmares, more eating. He’s got some friends and he’s doing really well at school. Yes, he’s definitely doing better.”
An overexcited Seth ran towards them and announced:
“Mom! Dad! Guess what! Summer Roberts kissed me. Here. On my cheek. See? This one. I’m never gonna wash my face anymore. Never.”
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The following Monday at school, Ryan, Seth, Taylor, Marissa and Summer were having lunch together.
“I’m sick of Thomas and his stupid fish,” whined Summer. “Why can’t we read something good like Cinderella or Snow White?”
“The Thomas thing is almost over. You only have to hang in a couple of more days.” Seth reassured her. He glanced over to the fence that surrounded the school and leaned in closer to his friends. “Does anyone know that strange lady standing by the gate? She’s been looking at us ever since we sat down. I think there’s something wrong her. I mean just look at her.”
He nodded his head in the direction of the woman and all the kids turned to stare. The three girl’s eyes opened in shock at the sight of her. Her clothes were loose and disheveled and a bright purple bra strap had fallen half-way down her arm. Her hair was ratty and looked like it hadn’t been washed or combed in days. The worse was her makeup. She wore bright red lipstick and thick heavy baby-blue eyeshadow that could easily be seen even from across the school yard. Her mascara was smeared and had left dark circles under both her eyes. All the kids exchanged horrified glances, except for Ryan. Instead, he jumped up and ran towards her yelling “Mom!”
“Who’s that?” asked Taylor.
“He called her “mom”, didn’t he”, answered Summer. “She looks weird, really weird.”
“She looks sick. She’s swaying on her feet,” added Marissa.
“Look at her hair. Such a mess. Ewww,” concluded Summer
Ryan gripped the wire.
“Mom.”
“Hey, Ry.” Dawn slurred. In his excitement to see his mother Ryan didn’t even notice her drunken state.
He glanced around and was relieved to see that Jake was nowhere to be seen. That could only mean that she had finally dumped him and that meant he could go back and live with her. They could go pick up Trey and then it would just be the three of them, just like it should be. He hoped that she would still let him come visit the Cohens. He really liked them. They didn’t yell or hit, but they weren’t his family. After all, she promised they were going to be together again by Christmas. He knew he wasn’t suppose to live with the Cohens forever.
“Mom!”
Tears of joy began to well in his eyes.
“Mom,” he repeated. He missed her so much. Everything was gonna be normal again. He was going to live with Trey and his mom.
“Mom, you’re taking me back, aren’t you? Mom?!”
“You shouldn’t call me that. I can’t be your mom anymore. You’ve got a new mom now, remember?”
“What are you talking about? You promised that we were going to live together again. I don’t want a new mom; I want you.” Tears were beginning to form in his eyes.
“Well, kiddo I don’t want you. Jake says we don’t need a couple of brats around all the time and I agree with him.”
“Jake? I thought you were going to break up with him. You promised.”
“Why would I do that? He takes good care of me. We’re moving. I need a fresh start, away from you and Trey. I’m not sure where we’re going yet. Jake thinks maybe New Mexico or Nevada.”
“You promised…You said that Trey, you and me…living together again…before Christmas…,” murmured a shaky Ryan. He began to sob. “You told me…you told me…”
“Stop crying. You’re supposed to be the good one, so you stop crying this instant. Do like I tell you and don’t disappoint me just like your good for nothing brother.”
“Mom, please,” begged Ryan almost choking on the tears that rolled down his cheeks.
“I told you to stop calling me that. Jake’s right you are a whiny little crybaby.” She knelt down so that she was eye level with Ryan. “I’m not cut out to be anybody’s mom, especially yours. Now you listen up and you listen good, Ry. You need to stop crying right now. You’ve got to be a good kid so that these rich people don’t want to get rid of you, because I’m not going to take you back...ever. If you don’t behave you could end up living in some dumpy group home or worse yet...the streets. If you end up there you’ll be a nobody. Got it? A nobody. Do you understand me?”
Ryan was practically choking on his sobs, but managed to nod his head.
“Good. I’ve got to go. Jake’s waiting for me.” She reached a hand through the fence and wiped a tear from his cheek “Bye, kiddo. You remember what I told you and be good.” And with that she turned and walked away without a second glance at her son.
Ryan slid to the ground clutching his knees and sobbing hysterically.
“Mom, don’t go. Please, don’t go.” He repeated over and over again.

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Miss Applegate hurried over as soon as she saw the group of children huddled around Ryan.
“What’s going on, Seth?”
“Something’s wrong with Ryan. I don’t know, I think he might be broken.”
Summer hit him in the arm. “He’s not one of your stupid action figures Seth. But he’s right about Ryan, Miss Applegate. He’s acting really strange.”
“He’s scaring me,” added Marissa.
The teacher knelt on the ground in front of Ryan. What she saw took her breath away. The child was deathly pale, his eyes glazed and unfocused. He was literally shaking. But what concerned her the most was the most was that he kept hitting his left hand on the hard concrete pavement of the playground. The hand was bleeding, but Ryan seemed totally unaware of any pain he might be causing himself. He just sat there rocking back and forth hitting his hand on the ground.
Taylor was sitting next to him, holding his right hand. When she saw her teacher she looked up at her with wide frightened eyes. “Help him, Miss Applegate. Please.”
The teacher leaned in closer to Ryan. “Ryan, look at me. Ryan, I need you to look at me please.”
Ryan did not appear to see or hear Miss Applegate or any of the other kids.
"Ryan?"
Still no answer.
“I’ve tried to get him to talk to me, but he won’t do it,” said Taylor anxiously.
“Taylor I need to you and Marissa to run over there and ask Mr. Patterson to please come over here as quick as possible. And Seth and Summer, I need for you to go to the office and get Mrs. McCallister and tell her we need the school nurse. I don’t want any of you to be scared. Ryan will be just fine, but I do need you to go as fast you can, please.”
Miss Applegate watched the children scurry across the playground as fast as they could.
“What’s going on here?” asked a breathless Mr. Patterson.
“I don’t know, Steve. Ryan was fine this morning. I don’t know what happened to him. He’s been like this since I found him just a couple of minutes ago.” She motioned to Ryan who was still rocking back and forth and hitting his hand against the pavement.
Mr. Patterson knelt down and took the injured hand into his own. “Hey, buddy, that’s got to hurt.”
As soon as he picked up the boy’s hand his breathing became increasingly erratic.
Noticing the quickening of his breath, Mr. Patterson gently let go of the boy’s hand. Ryan’s breathing slowed, but he immediately continued hitting his hand.
“Taylor, did something happen to make Ryan act like this?”
Taylor was nervously twisting her hair. “There was a scary looking lady outside the gate. She was watching us...I mean Ryan.”
“Did Ryan act like he knew her?”
“Ryan called her his mom.”
Just then Seth and Summer along with Mrs. McCallister and the school nurse arrived at the scene. The nurse immediately began to look over Ryan.
“The Cohens are on their way over right now,” announced Mrs. McCallister

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Tears glistened in Kirsten’s eyes as she looked at Ryan on the cot in the nurse’s office. He was sitting as far back as he could go, his back pressed against the wall, and his knees drawn tightly to his chest. He was still slightly rocking back and forth, with his eyes wide open staring straight ahead, but seeing nothing and no one. He was muttering something to himself that she couldn’t quite understand.

Kirsten reached out and touched her foster son’s cheek.
“Ryan?” she called softly.
“Not…mom… ‘more. Not…son. ..nobody.”
“Ryan, honey, what are you saying? I don’t understand, honey. Tell me.”
“Not…mom… ‘more. Not…son. ..nobody.”
Kirsten sat quietly behind him and put her arm around his shoulders.
“Not…mom… ‘more. Not…son. ..nobody.”
Kirsten gently took his injured hand into her own.
The nurse had wrapped it , but blood was seeping through the bandages.
“Not…mom… ‘more. Not…son. ..nobody.”

The realization of what Ryan had been doing hit Kirsten full force. The day of the fight with Luke and his cousins all those weeks ago they had noticed his hand. Sandy had told her about it when they had started the swimming lessons. Then again the day of Seth’s birthday party Kirsten had seen the scrapes again. She and Sandy had discussed it, but had done nothing. They hadn’t even been that concerned about it. But now she knew. He hadn’t fallen, he hadn’t hurt his hand playing soccer....he had been doing to himself.
She looked up to see Sandy and Doctor Greene hurried over to them.
Doctor Greene took out a flashlight and looked into Ryan’s eyes.
“Ryan, can you hear me? Ryan?” he asked. Kirsten was rubbing her foster son’s back, whispering soothing words to him.
“Not…mom… ‘more. Not…son. ..nobody.”
“He’s in shock. I’ll give him a sedative and take him to HOAG right now,” decided Doctor Greene. Kirsten held Ryan tight and whispered that everything would be alright even if he was totally unaware of her presence. Doctor Greene took a syringe and injected Ryan medication and she felt Ryan go limp in her arms.
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“Dad, what’s going on? Is Ryan acting like this because of that woman?” Seth asked his father as he followed the three adults to the car. He was worried about Ryan. He had never seen anyone act so strange before, and it scared him.
“What?” Sandy had been carrying Ryan to the car, but when he heard Seth’s question he handed the unconscious boy over to Dr. Greene. He motioned the doctor and Kirsten to continue walking. He knelt on the ground so that he could become eye-level with his son. “What woman are you talking about?”
“We were all having lunch together and I noticed this weird lady looking at us. She looked a lot like Medusa from my comic book Superman and the Island of....”
“Seth, please. Just tell me about this woman. It’s very important.”
“Like I said she was staring at us. No one else had seen her and when I said something, Ryan jumped up ran over to her. He called her mom. But she didn’t look like a mom. She was way too scary looking.”
“Come on, son. I want you to look at a picture I have in the car.”
When they reached the car Dr. Greene was fastening Ryan into his booster seat and Kirsten was climbing into the backseat beside him. Sandy pulled out his briefcase and rummaged through it until he found what he was looking for.
“Seth, I’m going to show you a couple of pictures and I want you tell me if it was the same woman you saw today. I need you to look very carefully. If we want Ryan to get better we have to be sure that it’s the same woman. Okay?”
Seth nodded his head and Sandy pulled out two pictures of Dawn Atwood. One picture was taken after she had been arrested for a DUI. Seth immediately pointed to that picture.
“That’s her, Dad. Her hair was sticking up everywhere and she it looked like she was having trouble standing up. So it was Ryan’s mom?”
Sandy nodded sadly. It was obvious from Seth’s description that Dawn had shown up at the school drunk or high or both. He wondered what the woman could have said to Ryan to make him react this way. He put a hand on Seth’s shoulder.
“Thank you, Seth. You were a big help.

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Ryan still lay motionless in Kirsten’s lap. They had been waiting in the emergency room for thirty minutes while Dr. Greene took care of Ryan’s hand. The only good news they had was when Dr. Roberts came and volunteered to take Seth home with him for the rest of the afternoon.
“All done,” the doctor finally announced. “You’ll need to keep a close eye on these stitches. I’m worried about infection.”
“He does that to himself, doesn’t he?” Kirsten asked softly, dreading the answer.
“I’m afraid he does.”
Sandy approached them sat down next to his wife on the examining table. He could see the tell-tale sparkle that betrayed the presence of tears in her eyes.
“With your permission I’d like to call one of my colleagues. He specializes in children with these kinds of pathologies.”
“What kind of pathologies”? asked Sandy.
“From everything I can tell, Ryan is in shock. The injury to his hand is the consequence of self-mutilation. I don’t know what incident caused this particular outbreak...”
“Ryan’s biological mother showed up at school,” Sandy interrupted. “According to the description my son gave she was definitely under the influence. I’m afraid I don’t know what she said to him though.
“Dr. Folding is who I’d to call. He’s the best child therapist I know.”
“We’ve heard of him. We’re friends with Dr. Neil Roberts. He mentioned that his daughter Summer was devastated last year after her mother left. She stopped eating and sleeping. At first he thought she would get over it on her own, but then the nightmares started. That’s when he called this Dr. Folding. From everything Neil says Summer is doing much better now. We trust him and you, Dr. Green.”
“I’ll go make the call,” Dr. Greene said and left the room.
Sandy looked over at his wife and saw tears streaming down her face. He pulled her into a one armed hug, trying not to disturb Ryan.
“I’m so worried, Sandy. How could have we been so blind? He has been hurting himself since months and we didn’t help him. It’s our fault,” she sobbed.
“Honey,” Sandy began. He felt as worried and as guilty as she did, but he tried to reassure her. “How could we have known? We knew he was still having some problems, but he seemed to be getting better. We don’t have experience in this kind of things. We didn’t know even know the signs to look for. Now we know, and we can focus on helping him. Blaming ourselves won’t help Ryan.”

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The Cohens sat in Dr. Folding office in the west wing of the hospital. Ryan had been moved to his own private room. The staff had assured them that they would be notified the
second Ryan regained consciousness. For now, they listened in stunned silence as the doctor described Ryan’s condition.
“What you need to understand is that, for Ryan, injuring himself is a way to externalize emotional internal pain. Self-abuse is a means for him to calm intense emotions,” explained Doctor Folding.
Kirsten felt tears welling in her eyes. Sandy immediately held her hand.
“I know how hard it is to realize that someone would deliberately hurt themselves, especially a small child. Studies show that it’s an attempt to maintain a certain amount of control. I’m guessing Ryan’s a pretty shy quiet little boy. He’s probably a lot different than other kids his age. Most six year olds are still learning to control their emotions, but Ryan probably rarely expresses his feelings. Am I right?”
Sandy nodded. Before this afternoon he’d desperately hoped that he and Kirsten’s love and support would be enough for Ryan. But now he knew it wasn’t. They had no idea of how to help him get past the demons of his past.
“He needs therapy, doesn’t he?” he asked.
“What concerns me is that self-injury is a behavior that has a tendency to become compulsive and addictive. Like any other addiction, people who suffer from it have a hard time stopping that behavior, even when they know it’s unhealthy. In Ryan’s case, with his history of abuse, I believe that Ryan is very real danger of hurting himself. So yes, I would strongly recommend post-traumatic stress therapy.”

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Susan, the RN on duty that day, walked into Ryan’s room. She had been the one to personally assure his foster parents that she would be keeping a close eye on the tiny blond-haired boy. She had been checking on him every fifteen minutes, and each time he hadn’t moved. However, this time she entered the room to find him thrashing back and forth while he kept mumbling to himself.
“Nooooo, nooooo, please don’t go. Please don’t leave me here all alone.”
She leaned over his bed.
“Ryan? Wake up sweetie.”
She shook gently the kid’s shoulder in an attempt to wake him up. By the look of it a nightmare had him in a tight grip and he was absolutely drenched in sweat. He suddenly sat up, gasping for air.
“It’s all right, Ryan. My name is Nurse Susan. You’re in the hospital. Your parents had to leave for just a little bit, but they’ll be right back. Everything is going to be just fine.”
Ryan calmed down enough to look around the room and realize that he was in a hospital. Suddenly, he felt like he couldn’t breathe. He was going to have to stay all by himself for days, maybe even a week. It would be just like the last time he got sick and his mom left him all alone.
I can’t be your mom. Stop crying. Be good. His mother’s words echoed in his head.
Feeling his eyes prick with tears Ryan did his best to wipe them away quickly.
“Ryan, honey?!”
The nurse was stroking his hair. “Your parents are with a doctor and they are going to be back very soon. Do you want to have a drink? You’re running a fever, I’m afraid.”
Be a good kid so that these rich people don’t want to get rid of you. Ryan began to sob.
“I want Kirsten. Please. I wanna see Kirsten.”
“Ok, calm down. I’m going to get her, right now, ok?”
She quickly walked out and ran to the doctor’s office.
“Sorry for interrupting you. Ryan is awake. Mrs. Cohen, could you please come with me? He’s disoriented and he’s asking for you.”
When Kirsten walked into the room, she felt her heart break. Ryan was shaking and tears were rolling down his cheeks.
“I want Kirsten. Please. I want Kirsten!”
“Honey, I’m here, it’s ok, calm down.”
“Please, don’t leave, please!”
“I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying with you, honey.”
Kirsten put Ryan into her lap. Everything seemed blurry and he closed his eyes and buried his head into her shoulder. Kirsten winced as she felt Ryan shaking against her.
She looked at her foster son’s face: sweat was beading on his forehead and his cheeks were flushed. She gently kissed his forehead. He was burning up.
“Kirsten?...”
“Shhhh, calm down, I’m here, honey. Everything’s going to be fine.” She began to rock him slowly while stroking his damp hair. She turned towards the nurse.
“Please, tell me what’s wrong with him. Why is he running a fever?”
“That’s probably a side effect to the sedation. He’s going to be fine. The doctor is coming,” answered the nurse in a soothing tone.
A minute later, Sandy and a doctor Kirsten hadn’t seen before walked into Ryan’s room.
“Kirsten?”
“It’s ok, Ryan. I’m here…just calm down…”
“Please don’t be fed up with me, please, keep me, I’m sorry. Please don’t make me go, please,” began to beg Ryan. “I don’t wanna be a nobody. Please, don’t leave me. Please, don’t put me in foster care…I don’t want to live on the streets…”
Sharing a look of disbelief and concern with her husband, Kirsten began to soothingly rub Ryan’s back. “Ryan, everything’s going to be ok,” she said gently. “We’ll never leave you. We’ll never make you go. Never. You living with us isn’t a temporary thing. You’re part of this…of our family. You’re not a nobody, honey. You’re a really important somebody, you’re my son, you’re Sandy’s son and Seth’s brother. You’re staying with us, honey. Forever.”
“Mrs. Cohen?” the new doctor asked. “Hello. I’m Dr. Stevens and I’ll be the one looking out for Ryan for the rest of the evening.” He turned his attention to Ryan. “I understand that you’re not feeling too great, young man. Well, don’t you worry; we’ll have you better in no time.” He handed Ryan a small plastic cup filled with red liquid. “I’m going to have ask you to swallow this. I know it tastes bad, but it will make you feel better.”
Ryan swallowed it and immediately felt sick. He tried to tell Kirsten that he was going to be sick, but it was too late. His stomach heaved and there was nothing he could do to stop it and he threw up on Kirsten’s lap. Ryan sobbed as his body trembled uncontrollably. He broke into a cold sweat. He tried to focus on his foster parents’ concerned faces, but they were spinning too fast.
“Kirsten, I’m sorry. Please, don’t be mad, please,” Ryan begged.
“It’s okay, sweetie. I’m not mad. Everyone gets sick sometimes. You couldn’t help it. But you do need to calm down. We’re here now. Everything’s going to be okay.” She stroked his hair, and looked at Sandy. He looked just as worried as she felt.
“I’ll go get Ryan some clean clothes and something to clean him up with.” The nurse quickly left the room.
Once she was gone Kirsten looked to the doctor.
“I don’t understand. Why is Ryan so sick? He was just fine this morning.”
“I believe he’s in shock and the sedative Dr. Greene gave him might have triggered the nausea. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to give him a shot, but I think that’s our only option for right now. Nurse Susan will be back in a few minutes to administer it, and I’ll be back to check up on Ryan after while.”
Kirsten tried to lay Ryan back on the bed so she could clean off, but he held on tight to her.
“When…when are you coming back?” whispered a tearful Ryan
“I’m just going to the restroom to clean up a bit. It’s okay. Sandy is still right here. I’ll be right back. I promise.”
“And after, when are you coming back?”
“Coming back? From where? I’m not leaving, Ryan. I’m staying here with you.”
“But you have to go to work.”
“No way, no how, Ryan. Someone needs to be here with you, you’re more important than my work. I’m staying with you, we’re both staying, honey,” she reassured, stroking his foster son’s hair.
A few minutes after, the nurse came back and crouched in front of Ryan and the Cohens.
“I know Ryan’s reaction was frightening, but everything is going to be fine,” the nurse said. “The doctors here are the best I’ve ever worked with.”
Ryan felt something cold brushed his thigh then he felt a sting and a slight burn. He clutched Kirsten’s sleeve like a security blanket and fell asleep immediately.

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Ryan spent the rest of the evening dozing on and off, but never fully awoke.
He was just barely aware of the doctor entering the room again. The adults began to talk and he allowed their quiet discussion to lull him back to sleep.
He woke up again when he felt Sandy putting something in his hand.
"What?" he managed to mumble.
“I went back to home to drop Seth and I found this under your pillow, I thought you might want to have it.”
Ryan opened his eyes and saw his dad’s wifebeater. It had been the only thing of his father’s he had manage to save and hide from his mother. After Frank had been arrested, Dawn had gotten rid of every last of him in the house. Ryan didn’t even have one picture of his dad. He could barely even remember what he looked like anymore.
He shivered, and clutched the shirt to his chest, burrowing his face in the thin white material. He felt Kirsten begin stroking his hair.
“Please, don’t leave,” he whispered.
“I won’t honey, get some sleep. I’m staying with you.”
“ ’don’t wanna stay here alone…”
“I’m right there, Ryan. Sandy’s here too. We’re staying. You can go back to sleep, we won’t let you.”
Ryan grabbed Kirsten’s hand and fell asleep.
Kirsten looked at Sandy, confused.
“Why is he so afraid that I’m going to leave him? Sandy, do you know something about his past that you haven’t told me?”
”Ryan had a bad case of pneumonia last year. Dawn was sober enough to bring him in and have him admitted, but afterwards she didn’t come to visit him, not even once. He was in the hospital for over a week. I guess Ryan’s afraid that we’ll do the same.”
“He pleaded with me not to make him live in foster care or in the streets. How could he imagine we could do such a thing?”
“I don’t know. I was so convinced he was getting better…” Sandy’s voice faded. He just didn’t know what was going on or how to help his foster son.

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The next thing Ryan knew there was light flooding his room and Kirsten was gently asking him to wake up. Obediently, he opened his eyes to find Dr. Greene leaning over him and smiling.
“Good morning, Ryan. I’ve got good news for you and your parents, your fever broke sometime during the night. Do you feel any better?”
Ryan nodded.
“Dr. Greene turned to Sandy and Kirsten. “I don’t see any reason why you can’t take him home today. I would prescribe him an anti-anxiety medication, but I see Ryan already has an appointment with Dr. Folding tomorrow. I’ll let him decide if he what kind of medication, if any, is best for Ryan. I will need to see Ryan in about a week to check on that hand and to remove the stitches. You can call my office to make the appointment.”
“Thank you, Doctor,” Sandy shook the man’s hand and carefully scooped a drowsy Ryan up.
“Let’s go home, everything’s going to be fine,” Sandy reassured. He wasn’t sure if he was talking to Ryan, Kirsten, himself, or all three of them.

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After Sandy got Ryan into the bed, Kirsten began to adjust the blankets around him and fuss with his pillow until he finally seemed comfortable. She sat in the bed next to him and began to stroke his hair. Ryan looked up at her with half-opened eyes.
“You don’t leave, do you?”
“No, honey, I’m staying with you, don’t worry.”
“I’m not gonna live in foster care or in the streets?”
“No, sweetie you’re living with us. We love you honey. You’re staying at home. Your home. Our home.” Kirsten put her arm around Ryan and she felt him relax.
“Get some sleep, honey, I’m there, “ she reassured.
Ryan closed his eyes and sank into sleep.
Kirsten didn’t realize she had dozed off before jerking awake hearing Ryan’s terrified screams. She turned on the bedside lamp.
“Ryan, calm down, I’m here.”
“Please, can I stay, even after Christmas?”
“Stay where, honey?” she asked while wiping his teary cheeks.
“With you, in your home. Please…”
“Ryan, sweetie, of course, you’re staying there. It’s your home too. Why do you think you couldn’t stay after Christmas.”
“Before, she said she told me she was coming to take me back before Christmas, but now she said she’s never coming back. Are you going to kick me out when she doesn’t come back? I don’t have anywhere to go.” Ryan began to sob inconsolably.
Kirsten softly put her foster kid into her lap, and put her head on top of his while stroking his hair:
“You’re not going anywhere, Ryan. You’re staying with us. Forever.