A BRAND NEW LIFE (chapter 8)

[brassebouillon]

Summary : What if Ryan had entered the Cohen’s life when he was five years old?

Beta :
A usual, a huge thanks to
anne35 for the incredible work she did on this fanfiction.
And a huge thanks to
ally_1423 who’s had the patience to correct all the grammatical and spelling mistakes

Disclaimers : The characters and the universe were created and are (or, “were”…*sob on the keyboard*) owned by Josh Schwartz.
All mistakes are my personal property.
No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Ryan entered the room, and saw his mom sleeping on the couch. She lay on her side, her face buried in the cushions.
“Mommy, you need to wake up. You have to go to work!”
Dawn didn’t move. Ryan began to get scared. He couldn’t even see her face. He didn’t even know if she was breathing. He began to shiver.

“Mom…”
Ryan slowly walked to the couch and put his hand on his mom’s shoulder
“Mom…wake up…Mom…”
He shook her shoulder. “Mom, please get up.” He began to shake his mother as hard as he could. With one last shake, Dawn rolled over and Ryan saw her face. He screamed when he saw that her eyes were open. They were staring into space, wide open and glossy.
“Why the fuck are you yelling?” asked Tom. “Just shut up! Stupid son of a bitch!”
“It’s my mom,” Ryan sobbed. “She won’t wake up. She’s sick. You need to call the doctor.”
“Stupid brat.” Tom grabbed Ryan by the arms and shook him hard. “She’s just high. Leave her alone. You don’t want to waste her trip.”
“But she’s not moving.”
Tom’s only answer was to slap the terrified boy across the mouth. Ryan fell to the ground. He put his hand to his lip and discovered it was bleeding. He looked up at Tom and saw that he was going to hit him again. Completely stricken with fear, he began backing away.
“Mom, please wake up!” He looked helplessly at his mother’s unconscious body. “Help her, please!” he begged.
Tom ignored his plea. He grabbed Ryan by the arm and hauled him to his feet.
“NO! Don’t! Please!”

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Sandy and Kirsten heard their foster son screaming. They looked at each other and ran upstairs.
Ryan woke with his cry still echoing in his ears. He was drenched in sweat, and his face was streaked in tears. He was still crying, and in spite of his best efforts he couldn’t find a way to stop. He burrowed himself under the covers to muffle his sobs.
He heard footsteps in the hall, and his door creak open as someone entered his room and sat down beside him on the mattress. Still disoriented from the dream, Ryan thought he was still in Chino. He choked back a sob when he felt a hand touch his shoulder. “Please, no. Please?” he pleaded desperately before curling into a ball.
Kirsten pulled back the blankets and attempted to pick Ryan up, but he shrank away from her.

“Sh, sweetie. It’s okay,” she soothed. “It’s just a bad dream. Wake up, Ryan. Sandy and I are right here.”
That voice. Ryan knew that voice but he couldn’t place it.
“She won’t wake up. Can you wake her up? Let me get Eva...she‘ll help her. I’m so scared.”
“I know you are, but it’s okay now. You’re safe here. Open your eyes.”
The woman’s voice was so kind. He didn’t want it to go away, so he did what she asked.
“There you go. It’s okay,” Kirsten soothed, stroking the side of his face.
“She’s gonna die,” Ryan explained.
Kirsten and Sandy exchanged a worried look. Ryan still didn’t know where he was at. His breathing was fast and he was gasping for air, almost choking. They didn’t know what to do. Sandy sat down on the bed next to Kirsten. He scooped him up and held him tight to his chest whispering soothingly all the while. Kirsten rubbed his back gently.
“No one is going to hurt you, Ryan. Not ever again. We’re here to protect you.” Sandy whispered, still holding the boy against him.
Ryan’s body was still tense and trembling, but Sandy could hear his breathing was slowing down. Ryan was clutching his shirt, holding on so tight that his knuckles were turning white. Soon, he broke down, softly sobbing into Sandy’s chest.
“Shhh, shhh… Take it easy, Ryan…We’re right here,”
Kirsten rubbed his back gently. “Alright, deep breaths, Ryan. Here, breathe in, nice and deeply,” she coaxed. “All right.”
“You’re doing well, kid,” Sandy encouraged as Ryan drew in a shuddering breath.
“Everything’s ok, Ryan,” she said while stroking her foster son’s sweaty hair. Sandy laid Ryan back down on the bed, pulling the blankets snugly around the boy.
“Can you tell me what your dream was about?”
“It was my mom. She was asleep and she wouldn’t wake up. I tried and tried, but she wouldn’t wake up. I was so scared,” explained a sniffing Ryan.
“It’s all right, sweetie. It was only a dream.”
“No, it wasn’t. It really happened. She would take too many drugs and fall asleep all the time. It always scared me.”
Kirsten and Sandy exchanged horrified glances.
“They were right, for the needles…” Ryan sounded sleepy. Kirsten gasped and kept stroking gently his hair..
“There were needles, too. And a spoon and her favourite blue lighter.” Ryan was beginning to sound sleepy. Kirsten’s constant stroking of his hair was beginning to lull the boy. He slowly closed his eyes and pulled something white out from underneath his pillow.
“She had straws and a bottle of yellow stuff.” As he spoke Ryan began to rub his face with the white material in slow circular motions. Sandy tried to see what it was, but the room was dark. Finally, he was able to determine it was an adult t-shirt.
“It tasted really bad. One time, her boyfriend made me drink some. I didn’t want, but he made me. I got really sick and threw up. They were both mad at me for getting sick. I said I was sorry, but they didn’t care.”
The Cohens stayed silent, shocked by the revelations they had just heard.
“Sandy,” whispered Kirsten. “Please, tell me this woman could never take Ryan away from us. Tell me he’s going to stay with us. There’s no way somebody take our son from us.” She looked at Sandy pleadingly with teary eyes. Sandy hugged her.
“He is staying with us. He is our son. No one is going to take him from us...ever. I promise you.”

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Seth was munching on Oreos. Kirsten put a glass of milk in front of his son and sat down in front of him.
“What’s on your mind, honey?”
“Summer’s said that the swimming parties are the coolest. We’ve got a pool. So I’d like to have a swimming party. She told me she had a bathing suit ....Little Mermaid”.
“It’s your birthday, honey, you can choose what kind of party you want,” answered Kirsten.
“I think we should have two cakes.”
“Why’s that, sweetie.”
“Well,” said Seth, between bites. “Ryan will have been here for exactly two months on my birthday. It’s kind of like an anniversary. He should get his own cake.”
“That’s a wonderful idea. I’m so proud of you for thinking of Ryan on your special day,” she exclaimed before hugging her son. She looked at him, pleased by his idea. He had matured from a self-centered and introverted boy to a thoughtful child aware that not all the kids were as lucky and pampered as he was. He was still self-absorbed and lost in his mind sometimes, but he was always keeping a close watch to see if Ryan was ok. He was aware of his ability to make his new brother’s light up and perfectly knew when Ryan wanted to be left on his own.
“I want a white cake and I think Ryan should have chocolate. Ryan loves chocolate cake with chocolate icing. And we need vanilla and chocolate ice cream. That way the kids can choose.”
Kirsten smiled. Ryan did love chocolate cakes. When they had come back from the pediatrician’s visit, Kirsten had told Rosa that Ryan seemed to like chocolate cake. The next, day, the housekeeper had baked one and she had been rewarded by Ryan’s huge grin and eyes watery with wonder. “It’s really for us?” he had asked anxiously. And for the first time since his arrival, he had actually emptied his plate.
Since his arrival, they had discovered that Ryan liked French fries, hamburgers, Mexican food, dry cereal, bagels and milk. But since the incident at school, she has the feeling that Ryan hadn’t been eating that much. She had tried to make him talk about what Luke and his cousins had told him, but he had stubbornly looked down and had refused to speak. Sandy and her had decided to wait but she wasn’t sure it was the good solution.
“Where is Ryan, by the way? I imagine he should be getting hungry.”
“He’s in Dad’s office.”

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Sandy heard a soft knock oh his door. He shut the file he had been reading with a loud sigh. He had hoped to get some work done at home this evening, but found that there were too many distractions. Kirsten had made him try suits and ties for the “most important party of the month. We really should go, Sandy” and he hadn’t even read half of his files
“Come in,” he called out. To his surprise Ryan walked in. He stood there looking self-conscious, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.
Sandy had tried to talk to Ryan about his mother several times, but to no avail. Every time he brought up Dawn, the boy would shut down. He didn’t want to push it, because he knew Ryan was doing better. He was making new friends at school and when they were home Sandy often heard the two boys laughing and playing together.
Even though he was making progress, there still Ryan’s nightmares to deal with. Kirsten and Sandy’s concern grew each night as the boy woke up, screaming in terror. They had spoken to Dr. Green about them, and he had referred them to a therapist who specialized in abused children. However, Ryan was still very wary of adults he didn’t know. He refused to speak to the doctor. Sandy and Kirsten had spoken to the doctor privately afterwards. He had suggested that for now that the best thing they could do for Ryan is provide a safe environment where Ryan knew that he would protected and loved. So each night, after a nightmare, they would go into Ryan’s room and hold him, tell him they loved him, and stayed with him until he fell back asleep. Only this ritual seemed to calm the kid down.
Sandy was pleased, but slightly shocked to see Ryan standing in the office door. Ryan may be more comfortable around him, but in the weeks that he had been with them he never initiated a conversation and he never interrupted Sandy when he was in his office. Sandy took this as a good sign.
“Ryan, come on in. What can I do for you, kid?”
“I was wondering. Seth is gonna have a swimming party for his birthday. Could you…” Ryan paused and took a deep breath. Sandy was smiling at him, encouragingly.
“Teach me how to swim? Without the rubber ring.”
“Of course. I’d be glad to teach you how to swim...I have some work tonight that I have to get finished, but tomorrow I’ll make sure I’m free. We’ll start on them first thing after school. We’ll try to keep it a secret. Okay?”
Ryan nodded.
“Kid, your hand’s bleeding, isn’t? I thought it was healed.” Ryan’s hurt his hand three weeks before and now, Sandy realized that it was scraped, swollen and bleeding again. How couldn’t he have realized before?
Ryan had stopped fidgeting and Sandy then noticed Ryan’s hand.
“Kid, is your hand still bleeding?”
It was the same hand that had been hurt three weeks ago. It should have been completely healed by this time, but instead, it was just as swollen as it had been before. Sandy silently berated himself for not noticing it sooner.
“It’s ok, I played soccer during the lunch break. I was goalkeeper. It doesn’t hurt, I’m all right.”
“It may not hurt, but we still need to clean and bandage it. Come on, let’s go get the first-aide kit.”

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“Hey, Ryan, where were you?”
“With Sandy, I told you!”
“Oh yeah, I forgot. It doesn’t matter, buddy, because I’ve got great news!”
“What?”
“I just asked my mom and she totally okayed the swimming party. It’s going to be so awesome. There’s only one problem.”
“Which one?”
“I don’t want to invite Marissa Cooper,” whined Seth.
“She’s Summer’s best friend. You have to invite her. You know how girls are. If you don’t invite Marissa, Summer won’t come either. You do want Summer at the party don’t you?”
“Yes. Yes. Yes.”
“Then you don’t have a choice.”
“But…Marissa…”
“She’s not that bad. I think she’s kind of nice. And she’s....”
“Spoilt? Boring?”
“I was gonna say pretty.”

“Do you think Marissa Cooper is pretty? The girl next door?”
“I’m not saying she’s not spoilt. But every kid who goes to Harbor Elementary is spoilt, including you and Summer.”
“I am not!”
“Are you kidding me? Look at this house and all your toys.”
“Well, what about you?” Seth asked defensively. “You live here, too, and you have just as many toys as I have.”
“I know. That’s the point. I didn’t mean that I wasn’t…now. We have enough clothes to last a month. There’s always food in the refrigerator. And yeah, I know I’ve got a ton of toys, too. But back in Chino, I didn’t have any of this stuff, no one did.”
“But Marissa is a whiner.”
“That’s the big difference between you and her. You never complain,” answered a sarcastic Ryan.
“Okay, okay. I’ll invite her, but I don’t have to like it.”
“Good idea.”

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The following afternoon, Sandy stepped outside the patio doors and studied his foster son, who was undressing near the pool. Sandy was concerned about how thin his foster son was. He and Kirsten knew the boy wasn’t getting enough to eat, but he hadn’t realized Ryan was losing weight until he saw him without his shirt. The kid was practically skin and bones. At that moment, Sandy realized that some of Ryan’s problems weren’t just going to go away. They were going to have to do something about Ryan’s eating and fast.
Sandy tried not to look at all the fading but still visible scars on his tiny back. The round ones were cigarettes burns, the pediatrician had explained. He had given them a cream that would help the scars fade. The first night Sandy had tried to put the medicine on, but Ryan acted so terrified of him that he quickly got Kirsten. Ryan was still tense and uncomfortable with her, but at least he didn’t act so petrified.
“Ready, champ?”
“Sure.”
“All right, you need to hold onto the side of the pool, and I’ll show you how to kick your legs.”
As soon as Sandy put his hands on Ryan’s legs, he felt the boy begin to tense up and to shake.
“Ryan, it’s ok. I’m holding you, you’re not going to go underwater.”
“Please don’t. Please, let go of me…,” begged Ryan. He began to choke.
“But it’s ok, I’m holding you…,” Sandy suddenly realized that Ryan was scared of being held. He quickly took a step back from the boy.
“Ryan, everything’s fine. It’s ok. Kid, listen to me…”
Sandy reached out to touch his shoulder, but Ryan flinched back, looking at him with wide, frightened eyes, before turning around and trying frantically to get out of the pool.
“Ryan, wait,” Sandy asked. Ryan slowly turned back around and faced him. “You know what? I can do this without holding onto you. Would that be better?”
Ryan nodded.
“Good. I’ll go get the kickboard. You wait here. Okay?”
Ryan nodded again.
A few minutes after, Ryan was tightly gripping one end of the kickboard while Sandy was holding the other and instructing Ryan how to kick properly. “You’re doing great, kid!”
Sandy grinned at the boy. He could tell Ryan was having a good time. Even though his forehead was creased in concentration, there was a slight smile on his face.
“Ryan you’re doing wonderful,” interrupted Kirsten. “Sandy I think Ryan needs a break. You too have been in the pool for almost an hour.”
“We better listen to the boss, kid.” Sandy shook his head. “Women. They simply don’t understand that men are as tough as nails.”
“Come on, honey, after all that swimming, you need a snack.” Kirsten began to dry Ryan off with a towel. She drew her breath in sharply. Even through the thick towel she could feel his ribs. She looked up to meet Sandy’s concerned eyes.
“I’m gonna change.” Ryan headed towards the house.
“Sandy, it’s worse than we thought. He’s losing weight.”
“I know. I didn’t realize it was this bad until I saw him in just his trunks. He didn’t eat anything for lunch yesterday. He told me he was still full from eating a big breakfast.”
“Sandy, you should have told me. He didn’t have a big breakfast. He barely drank his milk,” reproached Kirsten.
“Maybe I would have, if you’d bothered to come home before midnight.”
Kirsten glared at him:
“Sandy, how can you say that? I explained to you that I need to finish the work with the contractors. But you should have told me.”
“I know, and I’m sorry about it, but some days I barely see you. And I know there have been days you have only seen the kids a few minutes in the morning before school.”
“I can’t help it. I have work that has to be finished. You just don’t understand the pressure I’m under.”
“I have a job too, but I spend my evenings at home. Explain that to your boss. He’s your father, isn’t he?”
“Why are you always blaming my father?” Kirsten’s voice rose.
“Because he’s the one who…” Sandy froze.
Kirsten was going to reply when she understood something was going on. She turned to see Ryan looking at them terrified.
“I’m sorry…,” he whispered before spinning around and hastily retreating into the house.
Kirsten took a deep breath:
“I’m sorry I haven’t been here during the past two weeks.”
“I’m sorry I haven’t told you,” echoed Sandy.
They hurried to Ryan’s room and found their foster son slumped against the closet’s door with his knees drawn up against his chest.
Sandy kneeled down in front of his foster son while Kirsten sat down next to him and put him on her lap. She began to stroke his hair.
“Honey, we’re sorry you saw us arguing.”
“I’m sorry,” murmured Ryan.
“Why, honey?”
“’Cause you’re fighting because of me,” whispered Ryan, his voice cracking.
“Oh Ryan, please don’t think you made us fight. You didn’t, honey! I love Sandy and he loves me, but that doesn’t change the fact that we fight every now and then. But it’s never a big deal. And having a little argument from time to time is much better than not saying anything and letting the problems grow.”
“Kid, even when parents love each other as much as we do, sometimes they have disagreement and have to talk about it. And it’s nobody’s fault. Especially not yours. We want to be sure that you know that, do you?”
Ryan merely nodded.
Kirsten and Sandy shared a frustrated sigh. They both knew that Ryan didn’t really believe them. They only hoped that over time he would understand that arguing didn’t need to violence.
“Sweetie,” Kirsten began, deciding to change the topic. “How about we go get you that snack we talked about.”
“No, I’m fine.”
Kirsten and Sandy exchanged a concerned glance.
“You didn’t eat your lunch today,” stated Sandy softly.
Ryan didn’t answer.
“Honey, do you want to eat something else for lunch? We can fix you another sort of sandwiches if you don’t want peanut butter anymore.”
“Kid, if you want to become a good swimmer, you need to preserve your strength,” added Sandy. “And that means you need to start eating better. Okay?”
“Okay,” Ryan whispered.
Kirsten gave Ryan a sweater and lead him to the kitchen:
“After your swimming lesson, you need to put something in your stomach. What do you want to eat?”
Ryan shrugged.
Kirsten put a glass of milk in front of his foster son and Sandy prepared him a bagel with cream cheese. Kirsten and Sandy couldn’t help looking at their foster son who took a bite reluctantly before putting the bagel down and wiping his eye nervously.
“Honey, do you want something else?” asked Kirsten softly.
Ryan shook his head. Sandy bit his lips:
“You know what? We could watch this Superman cartoon we just rented. Since Seth’s already seen it, we could watch it together, couldn’t we?”
He was rewarded by Ryan’s smile.
“Come on, champ!”. Sandy lead Ryan to the living room while Kirsten took the plate and the glass of milk.
A few minutes later, Ryan was sitting on the couch between his foster parents, watching Superman rescue the world. Kirsten gave him the glass of milk and he drank it quickly. Then Ryan began to eat slowly the schmeared bagel. Sandy and Kirsten exchanged a satisfied glance. It was going to take a lot a time, but they had to make their foster son eat.

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Summer turned towards the girl sitting just behind her.
“Taylor! Have you learned the poem? The one with the ass?” Summer giggled. Aesop’s so weird!”
“It’s ‘The Ass and the Grasshopper’. And what’s really important isn’t the story but the moral of the story. My dad told me that you can totally learn about yourself if you learn Aesop’s fables. And what’s the most important is that…”
“Taylor,” interrupted Summer. “This was a “yes” or “no” question!”
“So, Summer, yes, I did.”
“Good. Then tell Miss Applegate that you want to be the next one to recite it.”
“But it’s your turn. We’re going in alphabetical order, remember, and Townsend is after Roberts.”
“I know that, I’m not stupid, Taylor. But as my friend, you could ask her to recite the fable and you can explain her about the important of the ass…”
“It’s called The Ass and the Grasshopper’…wait a minute…you really consider me as your friend? That’s so nice of you. We could have a sleepover. My mom bakes the best cupcakes ever. Do you like chocolate ones? Or strawberries? Blueberries? What video would you like to watch?”
“When?...Taylor, this is important, are you gonna ask Miss Applegate to recite the poem?”
“I’d do everything for my friend. But Summer, it’s important to you to learn the poem. It’s for your soul.”
“My what?...Whatever…Listen, Taylor. If you tell Miss Applegate you want to recite the poetry, I’ll invite you to the greatest birthday swimming party ever.”
“Your birthday was in August. And I didn’t get invited.”
“You know Seth Cohen?”

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“Summer wants me to invite the weird girl with the glasses!”
“Taylor.” stated Ryan, quietly.
“What taylor?”
“That’s her name. Taylor Townsend. She’s not weird either.”
“Don’t tell me you think that she’s pretty. Because it’s hard enough to know that you think Princess Marissa Cooper is pretty.”
“Seth. It’s just her glasses which are ugly. Taylor is nice. And smart. Really smart.
“Of course she is. All gigantic nerd-balls are smart.”
“You’re smart and Luke thinks you’re a geek and a nerd.”
“Luke doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He just going to grow up to be a dumb water polo player.”
“Well, you don’t know what you’re talking about either. What did you tell Summer about inviting Taylor to the party?”
“Yes. I told her ‘yes’! Of course, I did. What else can I tell to the most beautiful girl in the entire world? Ryan, she’s got superpowers. I cannot tell her “no”. She’s my kryptonite.”
“Yeah. Sure.”

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The ‘secret swimming lessons’ went really well. Ryan was making great progress, thought Sandy while giving the kick board to the kid.
Ryan took it and began to kick.
“That’s great, Ryan. You’re doing well! Now, I’m gonna show you how to move your arms. Look at me. Ryan, I’m gonna guide your arms. I’m gonna touch your arms. Is that ok with you?”
Ryan nodded shyly and Sandy began to slowly guide the child's arms.
“That’s good. You’re doing well. Again,” he quietly instructed. He felt Ryan relax.
“You’re ready to start really swimming. At first you’re going to need wear the yellow vest that I showed you earlier. It will help you float. That way, you can kick and move your arms at the same time, without worrying about sinking. But I’m still going to need to hold on to you for just a little bit. Is that okay?”
Ryan didn’t answer.
“If you feel uncomfortable, you tell me. Immediately, ok?...I won’t be mad at you, Ryan...you know that, don’t you? ”
Ryan nodded and began floating, while letting Sandy guide him. Sandy was amazed at the boy’s quick progress.
“That’s right, keep kicking! Kid, you’re really doing it.”
“Honey, you can swim! That’s amazing!” congratulated Kirsten. “You need a rest and a snack, sweetie! There are chocolate cookies, fresh from the oven.”
She helped Ryan to dry himself and he ran upstairs to change his clothes. Kirsten waited a few seconds, then turned towards her husband.
“Sandy? Swim Vest? What are we going to make him wear when we teach him how to sail?” she asked. She couldn’t help smiling.
“He was so scared when I held his legs to teach him how to kick that I came up with the swim vest. And it worked. He’s a really quick learner. He can already swim a short distance. After four lessons! Maybe I can teach him how to surf?”
“Maybe. I hope you’ll be luckier with a surfing Ryan than with Seth.”
“That kid is such a traitor. I bottle-fed him, I changed his diapers…and he prefers sailing with your dad than surfing with me. What did I do wrong?” asked Sandy with a dramatical tone.
Kirsten burst out laughing.
“And he’s pretty good at sailing”
“I know. Life is so unfair!”