Can i have a pony now???
So,
Nick agrees if there was one of those lame ass "who had the shittiest day" contest on some radio station... today i would totally have won the soft rock prize pack. Where do i even begin to explain how shitty my day was? Well i guess the "normals" start at the begining so i will do the same.
I drank a lot this weekend, and i've come to a conclusion that i need to chill out on the drinkin. I'm not saying i'm sobering up completely i'm just saying that when i needed all day yesterday to recover from the night before, i'm seeing a pattern. Nick and i drink to much. I'm going to make a serious effort to be a social drinker not a borderline drunk. HAHAHA now granted we were at a party and people were far drunker then me, but still. It's gotta chill out for a while. Interesting side note, this friend of my brother's a outspoken lesbian Kim was there. And i got drunk and talked to her a lot, and i think it pissed nick off. He says he's cool with me liking girls as well, but i think when it's in his face he doesn't like it. But Kim turned out to be a real bitch by the end of the night. She took me aside and said she got gay vibes from nick and i that i should be careful. I laughed it off, but then when him and i were in the kitchen she came up to him, and to his face said, "ARE you GAY?" nick of course said "WHAT the fuck i'm dating sarah i'm not gay." and then snd then she said "Are you sure?" and walked out of the kitchen. I was toooo drunk to pick up on how offended he was and i guess while i was outside he vented to bunch of people at the party, and gushed a bit about loving me and said he hated KIm. Then kim in front of my brother's girlfriend walked up to nick and said "i'm gonna feel so bad for sarah when she finds out about you." Nick was just stunned and he just drank till he passed out after that. Of course when i was sober on monday i talked to him about it, he didn't like her and seemed upset to talk about it. But i just kept it simple you're not gay, i don't think you're gay you don't think you're gay... you're weird but not gay, i love you, fuck her she was drunk anyway... But it still pissed me off.. and if i see her again i'm gonna have to put her in her place.
MOVING ON TO Worse things, i had to go to work early today it was my first day back since tuesday of last week. I'm gonna have the worst paycheck this week!! MY car died in midtraffic i had to have it towed, the police had to come push it out of the traffic lanes, it cost 87 bucks to tow it and that's not even the worst part of my day. I don't know what's wrong with my car, but god pray it's nothing to bad cause i don't have any MONEY.
OK so i haven't been feeling good for like a week now, well maybe more. i don't think the antidepressents i was put on are working anymore. Well after the fun filled day i had i flipped out a little and realized i was in the midst of a panic attack. I made a doctor appt. and went right in this afternoon to talk about my freaking out. My doc was really cool, calmed me down and told me it's actually normal to need a higher dosage once you really get in the routine of takin a med. So, he uped my dosage and switched me to a form of prozac. He said he thinks this will work better then what i was on, and hell yeah it's like 70 bucks cheaper then the other one!!!!!! So, i really don't feel any better but i took the first one tonight at 6pm. The doctor said it will take like 4 days for my body to adjust to it, but i'm ok with that i was feeling great a week ago i need to feel great again you know? I'm truly sick of feeling sad, weird, nervous a lot of the time. And i don't want to rely on a medication but right now i have to, so whatever man i'm putting my hope into this med to make me feel better.
So, in closing i want a pony, no i need a pony i think it would make me feel awesome, and i could ride it, and brush it, and name it something super gay cause all my animals have gay names. hahahahaha
JUST A QUICK THOUGHT, here's a list of everything going well in my life just so i can show that not everything sucks, it just seems that way to me right now:
1. i think my mom is applying for the big loan from my school, so i should be able to move out a live ok via a college loan for my last year of school.
2. Nick stresses me out A LOT of the time i'm not gonna deny that but i really do love him, and i know he loves me back so i have that going for me.
3. None of my friends hate me.
4. I don't have to go back to college till August 28th!!!!
5. I got a "B" in my earth science class with little effort.
6. i got my lip re-peirced, which is awesome in my book.
7. I'm back up to full time so i'll be making money again in the next couple of weeks, which will RULE cause i can't afford anything right now.
OK that's all i got if i forgot something please let me know i'm on short demand when it comes to good news, gimme some more....
SARAH
Nick agrees if there was one of those lame ass "who had the shittiest day" contest on some radio station... today i would totally have won the soft rock prize pack. Where do i even begin to explain how shitty my day was? Well i guess the "normals" start at the begining so i will do the same.
I drank a lot this weekend, and i've come to a conclusion that i need to chill out on the drinkin. I'm not saying i'm sobering up completely i'm just saying that when i needed all day yesterday to recover from the night before, i'm seeing a pattern. Nick and i drink to much. I'm going to make a serious effort to be a social drinker not a borderline drunk. HAHAHA now granted we were at a party and people were far drunker then me, but still. It's gotta chill out for a while. Interesting side note, this friend of my brother's a outspoken lesbian Kim was there. And i got drunk and talked to her a lot, and i think it pissed nick off. He says he's cool with me liking girls as well, but i think when it's in his face he doesn't like it. But Kim turned out to be a real bitch by the end of the night. She took me aside and said she got gay vibes from nick and i that i should be careful. I laughed it off, but then when him and i were in the kitchen she came up to him, and to his face said, "ARE you GAY?" nick of course said "WHAT the fuck i'm dating sarah i'm not gay." and then snd then she said "Are you sure?" and walked out of the kitchen. I was toooo drunk to pick up on how offended he was and i guess while i was outside he vented to bunch of people at the party, and gushed a bit about loving me and said he hated KIm. Then kim in front of my brother's girlfriend walked up to nick and said "i'm gonna feel so bad for sarah when she finds out about you." Nick was just stunned and he just drank till he passed out after that. Of course when i was sober on monday i talked to him about it, he didn't like her and seemed upset to talk about it. But i just kept it simple you're not gay, i don't think you're gay you don't think you're gay... you're weird but not gay, i love you, fuck her she was drunk anyway... But it still pissed me off.. and if i see her again i'm gonna have to put her in her place.
MOVING ON TO Worse things, i had to go to work early today it was my first day back since tuesday of last week. I'm gonna have the worst paycheck this week!! MY car died in midtraffic i had to have it towed, the police had to come push it out of the traffic lanes, it cost 87 bucks to tow it and that's not even the worst part of my day. I don't know what's wrong with my car, but god pray it's nothing to bad cause i don't have any MONEY.
OK so i haven't been feeling good for like a week now, well maybe more. i don't think the antidepressents i was put on are working anymore. Well after the fun filled day i had i flipped out a little and realized i was in the midst of a panic attack. I made a doctor appt. and went right in this afternoon to talk about my freaking out. My doc was really cool, calmed me down and told me it's actually normal to need a higher dosage once you really get in the routine of takin a med. So, he uped my dosage and switched me to a form of prozac. He said he thinks this will work better then what i was on, and hell yeah it's like 70 bucks cheaper then the other one!!!!!! So, i really don't feel any better but i took the first one tonight at 6pm. The doctor said it will take like 4 days for my body to adjust to it, but i'm ok with that i was feeling great a week ago i need to feel great again you know? I'm truly sick of feeling sad, weird, nervous a lot of the time. And i don't want to rely on a medication but right now i have to, so whatever man i'm putting my hope into this med to make me feel better.
So, in closing i want a pony, no i need a pony i think it would make me feel awesome, and i could ride it, and brush it, and name it something super gay cause all my animals have gay names. hahahahaha
JUST A QUICK THOUGHT, here's a list of everything going well in my life just so i can show that not everything sucks, it just seems that way to me right now:
1. i think my mom is applying for the big loan from my school, so i should be able to move out a live ok via a college loan for my last year of school.
2. Nick stresses me out A LOT of the time i'm not gonna deny that but i really do love him, and i know he loves me back so i have that going for me.
3. None of my friends hate me.
4. I don't have to go back to college till August 28th!!!!
5. I got a "B" in my earth science class with little effort.
6. i got my lip re-peirced, which is awesome in my book.
7. I'm back up to full time so i'll be making money again in the next couple of weeks, which will RULE cause i can't afford anything right now.
OK that's all i got if i forgot something please let me know i'm on short demand when it comes to good news, gimme some more....
SARAH