Seeking Validation (tags #philosophy)
Originally published at Ramblings from the Flip Side (Site under construction). You can comment here or there.
Everyone wants to be relevant. It’s why we search for connections and reach for recognition. Whether it’s the trophy for a brilliant piece of acting, or a photo sitting above the words “Employee of the Month,” these tokens serve to bolster our confidence and sense of self worth. These tokens reward our quest for validation.
These moments tend to be fleeting, though, as our inner critics manage to reassert themselves the instant the euphoria begins to fade. These private voices that the rewards aren’t enough, because if we were truly fantastic, it would be more than one trinket on our mantlepiece. I believe this need is why everyone is constantly seeking validation.
I’m taking a course called Energy for Life by the Human Performance Institute, a course meant to help people discover the purpose in their life and refocus spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical energy to achieve their goal. The course prep-work includes a self-evaluation and 3-5 evaluations from other people (anonymous) to discover what the participants’ stories are (the tales we tell ourselves and other people about our lives). Interestingly, other people think of me as more confident and put together than I tend to see myself. It’s weird being told that my inner critic is doing a hatchet job on my self-esteem.
I’ve only taken the first half of the course. Part of today’s lesson was to write a mission statement of what I want out of my life. The result sounds flowery (as befits a writer), but the more I think about it, the more it resonates with me. I’m sharing it here because I want people to know why I work in database administration and why I write.
My mission is to be an extraordinary storyteller who inspires strength and courage in those around me, whose words touch, teach, and change the way we see our world-and everyone in it-for the better.
Yeah, the statement is a little pompous, but it explains a lot about me, the things I write, and the DBA work I do. It’s a good course. I recommend it to everyone, no matter what profession you practice.
So, I’ve bared my soul. Do you recognize what makes you seek validation? What is your mission in life? And are you making progress in seeing that mission fulfilled?