"Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation"
It's so strange to me how you can spend so much of your life with someone,
and after it's over.. it can feel lifetimes away, or like it never even happened.
I guess in this instance, I'm thinking about Bryant specifically...but it's a general concept.
We broke up... about wow, almost 5 years ago... 4 and a half I think.
I guess in that way it's even more odd because it feels so far away like it almost never occurred and yet when I do the math I cannot believe it's been that long now.
It's amazing to me where he and I are at now.
We don't talk and I haven't seen him in years. I hear through mutual friends how he is doing though and I honestly, couldn't be happier for him. He married a girl who seems rather perfect for him. I never did make sense. They're expecting a baby boy in the next few months I believe.
He was so broken when I left him. So angry and so lost. It's strange when you can see someone's future better then they can see it themselves. I knew I wasn't right for him, I always knew.
And look at him now....
He's a husband and soon to be a father.
It's strange to plan your life with someone, live with them and spend every day with someone for years.... and then, to only hear tid bits from mutual friends here and there.
I suppose I don't know what we'd talk about if we did talk now. It's not that I have anything to say to him really. Just strange how life works I guess.
I know eventually I'll see him again. I'll meet his wife one day and his son, Brady.
I've never regretted anything about that situation and it's such a good feeling to have always known in my heart I did what was right...even if I went about it in the wrong way.
I guess the same could be said for me. Although I don't have titles like wife or mother yet...
I've come pretty damn far from the days of being 'Bryant's girlfriend'.
I moved across the ocean to Hawaii, I graduated from college.
I'm in graduate school, going for my PhD and I'm living in California. I've done so many things I said I never would or couldn't do.
One of these days I'm going to wake up and realize I'm still alive, that I'm still worth it. That I'm still capable of great things, of love, of trust, of living.
I'm not there yet. I'm a long way from it. But I want to get there. I've got to get there.
and after it's over.. it can feel lifetimes away, or like it never even happened.
I guess in this instance, I'm thinking about Bryant specifically...but it's a general concept.
We broke up... about wow, almost 5 years ago... 4 and a half I think.
I guess in that way it's even more odd because it feels so far away like it almost never occurred and yet when I do the math I cannot believe it's been that long now.
It's amazing to me where he and I are at now.
We don't talk and I haven't seen him in years. I hear through mutual friends how he is doing though and I honestly, couldn't be happier for him. He married a girl who seems rather perfect for him. I never did make sense. They're expecting a baby boy in the next few months I believe.
He was so broken when I left him. So angry and so lost. It's strange when you can see someone's future better then they can see it themselves. I knew I wasn't right for him, I always knew.
And look at him now....
He's a husband and soon to be a father.
It's strange to plan your life with someone, live with them and spend every day with someone for years.... and then, to only hear tid bits from mutual friends here and there.
I suppose I don't know what we'd talk about if we did talk now. It's not that I have anything to say to him really. Just strange how life works I guess.
I know eventually I'll see him again. I'll meet his wife one day and his son, Brady.
I've never regretted anything about that situation and it's such a good feeling to have always known in my heart I did what was right...even if I went about it in the wrong way.
I guess the same could be said for me. Although I don't have titles like wife or mother yet...
I've come pretty damn far from the days of being 'Bryant's girlfriend'.
I moved across the ocean to Hawaii, I graduated from college.
I'm in graduate school, going for my PhD and I'm living in California. I've done so many things I said I never would or couldn't do.
One of these days I'm going to wake up and realize I'm still alive, that I'm still worth it. That I'm still capable of great things, of love, of trust, of living.
I'm not there yet. I'm a long way from it. But I want to get there. I've got to get there.