~Who Am I~ Logan/Veronica 2/? AU

Mar 19, 2006 16:40

Title: Who Am I
Author: Brandee
Pairing/Character: Logan/Veronica Lilly, mention of other 09ers
Word Count: 2,334
Rating: PG
Summary: A AU look at what Might have happened if Lilly had never died but hadn't remained friends with Veronica. Starts around the time of Lilly's 'death'.
Spoilers/Warnings: Season 1
A/N: Sorry it took a few to get this one out.. My old beta decided it was kind of important to get married in a couple weeks, silly priorities... Kidding... So yeah, Me=BetaLess.. Chapter 1

Veronica sat on her bed looking up at her father. His eyes peered down at her, and as he crossed his arms she knew he was almost ready to speak. First however he put his hand to his chin, and studied his daughter.

“Dad is there something you want to say?” She spoke smiling gently.

“Most girls grow out of that whole cutting their hair themselves thing at like four. Care to explain why you decided to try it last night?”

“Trying to find my inner child?” She tried.

“Try again?” Keith sighed.

Veronica swallowed and touched her hair, her now very short hair. The night before she had stood in her bedroom looking at the pictures of her and Lilly that wallpapered the room. One by one she took them down, each time ripping them with more force. When she had finished she realized she was crying and when her eyes went over to her and Lilly dressed just alike in one photo she let out a sharp cry and ran to the bathroom. She wasn’t sure what made her grab the scissors but before she could stop herself she saw her hair falling to the floor. The next thing she remembered was letting out a loud scream and then her parents were there, standing at the door with their mouths wide open.

“I needed a change?” Veronica shrugged looking down at the floor.

“Just be glad your mother has a friend that knows how to cut hair.” Keith Mars sighed, “One that was actually willing to come here in the middle of the night to fix that.” He spoke pointing to her hair.

“So does that mean you don’t like it?” Veronica questioned biting her lip.

Keith looked at his daughter and smiled, “I think it’s very hip.”

“Dad!” Veronica groaned. “Don’t say hip!”

“Rad?”

“Ugh!” She muttered rolling her eyes. “But you do like it?”

“Yes sweetheart I do,” Keith nodded. “It’s very becoming.”

“Thanks dad.”

“I do however want to know why you did it.” Keith frowned.

“Honestly?” Veronica questioned standing, “I didn’t want to look like Lilly anymore.”

Keith heard the sadness in his daughter’s voice. With a sigh he wrapped an arm around her, “Ok Veronica what happened?”

“We just had a fight.” She whispered. “I didn’t agree with her about some things and she went all Lilly on me. She was furious at me for not seeing the situation her way.”

“So you and Lilly are on the outs?” Keith questioned. “Would I be a horrible father if I said I’m slightly relieved you’re not spending time with Lilly right now?”

“No, you’d be Sheriff Mars.” She smiled weakly, “I don’t agree with what she did, and Lilly can’t handle it when someone disagrees with her. We just need space for awhile.”

“But you’re ok?” He questioned.

“Just peachy,” Veronica nodded faking her best grin. “I promise dad, I’m fine.”

“Veronica honey?” Lianne Mar’s sounded from the hallway.

“Yeah mom?”

Lianne appeared at the door her face full of confusion. “Veronica, why is Logan Echolls parked outside our house?” She questioned.

“Logan’s here?” Veronica asked her voice finally becoming cheery again.

“He’s outside in his vehicle, just sitting there.” Lianne nodded.

“Care to explain Veronica?” Keith questioned with an arched eyebrow. “Why is Lilly’s ex boyfriend here?”

“He’s giving me a ride to school.” Veronica smiled.

“I didn’t realize you two had ever hung out, alone.” Keith mumbled.

“Yeah well, things change.” Veronica nodded, “Don’t worry dad, we’re just friends.”

“He having a hard time at school?” Keith asked but Veronica could sense her father already knew the answer to his question.

“Yeah something like that.” Veronica spoke. “So can I go now? Let the world see the new me?” She smiled nervously.

“Yes sweetheart of course.” Keith nodded, “Go! Learn something useful.”

Veronica hugged both her parents before grabbing her things and heading out the door. When Lianne heard the door close she looked up at her husband. “She’s ok right?”

“Yeah.” Keith smiled, “She’s going to be just fine.”

**********************

Outside Logan was watching the Mar’s home as the door opened and Veronica suddenly appeared. He blinked twice at the sight in front of him. Her hair, her long blonde hair was gone cut into a short edgy style that was so unlike her. Her head hung low as she slowly walked to the Xterra and he could tell that she was terrified. Veronica always wore her emotions on her sleeve; she was so unlike Lilly in every sense. Her innocence had always been adorable to him, but now he could see that it was one of her weaknesses. When she finally opened the door to the Xterra she didn’t look at him. Instead she slipped in and clutched her books to her chest.

She was biting her lip as she stared down at her jeans, and Logan couldn’t help but smile. When she finally looked up she saw his eyes and she let out a tiny sigh.

“Hi.” She spoke shyly. “Sorry it took so long.”

“Now that’s what I’m talking about.” He laughed hitting the steering wheel with his hand. “Innocent no more.”

“Um what?” Veronica asked.

“The hair is hot.” He smiled. “Seriously hot.”

“Thanks.” Veronica blushed. “I wasn’t sure about it.”

“Seriously Veronica, it’s sexy.” He moved closer to her still smirking, “In fact, if you’d like we could just skip school all together and spend our time today doing something a little more fun?”

“Logan!” Veronica laughed smacking his arm. “Just drive.” She tried to hide the red she was sure her cheeks were showing but she knew it was impossible.

“To where my pet?” He purred.

“The school Logan!” Veronica chuckled. “Mind out of gutter Echolls!”

Logan shook his head and looked over at Veronica. He’d bring her out of her shell yet, it would be his new mission. He’d turn Veronica Mars into the little vixen he knew she could be. He needed something to do while he was being ignored by his friends and stalked by photographers. This could actually benefit both of them he smirked.

“So what made you do it?” He suddenly questioned.

“The hair?” Veronica asked. “I don’t really know, I was just standing in my room looking at pictures of me and Lil, and suddenly I had the scissors and my hair was falling to the floor.” She laughed.

“You cut your hair yourself? You are brave.” Logan chuckled lightly.

“Well, I started chopping.” Veronica smiled, “Then I realized what I was doing and I suppose I yelled so loud I frightened half the neighborhood. Anyway, Mom called a friend of hers and she came over and did damage control.”

“And here you are now, the new Veronica.”

“New Veronica?” She asked innocently. “Yeah I guess so.” Veronica nodded. “Maybe I need a new wardrobe now.” She joked. “Clothes to match the hair!”

“You should do it.” Logan agreed. “Go all out.”

“Think so?” She questioned.

“You’re not Lilly’s shadow anymore Veronica.” Logan reminded her. “You control your own life.”

“I wasn’t her shadow before.” Veronica spoke crossing her arms. “I was her friend.”

“We were all Lilly’s shadows.” Logan spoke clearly, “Everyone lives in the shadow of all that is Lilly Kane. Doesn’t matter who you are, or how much you love her, you walk behind her, and she tells you what to think, how to feel. If you dare to take a step in front of her, or question anything she does she’ll smack you down and move on to the next person waiting in line.” He informed the tiny blonde as he drove.

“You make us sound like her puppets.” Veronica frowned.

“Ding ding ding! Give that girl a prize.” Logan mused, “We are puppets in her world Veronica. It’s just that when your there, you don’t care. She’s Lilly and you love her and you want to be near her. She’s irresistible, and she knows it.”

Veronica could see the school in her sight as Logan finished speaking. She could feel her stomach growing tight. She swallowed hoping the nervousness would go away. She closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them Logan was pulling into his parking spot. She dropped her head and tried to remind herself that she would be fine. It was just school, she’d go to class pretend to listen, and repeat the pattern until the day was out. She’d eat lunch with Logan, and no one would bother them. She was in the middle of telling herself countless lies when she felt Logan’s hand touch her leg. She jumped slightly as her eyes met his.

“Hey.” He whispered with a smile so gentle she wasn’t sure where it came from. “Deep breaths, you’ll be fine.”

“Yeah?” Veronica asked her voice shaky. “Like yesterday?”

“No, it’ll be better than yesterday.” Logan promised. “You’ve got edge now.” He told her touching her short hair. “No one can touch you Mars. No one can hurt you, because you’re tougher than they are.”

“Do you actually believe that?” Veronica questioned. “Seriously?”

Logan took a deep breath. Why did she have to be so sweet and innocent? He didn’t have the patience to deal with this kind of thing. Veronica was like sugar and she needed more reassuring than he knew how to give. He’d never been good at being the nice guy that was always Duncan’s role. Now he had to figure out what exactly to say to a girl who had lost all her friends because she took up for him. “Just be yourself Ronnie.” Logan tried. “Don’t let them get to you.”

“Right, I can do that.” She nodded.

“So we’re ready?” He asked putting his hand on the door. “Just another day Veronica, you’ll be fine.”

She nodded her head and clutched her books to her chest as she opened the door. “Let’s go.”

Logan met her at her door and sighed as she looked up at him, so fragile and scared. He was really going to have to work on this girl. He knew she had it in her, and he’d just have to bring out her backbone.

They walked toward the school building when suddenly he saw Veronica freeze in place. Her eyes were staring ahead and when he followed her gaze he saw the 09ers just ahead of them. Casey, Sean and Dick were standing not far from them staring with smirks on their faces. He looked down at Veronica and then without thinking slipped his hand in hers. She looked up at him and smiled nervously almost as if she was thanking him.

“Just walk.” He told her. “Ignore them and walk.”

Veronica did as she was told. She walked beside Logan looking straight ahead. She could hear Dick behind her laughing and making jokes but she ignored him. All they had to do was make it inside the school, get to their lockers and head to class. She told herself that as long as she didn’t see Lilly she’d be fine.

“Oh look its Logan and his newest toy.” Lilly’s voice suddenly chirped behind them.

So much for avoiding Lilly.

Logan swung around and saw Lilly standing behind them wearing a crooked smile. Madison Sinclair stood next to Lilly and Logan was sure she was Lilly’s new best friend. He chuckled lightly at the thought; those two would kill each other within a week he was sure of it.

Veronica turned around slowly biting her lip as her eyes met Lilly’s. Lilly let out a gasp as her eyes widened.

“Oh my gosh!” Lilly laughed. “It’s not a new toy at all!” She giggled. “It’s just the one that Duncan threw away! Nice hair Veronica, what did you cut it in the dark?”

“Wow Lilly, that’s all you’ve got?” Veronica shrugged. “I expected more out of you.”

“I was actually just warming up.” Lilly smirked.

“I’d say you swung and struck out, how about you Ronnie?” Logan asked looking down at the small girl.

“Not her best material at all.” Veronica nodded.

“So what you two are all BFF now?” Lilly asked rolling her eyes. “Or are you Logan’s newest conquest?”

“Jealous are we?” Logan questioned. “Really Lilly, green is so not your color.” He smirked.

“Oh please! Ve-ron-i-ca only wishes she was as fabulous as me!” Lilly spoke rolling her eyes. “You two? Are just pathetic.”

“Again with the weak come backs. What’s wrong wake up on the wrong side of… wait whose bed did you wake up in again?” He questioned. “Because we never can tell with you can we Lil?”

Veronica smiled sweetly up at Logan, “Can we go in now? This is so not worth our time.”

“Of course sweet um’s.” Logan nodded. Looking over at Lilly and the three boys that had gathered beside her Logan smirked and saluted them. “Later Lilly…Lilly’s stooges.”

He threw his arm around Veronica’s shoulders and they turned quickly and proceeded toward the school building. “That…was almost fun.” Veronica snickered. “Did you see the look on her face? On all their faces?”

“Yes ma’am I did.” Logan nodded. “And I must congratulate you Miss Mars on a job well done.”

Normally Logan would have considered the exchange between Veronica and Lilly weak. It wasn’t Lilly’s best moment at all, and Veronica’s jabs were barely noticeable. However, this was Veronica Mars and just the fact that she had stood up to Lilly merited celebration. He had to admit he was quite proud of the tiny girl smiling up at him.

“I can’t believe I didn’t choke.” She smiled gleefully, “I mean I actually handled it pretty well!”

“She was seething.” Logan grinned. “Who knows Thumbelina there might be a little fire in you after all.”

“Thumbelina?” Veronica questioned looking up at him.

Logan smiled, “You know cute little innocent thing? You do know the story?”

“That was so two days ago.” She smiled, “Before I cut my hair.”

“Ah, so is it Tinkerbelle now?” He laughed. “A little sass and spice?”

“Maybe.” She shrugged. “But then you’d have to be Peter Pan.”

“We’ll stick with Thumbelina.” Logan muttered.

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