In a Better Place
It's taken me awhile to actually post the news about my cat, but I'm finally doing it. Last Wednesday morning, my kitty could hardly breathe and he did not sleep a single minute (and neither did I). It was obvious that he was suffering. At one point in the night he turned from his usual position to face me and his look just begged me for help. After that, I went up to my mom's room and simply said what we knew was coming: "it's time. He's ready to go." He was have been ready, but I wasn't ready. I knew he was just holding on for me, but putting him down the freaking hardest thing I think I've ever done. I knew it was the right decision, that he was terminal and dying, but having him die in my lap and feel him take his last breath was just devestating to me. I had been dreading and picturing that moment in my mind for a week, but nothing can really prepare you for seeing them go. God, I bawled. I'm sure they could hear me in the lobby and in the back area, but dammit, I've had that cat since I was seven! On the good side, they were incredibly nice-they gave him the tube and the sedative beforehand like I hoped they would and he was gone in less than two seconds. Proof that he was ready. They gave us momentos-as many pawprints as we wanted, a shaving of his fur, and his whiskers (as my mother requested). They asked how he came to us, and I must admit, they got a good story.
Thankfully, before I was to collapse into a depressive coma, Julia came and whisked me away for a fun night. I didn't think it would be that much fun, but any night with Julia is fun. Thanks Julia! It was slightly less harder to come back to the house, but it was still very hard. Pets have such a presence in our lives and as the vet said, they're precious. They are. They're here for so short a time and once they physically leave your life, they're still there. I walk through the house everyday and expect to see Whiskers perched in his normal positions all over the house. But I don't see him in pain-I see him as his usual loud, happy self. And it really is a relief that I don't have to remember his suffering as a significant part of his life. Even though that cat made records in the amount of vet bills needed during a single lifetime, the majority of his life was spent in happiness. I should be glad for that. Hey, I had a whole week to spend time with him before his parting and that's a lot more than some people get. Certainly more than I got with my dog. And I should be grateful.
Thankfully, before I was to collapse into a depressive coma, Julia came and whisked me away for a fun night. I didn't think it would be that much fun, but any night with Julia is fun. Thanks Julia! It was slightly less harder to come back to the house, but it was still very hard. Pets have such a presence in our lives and as the vet said, they're precious. They are. They're here for so short a time and once they physically leave your life, they're still there. I walk through the house everyday and expect to see Whiskers perched in his normal positions all over the house. But I don't see him in pain-I see him as his usual loud, happy self. And it really is a relief that I don't have to remember his suffering as a significant part of his life. Even though that cat made records in the amount of vet bills needed during a single lifetime, the majority of his life was spent in happiness. I should be glad for that. Hey, I had a whole week to spend time with him before his parting and that's a lot more than some people get. Certainly more than I got with my dog. And I should be grateful.