Thoughts on trying to write FTM Daniel
I wanted to make a few notes related to my ficathon piece. (I'm on a difficult deadline, so early readers of this may note the lack of links.)
I could never write a truly genderqueer character. So the Daniel of the awesome piece this summer, Myths to Live By, by
prehistoric_sea herself, is well beyond my reach. I will treat you as you want to be treated, and respect you in every way, but I know I lack the sensitivity to really write a character who wants to be ze, not she or he.
So I did the thing I understand best. I wrote a character who really feels like she is wrong. A mistake. A cosmic joke at his expense. And he goes to great lengths to fix the mistake as best he can.
I was very relieved when I was assured by more than one source that in fact, a lot of trans persons actually do feel this way. They don't want to be in the middle, they actively desire to be the other gender.
This is the Daniel I wrote. He sees masculine as his baseline, and things that get him closer to that, despite the fact that they might involve major surgical events, still fall out as natural for him.
melayneseahawk was concerned, for instance, when I had Daniel describe his dick as "growing" without any further explanation. But I think for him, this is sort of what happened. Obviously, the surgery helped the process, but Daniel is focused on what testosterone therapy did to his body, not on the cosmetic surgery that came later.
But he's uneasy about this, too, hence his distaste for discussing it. He wants it over and done with, behind him.
So. Hopefully, the story I produced will work and not be completely offensive to everyone.
Love,
CK
Crossposted at "http://brainofck.dreamwidth.org/282693.html"
I could never write a truly genderqueer character. So the Daniel of the awesome piece this summer, Myths to Live By, by
prehistoric_sea herself, is well beyond my reach. I will treat you as you want to be treated, and respect you in every way, but I know I lack the sensitivity to really write a character who wants to be ze, not she or he.
So I did the thing I understand best. I wrote a character who really feels like she is wrong. A mistake. A cosmic joke at his expense. And he goes to great lengths to fix the mistake as best he can.
I was very relieved when I was assured by more than one source that in fact, a lot of trans persons actually do feel this way. They don't want to be in the middle, they actively desire to be the other gender.
This is the Daniel I wrote. He sees masculine as his baseline, and things that get him closer to that, despite the fact that they might involve major surgical events, still fall out as natural for him.
melayneseahawk was concerned, for instance, when I had Daniel describe his dick as "growing" without any further explanation. But I think for him, this is sort of what happened. Obviously, the surgery helped the process, but Daniel is focused on what testosterone therapy did to his body, not on the cosmetic surgery that came later.
But he's uneasy about this, too, hence his distaste for discussing it. He wants it over and done with, behind him.
So. Hopefully, the story I produced will work and not be completely offensive to everyone.
Love,
CK
Crossposted at "http://brainofck.dreamwidth.org/282693.html"