It's always been a bizarre journey, I suppose.
Hello Livejournal.
I don't really read here, and the numbers of readers have diminished. But I like that. I know who may come across this post, and I'm really ok with those people. They are great, despite what a terrible friend I am to all of them.
Life is a funny thing.
5 months ago I broke up with my girlfriend of almost 3 years. It needed to happen. The past 5 months have been a wild, crazy, heart ripping and exciting time. After enough resistance, I was like a slingshot- determined to do all the things I loved with the passion I've always wanted, and I could have that now that I was free.
The first week after we broke up, I set foot in a recording studio for The Bullet Holes' new CD. Our last CD was recorded in the few months before that relationship began... this one was recorded in the few months after. This project became my baby, my coping mechanism. I have pushed, forced, worked, at this project for 5 months now. I have taken it through every goddamn stage it needed to... from driving all over perth to borrow microphones, through to writing press releases.... from organizing photo shoots, through to budgeting marketing plans, applying for grants through to selecting the songs in the first place!
And it's crunch time. I'm terrified that we won't get enough people to Amps to impress the venue owners. I think we'll be ok, but the idea of an empty room there is still scary. We have 2 and a half weeks until it's all done. Project over. CD out. Then what?
This has been my distraction, in ways. And I believe it's healthy. Unlike her distraction. He's charming, perhaps even just what she wanted. But he's going to face the same horrible story-ending if she doesn't DO something about her methods. I didn't go through 3 years of that to watch her handball her life down the same alley way that left me gasping for air.
But it's not my call anymore. Suppose we can only be responsible for ourselves and our own decisions. But there I am, the relationally 'healthy' one, the one who I believe is capable of walking out from there and into something that won't be fucked up... but I don't. I'm still looking at my history page: 2 girls dated, 2 girls kissed. This 5 months for me was about ME.
I've recorded a CD that effin' rocks.
I've been acted in near on 14 different film projects.
I've met heaps and heaps of people, made some wicked friends.
I've discovered what makes me come alive.
I've come alive.
Music. Acting. My two loves. And I'm doing it, man! I'm doing them both! I'm owning it! Owning my life.
*sigh*
Ohwell.
The thing is-- this CD is out in 2 and half weeks. It's like giving birth. 5 months of labor. I will be so frikken proud of this product, but I'm a bit scared of the 'what now?' that will follow.
Meh.
Cross that bridge when we get to it, aye? That's my new motto...
I don't really read here, and the numbers of readers have diminished. But I like that. I know who may come across this post, and I'm really ok with those people. They are great, despite what a terrible friend I am to all of them.
Life is a funny thing.
5 months ago I broke up with my girlfriend of almost 3 years. It needed to happen. The past 5 months have been a wild, crazy, heart ripping and exciting time. After enough resistance, I was like a slingshot- determined to do all the things I loved with the passion I've always wanted, and I could have that now that I was free.
The first week after we broke up, I set foot in a recording studio for The Bullet Holes' new CD. Our last CD was recorded in the few months before that relationship began... this one was recorded in the few months after. This project became my baby, my coping mechanism. I have pushed, forced, worked, at this project for 5 months now. I have taken it through every goddamn stage it needed to... from driving all over perth to borrow microphones, through to writing press releases.... from organizing photo shoots, through to budgeting marketing plans, applying for grants through to selecting the songs in the first place!
And it's crunch time. I'm terrified that we won't get enough people to Amps to impress the venue owners. I think we'll be ok, but the idea of an empty room there is still scary. We have 2 and a half weeks until it's all done. Project over. CD out. Then what?
This has been my distraction, in ways. And I believe it's healthy. Unlike her distraction. He's charming, perhaps even just what she wanted. But he's going to face the same horrible story-ending if she doesn't DO something about her methods. I didn't go through 3 years of that to watch her handball her life down the same alley way that left me gasping for air.
But it's not my call anymore. Suppose we can only be responsible for ourselves and our own decisions. But there I am, the relationally 'healthy' one, the one who I believe is capable of walking out from there and into something that won't be fucked up... but I don't. I'm still looking at my history page: 2 girls dated, 2 girls kissed. This 5 months for me was about ME.
I've recorded a CD that effin' rocks.
I've been acted in near on 14 different film projects.
I've met heaps and heaps of people, made some wicked friends.
I've discovered what makes me come alive.
I've come alive.
Music. Acting. My two loves. And I'm doing it, man! I'm doing them both! I'm owning it! Owning my life.
*sigh*
Ohwell.
The thing is-- this CD is out in 2 and half weeks. It's like giving birth. 5 months of labor. I will be so frikken proud of this product, but I'm a bit scared of the 'what now?' that will follow.
Meh.
Cross that bridge when we get to it, aye? That's my new motto...