If home is where the heart is then I'm out of place...
Lord help me stay strong as I usually am and be the man I want to be formed into. I am thankfull for the blessings that you have brought into my life and continue to do. I strive to love you more and more and trust that you will carry me through anything that life throws my way. I read this scripture tonight and I wish I could find what you desire for me to do. What would honor you most and make a difference.
Mat 21: 18
Now in the morning as he returned into the city, he hungered.
Mat 21:19
And when he saw a fig tree in the way, he came to it, and found nothing thereon, but leaves only, and said unto it, Let no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever. And presently the fig tree withered away.
Mat 21:20
And when the disciples saw [it], they marvelled, saying, How soon is the fig tree withered away!
Mat 21:21
Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this [which is done] to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.
Mat 21:22
And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.
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A close friend of mine was almost raped tonight by a truck driver. I literally felt my heart drop when I heard that, I couldn't beleive that yet again she had to be put into this type situation. I know she isn't the best person in the world but I try to tell her that you can help and you alone can change everything. Please continue to watch over rachels grandfather and his health. Thank you so much for filling me up with this feeling that I get/have. I yearn to do something ANYTHING that makes some better. I feel so useless when I sit there and hear the pain that my friends are going through and all I want is to take it away............put it on me.......do something. Tina maybe just was having a bad day but I've never......EVER heard her cry before and that cuts straight to the bone hearing someone like that break down. I used to picture has as this invincible wall of a person that was so strong. I still think she's strong and a flat out amazing person. At the same time I am concerned and wish she would see that shes worth so much more then she thinks. I wish she'd open her eyes really and look inside when she looks inthe mirror. She is attractive yes, but on the inside she's worth so much more and you already know this. Tina if you read this no matter what you see thatmight not suit your likings, I see something completely different. If you read this just know that when I look I see inside and out and I am anything but disgusted. I want to have you in my corner no matter what the situation be and I'd like to be in yours also.
Tonight at Genesis rodney talked about being a true worshipper and who really put time into worship. Do you just go home and put aside reading your bible or praying. How much time do you spend on myspace or TV, or just anything. I know I don't spend enough time reading and learning. I do try to make sure its everynight though. Some nights I may take only 3 miniutes and when I open up the bible I see a verse right there. Some nights it make take at least an hour. I just want to know without a doubt that I am the best person I can be. I want to know that when everything comes to an end I will stand up amongst everyone and know that I'm going home. And it still hurts so bad taht deavnsgone.WHy did she have to go I just dont understand, she was one of theonly perople in my family that really truly cared so much about me that she'd do anything. I would rather her be here then me. I would rather seeher for one more day then Isd I dont know I just had so many times I could've called or visited her at work. Yet I didn't, I took for granted this amazing woman that was like a big sister to me, I never though she'd be gone so soon. Everytime I hear "I can only Imagine"and “Homesick” I think of her.
I need sleep.
Mat 21: 18
Now in the morning as he returned into the city, he hungered.
Mat 21:19
And when he saw a fig tree in the way, he came to it, and found nothing thereon, but leaves only, and said unto it, Let no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever. And presently the fig tree withered away.
Mat 21:20
And when the disciples saw [it], they marvelled, saying, How soon is the fig tree withered away!
Mat 21:21
Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this [which is done] to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.
Mat 21:22
And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.
_______________________________________________
A close friend of mine was almost raped tonight by a truck driver. I literally felt my heart drop when I heard that, I couldn't beleive that yet again she had to be put into this type situation. I know she isn't the best person in the world but I try to tell her that you can help and you alone can change everything. Please continue to watch over rachels grandfather and his health. Thank you so much for filling me up with this feeling that I get/have. I yearn to do something ANYTHING that makes some better. I feel so useless when I sit there and hear the pain that my friends are going through and all I want is to take it away............put it on me.......do something. Tina maybe just was having a bad day but I've never......EVER heard her cry before and that cuts straight to the bone hearing someone like that break down. I used to picture has as this invincible wall of a person that was so strong. I still think she's strong and a flat out amazing person. At the same time I am concerned and wish she would see that shes worth so much more then she thinks. I wish she'd open her eyes really and look inside when she looks inthe mirror. She is attractive yes, but on the inside she's worth so much more and you already know this. Tina if you read this no matter what you see thatmight not suit your likings, I see something completely different. If you read this just know that when I look I see inside and out and I am anything but disgusted. I want to have you in my corner no matter what the situation be and I'd like to be in yours also.
Tonight at Genesis rodney talked about being a true worshipper and who really put time into worship. Do you just go home and put aside reading your bible or praying. How much time do you spend on myspace or TV, or just anything. I know I don't spend enough time reading and learning. I do try to make sure its everynight though. Some nights I may take only 3 miniutes and when I open up the bible I see a verse right there. Some nights it make take at least an hour. I just want to know without a doubt that I am the best person I can be. I want to know that when everything comes to an end I will stand up amongst everyone and know that I'm going home. And it still hurts so bad taht deavnsgone.WHy did she have to go I just dont understand, she was one of theonly perople in my family that really truly cared so much about me that she'd do anything. I would rather her be here then me. I would rather seeher for one more day then Isd I dont know I just had so many times I could've called or visited her at work. Yet I didn't, I took for granted this amazing woman that was like a big sister to me, I never though she'd be gone so soon. Everytime I hear "I can only Imagine"and “Homesick” I think of her.
I need sleep.