I seriously cannot
As you might know, Trainer Robert sent me a request to review his story. It's all fun and lulz until you have to critique him seriously.
An excerpt!
Welcome to the world of Pokemon. Where wonderful creatures roam around the world. Adaptin to many changes of nature and life. These creatures are called. "POKEMON" As a flock of Pidgeys started taking their flock to the skys with other flying pokemon with them as they soar through the clear sunny skys.
While doing so it showed Spearows swooping down and up to the skys along with many others as the scenary then pans to a forest filled with many pokemon. "The creatures that inhabitate these way of life have many types of their kind. They can live in caves, open grass forests and oceans." With that showed more of the pokemon in the woods who are called Primape,Weedle and Caterpies. then all of the sudden everything goes black.
Then pans out to a Pokemon trainer who is 10 years old. Old enough to have a certificate to go on his pokemon journey and take on the elite four. That Trainer name is. "Robert, Dinner is ready" His mom shouted.
Is this a reviewing test? If I successfully review his story, do I get into the Guild of Reviewers? I hear you got pie in them guilds.
I highly, highly, HIGHLY recommended someone to proofread his work in one of his author's cafe threads because his story is bordering on illegibility. I know I HAVE to comment on the mechanics of his story because, well, LOOK AT IT, but every time someone tries to comment on it, he rages. I quote:
I've been writing for 9 friken years! 9 FRIKEN YEARS!
I knwo your trying to be nice and all. BUT your making it hard for me, to even post. This is a FICTIONAL blasted story, NOT a novel. Not some educational marketing, or world reknown speech for america.
I will say it once, and I will say it again! I ALWAYS, tend to have bad chapters with a new story. If you let me, just get to friken ch.9 You'll see things get better.
If you say english, aint my nature again. I won't even bother commenting to you.
I might as well, bother to post the rest. Since all I'm gonna get is the same resault>_> Your not even highlighting what is wrong. Thats not much of criticizing.
I mean, he has a point. No one has specifically pointed out what's wrong. Cursive hand writing. It might be because there's at least one thing wrong in each sentence and doing that would take, oh, say, five years. >_> But the whiny paragraphs before that are just a complete turn off to me. Before I started accepting fan fic review requests, I chose stories where I knew the author's would be "okay" with criticism and would make an attempt to improve in later chapters. But this guy ... I mean, I think he'd be okay with it as long as I specifically pointed out what is wrong, but like I said, that would take forever, and I don't have forever. I could point out certain parts and use them as an example to explain the overall rule, but even that would take me quite some time, and I'm not sure he'd understand anyway.
I know he wants a review on the plot, so I guess I could ignore the mistakes (somehow). Too bad I can barely read it. I know I can't just ignore the mistakes; I know my reviews are setting an example for other reviewers, so what would that say about me if I ignore the more obvious problem in his story?
I could refuse his request on the account that I can't read it, but then I feel like a bitch. He needs the help.
I could ignore him, but that's a bitchier move and he'll just keep VMing/PMing me anyway. To be fair, I told him that I had a lot to review (semi true) and there's a chance I might not be able to read his story because of that. But ... x_X
I could start out telling the poor sweetie that he needs someone who has a better handle on the English language to proofread and correct his errors and perhaps edit some huge excerpts for him before diving into the story. But then I run into the problem that his writing makes my brain hurt and he wants me to review chapter twelve, meaning I have to, at the very least, skim eleven chapters.
I don't know. I know I can't ignore him. Any tips?
Also, I'm tired of reading legendary fics in some cataclysmic battle to save/destroy humanity. Sigh. Yes, I know I messed up that sentence. I'm not changing it because it sounds lulzy and it's kind of true. My humanity, anyway.
An excerpt!
Welcome to the world of Pokemon. Where wonderful creatures roam around the world. Adaptin to many changes of nature and life. These creatures are called. "POKEMON" As a flock of Pidgeys started taking their flock to the skys with other flying pokemon with them as they soar through the clear sunny skys.
While doing so it showed Spearows swooping down and up to the skys along with many others as the scenary then pans to a forest filled with many pokemon. "The creatures that inhabitate these way of life have many types of their kind. They can live in caves, open grass forests and oceans." With that showed more of the pokemon in the woods who are called Primape,Weedle and Caterpies. then all of the sudden everything goes black.
Then pans out to a Pokemon trainer who is 10 years old. Old enough to have a certificate to go on his pokemon journey and take on the elite four. That Trainer name is. "Robert, Dinner is ready" His mom shouted.
Is this a reviewing test? If I successfully review his story, do I get into the Guild of Reviewers? I hear you got pie in them guilds.
I highly, highly, HIGHLY recommended someone to proofread his work in one of his author's cafe threads because his story is bordering on illegibility. I know I HAVE to comment on the mechanics of his story because, well, LOOK AT IT, but every time someone tries to comment on it, he rages. I quote:
I've been writing for 9 friken years! 9 FRIKEN YEARS!
I knwo your trying to be nice and all. BUT your making it hard for me, to even post. This is a FICTIONAL blasted story, NOT a novel. Not some educational marketing, or world reknown speech for america.
I will say it once, and I will say it again! I ALWAYS, tend to have bad chapters with a new story. If you let me, just get to friken ch.9 You'll see things get better.
If you say english, aint my nature again. I won't even bother commenting to you.
I might as well, bother to post the rest. Since all I'm gonna get is the same resault>_> Your not even highlighting what is wrong. Thats not much of criticizing.
I mean, he has a point. No one has specifically pointed out what's wrong. Cursive hand writing. It might be because there's at least one thing wrong in each sentence and doing that would take, oh, say, five years. >_> But the whiny paragraphs before that are just a complete turn off to me. Before I started accepting fan fic review requests, I chose stories where I knew the author's would be "okay" with criticism and would make an attempt to improve in later chapters. But this guy ... I mean, I think he'd be okay with it as long as I specifically pointed out what is wrong, but like I said, that would take forever, and I don't have forever. I could point out certain parts and use them as an example to explain the overall rule, but even that would take me quite some time, and I'm not sure he'd understand anyway.
I know he wants a review on the plot, so I guess I could ignore the mistakes (somehow). Too bad I can barely read it. I know I can't just ignore the mistakes; I know my reviews are setting an example for other reviewers, so what would that say about me if I ignore the more obvious problem in his story?
I could refuse his request on the account that I can't read it, but then I feel like a bitch. He needs the help.
I could ignore him, but that's a bitchier move and he'll just keep VMing/PMing me anyway. To be fair, I told him that I had a lot to review (semi true) and there's a chance I might not be able to read his story because of that. But ... x_X
I could start out telling the poor sweetie that he needs someone who has a better handle on the English language to proofread and correct his errors and perhaps edit some huge excerpts for him before diving into the story. But then I run into the problem that his writing makes my brain hurt and he wants me to review chapter twelve, meaning I have to, at the very least, skim eleven chapters.
I don't know. I know I can't ignore him. Any tips?
Also, I'm tired of reading legendary fics in some cataclysmic battle to save/destroy humanity. Sigh. Yes, I know I messed up that sentence. I'm not changing it because it sounds lulzy and it's kind of true. My humanity, anyway.