Ultimatum
Title: Ultimatum
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: GTOP
Genre: drama/angst
Summary: Out of options, Jiyong was forced to give Seunghyun an ultimatum.
A/n: Idea taken from ymo1557 's challenge. Prompt #6: GD/TOP - addiction.
Jiyong was smart - much smarter than Seunghyun gave him credit for, and that hurt. More than the lies he heard pass his hyung’s lips. More than the countless promises his boyfriend insisted on making despite knowing full well he would never keep them. Simply because Seunghyun thought he could get away with it. He would just lay on the couch with his head in Jiyong’s lap acting all cute and sexy at the same time as he stared up into his boyfriend’s eyes and lie straight through his teeth without much of a second thought.
But Jiyong wasn’t stupid.
The leader noticed how wound up the rapper would be, so easily agitated by the maknae’s antics that the younger male began to avoid him in fear of facing an out lash of anger that Seunghyun seemed to be carrying around. In fact it was like that with all of the members of the popular pop group - as though they were skating on thin ice whenever it came to interacting with him. Even Jiyong found himself being in the same position with Seunghyun and only after the rapper would return from wandering off on his own for a while with his breath smelling all fresh and minty would he be a bit more normal.
Even when they kissed Seunghyun’s mouth just tasted different. It wasn’t some new flavor of toothpaste Jiyong knew Seunghyun wasn’t using or a new favorite gum he loved not chewing on. Sure Jiyong was no longer getting those late night calls from bartenders whom he knew on a first name’s basis telling him to pick up a very drunk Seunghyun. Nor was he coming home to find his boyfriend passed out next to the front door because he couldn’t find his keys, which were more often than not in his pocket. But still, Jiyong wasn’t stupid.
The slight slur to his words whenever Seunghyun opened his mouth wasn’t some twisted version of swagger every rapper tried so hard to emulate. The stagger in his steps whenever he walked around on stage wasn’t just his way of dancing. Fuck that. Everyone could come with a myriad of reasons to explain Seunghyun’s behavior but to Jiyong they were all excuses. Mere cover ups to the real reason why Seunghyun was like this.
But Seunghyun had promised him. That is only after getting a tube shoved down his throat as a result from partying a little too hard followed by being subjected to getting pricked and prodded with needles to flush his veins out with IV fluids. Only then did he finally have the sense to listen to Jiyong’s incessant begging and made the vow to quit. Everything, however, came to an earth shattering halt, a slap in the face by reality so to speak when Jiyong came home earlier than expected from a photo shoot only to find Seunghyun sitting on the couch with a half-empty bottle of Jack on the table before him. It was clearer than crystal then, no more excuses or cover-up necessary. No more beating around the bush or turning to look the other way.
“What the hell is this?” Jiyong shouted, holding the bottle of amber whisky in the air. It was a stupid question; the answer obvious from the inebriated state of his boyfriend who lightly swayed on his unbalanced feet, but one Jiyong felt compelled to ask.
What was even worse was the response he got from Seunghyun. “It’s not mine.” He so idiotically stated as if the mere scent of alcohol on his breath wouldn’t give his boyfriend the answer he was looking for.
“Well then whose is it?” Jiyong asked, turning around just to entertain the idea that there might have been someone else in the otherwise empty apartment. “Because the only person in here is you.” With Jiyong’s back to him Seunghyun lunged forward, his mind set on obtaining the bottle of Jack from his lover’s hands but stumbled on his own feet and fell backward onto the couch. So close, Seunghyun thought. The pads of his fingers were wet from when they grazed the chilled glass of the bottle sliding against the condensing water droplets only moments before he found himself somehow laying flat on the couch.
Jiyong stared down at Seunghyun in all his pathetic glory and sighed. “Stop lying.” Jiyong said, his voice a strained whisper. Seunghyun’s eyes slowly traveled toward him, the corners of his lips curling up into a lazy smile. That sounded nice, Seunghyun thought, no more lies. The deep-voiced rapper was fed up with hiding and lying to Jiyong as much as the other was tired of hearing them, but it was the smile plastered on Seunghyun’s face that sickened him. “You’re drinking again.” It wasn’t a question demurely asked while Jiyong gazed lovingly into his lover’s eyes as he had done countless of times before. No, it was a statement that dripped with nothing but disgust and disappointment; an announcement that finally put Seunghyun’s hidden actions into words. “You promised me, hyung. You told me you would quit.”
“I did.” Seunghyun blurted out.
“Oh really?” The other quipped, waving the bottle of liquor around. “Is this part of your recovery too?”
Disappointment. It was the one emotion Jiyong never failed at expressing whenever he felt like it was justified. It was also the one emotion Seunghyun hated evoking in the other. “I tried Ji, I really did.” He started to explain, sitting up on the couch. “And I managed too - for a while.” His paused to lick his lips, his throat was dry and his entire body was itching to get his hands on that bottle again. “But then things started to get all crazy with planning for the new album and then the never ending parties where all anyone ever did was drink. Maybe - maybe I’m just weak.” His hands trembled as he threaded his fingers through his hair combing the unruly strands away from his face. “I know it’s a horrible excuse, you work as much as me. Shit, you work harder and you’re doing just fine.”
“I’m far from perfect.” Jiyong quickly interjected.
“I never said you were,” Seunghyun replied, his brow furrowed. “But we’re different Ji. You write whenever you need to relax, I-”
“Drink.” The other chimed in, wanting so badly for Seunghyun to disagree with his choice of words but instead the elder merely sighed..
“You don’t understand, Ji. The calm and suave TOP that everybody wants to see, I can’t be him without it. My entire image relies on it.”
Jiyong shut his eyes, shaking his head from left to right. “Bullshit.” He refused to believe what his boyfriend was trying to tell him was true.
“Come on Ji, you know the industry better than anyone. It’s all about having the right image, and have you seen some of the new groups? Some of those kids are insanely good - I can’t afford to be just Choi Seunghyun and expect to be successful. There’s no room for him in this life, not anymore.”
Seunghyun’s candid confession pained Jiyong more than the elder could register in his current state. “I guess that means there’s no room for me in your life either.”
“What are you talking about?” Seunghyun looked up at the young man before him, the man he called his best friend, the only man he ever loved so deeply. “Of course there’s room for you in my life, there will always be room for you.”
“No,” Jiyong half-heartedly replied, “there isn’t.” His hand tightened around the neck of the bottle, the sole source of all his problems. “I need Seunghyun. I love Choi Seunghyun the person, not TOP the rapper. What happened to you? You used to always be about the music, about bettering yourself as a man. What happened to all of that?” Jiyong’s voice quivered with each word. He knew where the conversation was heading - it was one he had played out in his head countless of times. The one he hoped and prayed he would never have to have with Seunghyun. “You want to be rich and famous that badly? You crave to be on the top that much? Then fine, but you’re going to have to do it without me.”
“Wait, what?” This had to be a joke, the man thought, wishing for once that he hadn’t drank the first half of the bottle of whisky so fast when the room began to spin after he stood up to his feet quickly.
“I love you,” Jiyong affirmed. “So fucking much, and it’s times like this where I think in this relationship I’m the one who loves you more than you love me. But I can’t do this. I don’t want to live without the Seunghyun you are trying to so hard not to be, and I certainly don’t want to live with a drunk."
The two stood unmoving for what seemed like eons, their eyes engaged in a silent battle. And like the endless amount of lies and promises he never intended to keep, Seunghyun knew he would get away with it. He would call Jiyong’s bluff, because just like he said, Jiyong loved Seunghyun - too much to just walk out on him. Jiyong shut his eyes and exhaled slowly, a move akin to accepting defeat in the eyes of Seunghyun, but the blank look in his boyfriend’s eyes when he finally opened them told the elder otherwise. Jiyong returned the bottle of Jack Daniels back onto the small wooden coffee table. “It’s your choice,” he said, placing his set of keys to the apartment they shared next to the bottle before walking out of the apartment.
Jiyong was smart, much smarter than Seunghyun gave him credit for. Smart enough to know that Seunghyun would only get help when he’s lost everything. Call it foolish, but Jiyong could only hope that he was Seunghyun’s everything.
Word count: 1659
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: GTOP
Genre: drama/angst
Summary: Out of options, Jiyong was forced to give Seunghyun an ultimatum.
A/n: Idea taken from ymo1557 's challenge. Prompt #6: GD/TOP - addiction.
Jiyong was smart - much smarter than Seunghyun gave him credit for, and that hurt. More than the lies he heard pass his hyung’s lips. More than the countless promises his boyfriend insisted on making despite knowing full well he would never keep them. Simply because Seunghyun thought he could get away with it. He would just lay on the couch with his head in Jiyong’s lap acting all cute and sexy at the same time as he stared up into his boyfriend’s eyes and lie straight through his teeth without much of a second thought.
But Jiyong wasn’t stupid.
The leader noticed how wound up the rapper would be, so easily agitated by the maknae’s antics that the younger male began to avoid him in fear of facing an out lash of anger that Seunghyun seemed to be carrying around. In fact it was like that with all of the members of the popular pop group - as though they were skating on thin ice whenever it came to interacting with him. Even Jiyong found himself being in the same position with Seunghyun and only after the rapper would return from wandering off on his own for a while with his breath smelling all fresh and minty would he be a bit more normal.
Even when they kissed Seunghyun’s mouth just tasted different. It wasn’t some new flavor of toothpaste Jiyong knew Seunghyun wasn’t using or a new favorite gum he loved not chewing on. Sure Jiyong was no longer getting those late night calls from bartenders whom he knew on a first name’s basis telling him to pick up a very drunk Seunghyun. Nor was he coming home to find his boyfriend passed out next to the front door because he couldn’t find his keys, which were more often than not in his pocket. But still, Jiyong wasn’t stupid.
The slight slur to his words whenever Seunghyun opened his mouth wasn’t some twisted version of swagger every rapper tried so hard to emulate. The stagger in his steps whenever he walked around on stage wasn’t just his way of dancing. Fuck that. Everyone could come with a myriad of reasons to explain Seunghyun’s behavior but to Jiyong they were all excuses. Mere cover ups to the real reason why Seunghyun was like this.
But Seunghyun had promised him. That is only after getting a tube shoved down his throat as a result from partying a little too hard followed by being subjected to getting pricked and prodded with needles to flush his veins out with IV fluids. Only then did he finally have the sense to listen to Jiyong’s incessant begging and made the vow to quit. Everything, however, came to an earth shattering halt, a slap in the face by reality so to speak when Jiyong came home earlier than expected from a photo shoot only to find Seunghyun sitting on the couch with a half-empty bottle of Jack on the table before him. It was clearer than crystal then, no more excuses or cover-up necessary. No more beating around the bush or turning to look the other way.
“What the hell is this?” Jiyong shouted, holding the bottle of amber whisky in the air. It was a stupid question; the answer obvious from the inebriated state of his boyfriend who lightly swayed on his unbalanced feet, but one Jiyong felt compelled to ask.
What was even worse was the response he got from Seunghyun. “It’s not mine.” He so idiotically stated as if the mere scent of alcohol on his breath wouldn’t give his boyfriend the answer he was looking for.
“Well then whose is it?” Jiyong asked, turning around just to entertain the idea that there might have been someone else in the otherwise empty apartment. “Because the only person in here is you.” With Jiyong’s back to him Seunghyun lunged forward, his mind set on obtaining the bottle of Jack from his lover’s hands but stumbled on his own feet and fell backward onto the couch. So close, Seunghyun thought. The pads of his fingers were wet from when they grazed the chilled glass of the bottle sliding against the condensing water droplets only moments before he found himself somehow laying flat on the couch.
Jiyong stared down at Seunghyun in all his pathetic glory and sighed. “Stop lying.” Jiyong said, his voice a strained whisper. Seunghyun’s eyes slowly traveled toward him, the corners of his lips curling up into a lazy smile. That sounded nice, Seunghyun thought, no more lies. The deep-voiced rapper was fed up with hiding and lying to Jiyong as much as the other was tired of hearing them, but it was the smile plastered on Seunghyun’s face that sickened him. “You’re drinking again.” It wasn’t a question demurely asked while Jiyong gazed lovingly into his lover’s eyes as he had done countless of times before. No, it was a statement that dripped with nothing but disgust and disappointment; an announcement that finally put Seunghyun’s hidden actions into words. “You promised me, hyung. You told me you would quit.”
“I did.” Seunghyun blurted out.
“Oh really?” The other quipped, waving the bottle of liquor around. “Is this part of your recovery too?”
Disappointment. It was the one emotion Jiyong never failed at expressing whenever he felt like it was justified. It was also the one emotion Seunghyun hated evoking in the other. “I tried Ji, I really did.” He started to explain, sitting up on the couch. “And I managed too - for a while.” His paused to lick his lips, his throat was dry and his entire body was itching to get his hands on that bottle again. “But then things started to get all crazy with planning for the new album and then the never ending parties where all anyone ever did was drink. Maybe - maybe I’m just weak.” His hands trembled as he threaded his fingers through his hair combing the unruly strands away from his face. “I know it’s a horrible excuse, you work as much as me. Shit, you work harder and you’re doing just fine.”
“I’m far from perfect.” Jiyong quickly interjected.
“I never said you were,” Seunghyun replied, his brow furrowed. “But we’re different Ji. You write whenever you need to relax, I-”
“Drink.” The other chimed in, wanting so badly for Seunghyun to disagree with his choice of words but instead the elder merely sighed..
“You don’t understand, Ji. The calm and suave TOP that everybody wants to see, I can’t be him without it. My entire image relies on it.”
Jiyong shut his eyes, shaking his head from left to right. “Bullshit.” He refused to believe what his boyfriend was trying to tell him was true.
“Come on Ji, you know the industry better than anyone. It’s all about having the right image, and have you seen some of the new groups? Some of those kids are insanely good - I can’t afford to be just Choi Seunghyun and expect to be successful. There’s no room for him in this life, not anymore.”
Seunghyun’s candid confession pained Jiyong more than the elder could register in his current state. “I guess that means there’s no room for me in your life either.”
“What are you talking about?” Seunghyun looked up at the young man before him, the man he called his best friend, the only man he ever loved so deeply. “Of course there’s room for you in my life, there will always be room for you.”
“No,” Jiyong half-heartedly replied, “there isn’t.” His hand tightened around the neck of the bottle, the sole source of all his problems. “I need Seunghyun. I love Choi Seunghyun the person, not TOP the rapper. What happened to you? You used to always be about the music, about bettering yourself as a man. What happened to all of that?” Jiyong’s voice quivered with each word. He knew where the conversation was heading - it was one he had played out in his head countless of times. The one he hoped and prayed he would never have to have with Seunghyun. “You want to be rich and famous that badly? You crave to be on the top that much? Then fine, but you’re going to have to do it without me.”
“Wait, what?” This had to be a joke, the man thought, wishing for once that he hadn’t drank the first half of the bottle of whisky so fast when the room began to spin after he stood up to his feet quickly.
“I love you,” Jiyong affirmed. “So fucking much, and it’s times like this where I think in this relationship I’m the one who loves you more than you love me. But I can’t do this. I don’t want to live without the Seunghyun you are trying to so hard not to be, and I certainly don’t want to live with a drunk."
The two stood unmoving for what seemed like eons, their eyes engaged in a silent battle. And like the endless amount of lies and promises he never intended to keep, Seunghyun knew he would get away with it. He would call Jiyong’s bluff, because just like he said, Jiyong loved Seunghyun - too much to just walk out on him. Jiyong shut his eyes and exhaled slowly, a move akin to accepting defeat in the eyes of Seunghyun, but the blank look in his boyfriend’s eyes when he finally opened them told the elder otherwise. Jiyong returned the bottle of Jack Daniels back onto the small wooden coffee table. “It’s your choice,” he said, placing his set of keys to the apartment they shared next to the bottle before walking out of the apartment.
Jiyong was smart, much smarter than Seunghyun gave him credit for. Smart enough to know that Seunghyun would only get help when he’s lost everything. Call it foolish, but Jiyong could only hope that he was Seunghyun’s everything.
Word count: 1659