Comments | bpthought: Alive!

bpthought

Alive!

Sep 04, 2007 10:36

Im finally in a place where I can dream big dreams. For so long, I was bogged down with all this stuff -- physical stuff, emotional stuff, spiritual stuff -- but now I have some clarity and can get everything in order...my financial life...my home life...my everything. I couldnt dream my dreams before because my insides were too cluttered. And ( Read more... )

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mujernoble September 4 2007, 14:55:02 UTC

Are you VERBALLY telling this dude this or are they just thoughts. You might want to make it clear to him how you feel... if you don't he'll keep worrying the crap out of you...lol. You want me to do it... I promise you he will stop calling you as much...LOL!

bpthought September 4 2007, 15:03:50 UTC

Yep. I have verbally told him.
The man l-i-t-e-r-a-l-l-y calls me 8...9...10 times a DAY... while Im at work...at church...on dates...oknotondates. But he will come ring my bell and say "What you doin? I need someone to talk to. I want to have a cup of tea with you. And go fishing."

Now, as I am in the middle of cleaning out my closet and doing 19 years of work in 36 minues, I am in nooooooooooo mood to stop what Im doing to go make that man a cup of tea or go fishing. But I do it. I do it because I feel I have a duty to reach out to those in need even when I dont feel like it. And God has a special love for the widows (and widowers) and the orphans.

But he really has no friends or anyone. I can tell him over and over not to call me 36 times a day but he just doesnt get it.

<---picks up and moves at 3am

mujernoble September 4 2007, 16:06:21 UTC

I understand what you're saying but if you don't set a limit or boundaries then he won't stop. Sometimes you have to put your food down... widow or not.

Do you want me to talk to him??? Please ... Please...lol

bpthought September 4 2007, 16:35:55 UTC

Yeah. It's kinda complicated. He's um kindasuicidal. :x

He talks about taking out his guns and killing himself (because, since his Dear Late Wife Kathy died, "there's no reason for living.") Im not sure how much of it is grief & how much is him.

He drinks non-stop, he's on all these anti-depressants & he has one "illness" after another. If he were stable, I could be more blunt with him. (But if he were more stable, he also wouldnt be calling me 93 times a day.) lol

It's just more complicated psychiatrically than I probably could convey here. With people who are um--- *looks around* ----crazy, you just cant be rollin all up on them telling them stuff they dont want to hear, you know? lol

<---pulls blinds and rolls across florr to living room

mujernoble September 4 2007, 16:43:41 UTC

Aahhh... I see.. it's deeper than him just annoying you. Ok, he sounds like the people that come in this library everyday.

bpthought September 4 2007, 16:51:07 UTC

Yeah...he's kinda *special.* He's a functioning, successful computer guy who makes alot of money and semi-runs his homelife, but there's some stuff there....with the drinking, psych medications, prescription drugs, chain smoking.... I cant just be rushing all up on him talking about "get away from me." lol I gotta be sweet to stay alive.

(Im convinced he's all in God's plan to help me with 'The Tone' & to give me some patience and compassion and to do things when I dont want to do them --which is usually.) lol

mujernoble September 4 2007, 16:54:04 UTC

I love the way God works...

... well, after the fact...

LOL

bpthought September 4 2007, 16:58:35 UTC

Doesnt Our God do awesome works? Im helping Eric, but Eric is helping me in ways he doesnt even know. Every time I dont kill him, chop him up, and put him through the wood chipper for calling me 44 times a minute, Im growing in my faith! See that! amaaaaaaaaazing

mujernoble September 4 2007, 22:35:42 UTC

LOL... Yes God is definitely tha bomb and you are HILARIOUS! I can't say that enough.

bpthought September 5 2007, 10:44:22 UTC

lmbo. you crack me up.

mecharlee September 5 2007, 00:09:36 UTC

You have that at your library, too? When I worked at our downtown branch it was a common thread to have people like that come through. I thought it was only here. I was a little upset when they put the "body odor rule" in affect, though.

(Sorry, Beeth....I interrupted your topic)

mujernoble September 5 2007, 14:05:18 UTC

They have a body odor rule?? LOL That is HILARIOUS!! LOL

I will never work in a downtown library again after working here.

mecharlee September 6 2007, 23:04:02 UTC

Girl, YES!!! When I was away for school, I found out when I was home for one of my breaks that they were going to implement that stupid rule. I was upset. Now, some of the homeless/strange folks DO have some issues with their hygiene, but that is no reason to say they can't come in to get warm or stay cool. That's just rude. I'd rather have a smelly homeless person who kept to him- or her-self over some clean pervert stalking the female students in the stacks, but everyone has their priorities.

mujernoble September 6 2007, 23:05:57 UTC

Wait... was this a public library or was this a University library because if it was a University Library I can understand but being that I work in a Public library we can't have rules like that.

mecharlee September 7 2007, 03:15:28 UTC

Yeah, it's public. It's in a part of our downtown where you'll find a lot of the homeless/drifters hanging around.

mujernoble September 7 2007, 13:22:03 UTC

DANG! I work in a downtown library and we can't make rules like that... I wish we could sometimes... I get so excited when people that actually smell good come in...lol. I am like "OH YOU SMELL GOOD! It makes them uncomfortable sometimes...lol

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