Annnnnnnnd another one
astoria_potter is a bad influence.
Oh yeah, and this one is rated R.
Peeta has just wandered in the living room when Katniss practically spits what she’s eating at the television.
He looks down at himself, trying to figure out if he triggered this reaction, when he sees that her eyes are still glued to the screen.
He watches in confusion for several seconds, not seeing what made her look like she swallowed a lemon. It’s just another televised conference at the Capitol. Johanna’s with Gale, as per usual (she had just followed him there one day and no one was brave enough to tell her to leave - after a while they just started putting a place out for her), looking bored, with a slightly glazed expression on her face. Gale’s tapping a pen on the table with one hand, and the other hand-
Oh.
Perhaps they neglected to realize that there was nothing obstructing the view under the table.
**
Annie laughs but turns off the television as soon as her son wanders in the room. Some things are not for little eyes.
She does do a fist pump for Johanna on Finnick’s behalf, however.
**
Haymitch snores lightly on his couch. The latest shipment of wine had just come in. It was a good day.
**
“So, what have we learned?”
Gale at least has the decency to look shamed. Johanna flicks a piece of lint off her skirt and gives Plutarch a shit-eating grin.
“That public sex is the best sex because you don’t have to set up the camera yourself?”
Gale turns beet red. Johanna looks satisfied. Plutarch just prays.
**
Hazelle waits a whole hour before she calls her son.
“So I saw something interesting on my television tonight…”
“Oh, god, Mom, I am so not ready to have this conversation.”
“Please, honey. I know you two have a sex life. Those beautiful children of yours didn’t come out of thin air. Speaking of which, when am I going to get to see my grandbabies again?”
They chat for a while, Hazelle keeping the tone purposely light. Just when she can hear Gale’s voice relax, she goes in for the kill.
“Well, I have to go, dear. Oh, and Gale? Next time, keep those activities confined to the bedroom.”
She listens long enough to hear the strangled noise he makes before she hangs up the phone, laughing.
**
Gale throws himself into their bed, his hands over his face. “Oh my god. I have never been so mortified in my life.”
Johanna doesn’t look up from her book. “Not true. There was that time Paylor caught us in her room and you were-” She makes a descriptive gesture. “I thought you were going to swallow your tongue.”
“Why do you insist on bringing up painful memories?”
“I don’t know. Why do you insist on being such a hot piece of ass?”
It’s a prime example of Johanna logic, but it successfully distracts him. She’s giving him the bedroom eyes over the edge of her book, and he’ll be damned if he’s going to waste them.
Maybe it’s time they had another kid. He’s hoping for another girl.
EDIT: I added another one. *facepalm* This was inspired by an awesome convo with astoria_potter on Twitter. This one is rated PG-13
Gale has resigned himself to the fact that his family is more than slightly ridiculous.
He had expected no less when Rose’s first word was a happily chirped “Ass!” while Ivy chewed on a man-doll’s head. Things went downhill after that.
And he loves his children. All eight of them.
Sometimes, however, they go a bit over the top.
Like this morning, for instance.
He’s sipping his coffee when a figure darts into the hall. He catches a glimpse of golden hair as the girl clutches a sheet to cover herself. Pine perks up next to him and leans forward to watch her leave.
He gives a low whistle as the sheet gets caught up in her ankles and she goes tumbling toward the ground. “Wow. That was at least an eight.”
Gale looks at his son sideways. He’s not sure if he wants to know.
He’s spared from asking when Cedar comes strolling in the room, plucking an apple from the basket in the middle of the counter with an altogether too-pleased look on his face.
Holly is right on his heels, watching with a rather impressed expression as the girl makes a squeaking noise and hurtles toward the door before turning to Cedar. “Was that what you ditched us for last night?”
Cedar hops up on the counter and grins. Holly laughs.
“Oh, man, whore five!”
Gale squeezes his eyes shut. When he opens them, his children have not vanished. Shit.
“Please tell me you aren’t talking about what you think I’m talking about,” he says in a pained voice.
Holly rolls her eyes at him. “Dad. You just saw a half-naked girl flee in shame from our home. Yes, we are talking about what you think we are.”
Gale lets out what is definitely not a whimper as Pine nods. “And man, what a flee that was. It’s not just any girl who goes for the sheet run out the front door. You should consider a second go, Bro. It might be love. Or,” he considers. “At least give me her number.”
Spruce wanders in the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. “So what was the final score?”
Holly looks contemplative. “I would have given her a seven, but then she tripped. The squeal is worth at least a half point, too.”
“Eight point five then?” Pine asks.
“She was a nine point five in the bedroom,” Cedar says smugly. Holly gives him another high five and Gale buries his head in his hands.
He feels a hand on his shoulder and finds his wife standing behind him. He can tell by the amused expression on her face that she’s heard everything.
“I blame you,” he mutters.
“Well,” Johanna purrs, “I guess I should make it up to you then, shouldn’t I?”
He’s out of the kitchen and tugging her up the stairs in a second flat. He focuses on Johanna laughing behind him and decidedly does NOT hear Cedar’s voice calling from the kitchen “Way to go, Dad! That’s a ten for sure!”
Oh yeah, and this one is rated R.
Peeta has just wandered in the living room when Katniss practically spits what she’s eating at the television.
He looks down at himself, trying to figure out if he triggered this reaction, when he sees that her eyes are still glued to the screen.
He watches in confusion for several seconds, not seeing what made her look like she swallowed a lemon. It’s just another televised conference at the Capitol. Johanna’s with Gale, as per usual (she had just followed him there one day and no one was brave enough to tell her to leave - after a while they just started putting a place out for her), looking bored, with a slightly glazed expression on her face. Gale’s tapping a pen on the table with one hand, and the other hand-
Oh.
Perhaps they neglected to realize that there was nothing obstructing the view under the table.
**
Annie laughs but turns off the television as soon as her son wanders in the room. Some things are not for little eyes.
She does do a fist pump for Johanna on Finnick’s behalf, however.
**
Haymitch snores lightly on his couch. The latest shipment of wine had just come in. It was a good day.
**
“So, what have we learned?”
Gale at least has the decency to look shamed. Johanna flicks a piece of lint off her skirt and gives Plutarch a shit-eating grin.
“That public sex is the best sex because you don’t have to set up the camera yourself?”
Gale turns beet red. Johanna looks satisfied. Plutarch just prays.
**
Hazelle waits a whole hour before she calls her son.
“So I saw something interesting on my television tonight…”
“Oh, god, Mom, I am so not ready to have this conversation.”
“Please, honey. I know you two have a sex life. Those beautiful children of yours didn’t come out of thin air. Speaking of which, when am I going to get to see my grandbabies again?”
They chat for a while, Hazelle keeping the tone purposely light. Just when she can hear Gale’s voice relax, she goes in for the kill.
“Well, I have to go, dear. Oh, and Gale? Next time, keep those activities confined to the bedroom.”
She listens long enough to hear the strangled noise he makes before she hangs up the phone, laughing.
**
Gale throws himself into their bed, his hands over his face. “Oh my god. I have never been so mortified in my life.”
Johanna doesn’t look up from her book. “Not true. There was that time Paylor caught us in her room and you were-” She makes a descriptive gesture. “I thought you were going to swallow your tongue.”
“Why do you insist on bringing up painful memories?”
“I don’t know. Why do you insist on being such a hot piece of ass?”
It’s a prime example of Johanna logic, but it successfully distracts him. She’s giving him the bedroom eyes over the edge of her book, and he’ll be damned if he’s going to waste them.
Maybe it’s time they had another kid. He’s hoping for another girl.
EDIT: I added another one. *facepalm* This was inspired by an awesome convo with astoria_potter on Twitter. This one is rated PG-13
Gale has resigned himself to the fact that his family is more than slightly ridiculous.
He had expected no less when Rose’s first word was a happily chirped “Ass!” while Ivy chewed on a man-doll’s head. Things went downhill after that.
And he loves his children. All eight of them.
Sometimes, however, they go a bit over the top.
Like this morning, for instance.
He’s sipping his coffee when a figure darts into the hall. He catches a glimpse of golden hair as the girl clutches a sheet to cover herself. Pine perks up next to him and leans forward to watch her leave.
He gives a low whistle as the sheet gets caught up in her ankles and she goes tumbling toward the ground. “Wow. That was at least an eight.”
Gale looks at his son sideways. He’s not sure if he wants to know.
He’s spared from asking when Cedar comes strolling in the room, plucking an apple from the basket in the middle of the counter with an altogether too-pleased look on his face.
Holly is right on his heels, watching with a rather impressed expression as the girl makes a squeaking noise and hurtles toward the door before turning to Cedar. “Was that what you ditched us for last night?”
Cedar hops up on the counter and grins. Holly laughs.
“Oh, man, whore five!”
Gale squeezes his eyes shut. When he opens them, his children have not vanished. Shit.
“Please tell me you aren’t talking about what you think I’m talking about,” he says in a pained voice.
Holly rolls her eyes at him. “Dad. You just saw a half-naked girl flee in shame from our home. Yes, we are talking about what you think we are.”
Gale lets out what is definitely not a whimper as Pine nods. “And man, what a flee that was. It’s not just any girl who goes for the sheet run out the front door. You should consider a second go, Bro. It might be love. Or,” he considers. “At least give me her number.”
Spruce wanders in the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. “So what was the final score?”
Holly looks contemplative. “I would have given her a seven, but then she tripped. The squeal is worth at least a half point, too.”
“Eight point five then?” Pine asks.
“She was a nine point five in the bedroom,” Cedar says smugly. Holly gives him another high five and Gale buries his head in his hands.
He feels a hand on his shoulder and finds his wife standing behind him. He can tell by the amused expression on her face that she’s heard everything.
“I blame you,” he mutters.
“Well,” Johanna purrs, “I guess I should make it up to you then, shouldn’t I?”
He’s out of the kitchen and tugging her up the stairs in a second flat. He focuses on Johanna laughing behind him and decidedly does NOT hear Cedar’s voice calling from the kitchen “Way to go, Dad! That’s a ten for sure!”