tell me something
Jesus H. Christ
Christianity, Inc. Headquarters
3 Heavenly Avenue
New York City, NY 18982
March 3, 2005
Mr. George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500
Dear Mr. Bush,
It has recently come to my attention that you are an idiot. Not only that, but also of the idiotic acts you perform as the president of the United States of America and how they are carried out by you as you pretend to be “Christian”. Mr. Bush, a couple of millennia ago I wrote a book along with my Father, a bestseller in fact, that clearly outlines the principles and values that I, Jesus H. Christ, as the founder of Christianity, set forth from then on until the end of times. Perhaps this book escaped your attention, but I am here to correct that fact and make you acquainted with my work. I will particularly emphasize my own actions on your planet, which can be found in the second episode of the book, a collection called The New Testament.
You recently waged an all-out war against the country of Iraq that accounted for the death of thousands of God’s children, and for the pain and suffering of hundreds of thousands to this very date due to the effect of this enterprise. In The New Testament, I clearly explained to my Christian brethren that to kill another of God’s children is a sin. Even if these children happen to be your enemies. In fact, I clearly stated that a good Christian will love and embrace his enemies. If I inadvertently advocate war and the use of weapons of destruction against civilian-filled cities somewhere in the Bible, please let me know the exact part of the book where I did such a thing, send me references and I will pat you on the back.
Secondly, you backed the proposition of a constitutional amendment that would ban gay marriage, stating that these people are “immoral”. Mr. Bush, in the publication I co-wrote I made clear that God is love. He is affection, understanding, sympathy, mercy, patience and friendship personified. I am baffled by your interpretation that God stands only for heterosexual love. God stands for any kind of love. Again, I missed the reference in the Bible where I bash on homosexuals and call for them to be treated as second class humans. Also, I pointed out several times that only I, as the Savior of the human race, and my Father, God, can judge people. Thus, by calling homosexuals immoral you are putting yourself in a position that is well above you.
Thirdly, by continually supporting bills in Congress that aim for the destruction and pollution of natural resources you are offending my Father, who is responsible for the environment you are destroying. In this publication of mine, (the book of Genesis,) God clearly explains that he is the creator of all fauna and flora. You have no right to destroy it, even less from profit said destruction.
Also, I have been made aware that you have worked tirelessly to make sure that social programs Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, countless education programs, welfare programs and others are abolished or under-funded. Mr. Bush, this is perhaps the point where you and I disagree the most, and where I think you would learn the most from reading my publication, the Holy Bible. In it, I promote values like cooperation, helping out those less fortunate and providing for your fellow human beings. Clearly you can see that by working against social programs, you are doing the complete opposite. I mentioned, if I recall correctly, in one of my parables, that if a fellow children of God was to ask for a coat, you should give him two coats, if he asks for a plate of food, give him two… and so on and so forth. In fact, I explained that how you treat the lowest of the lowest humans is how you are treating Me, Jesus H. Christ, because every member of the human species is a representative of me. By cutting these programs, you are personally afflicting Me, Mr. Bush.
I am also at odds with you because you have given the richest 1% in the United States a tax cut. In the New Testament I comment on a rich man that once approached me asking how he could get into heaven. I responded that it can only be done when you are not rich, after which I proceeded to explain in a clever analogy involving a camel that it is impossible for someone to be rich to enter my Kingdom. Thus, by rewarding wealth with your tax cuts, Mr. Bush, you are encouraging people to become rich and thus decreasing the size of the populace of my kingdom.
Mr. Bush, I am sure that you are not a bad man, and it just so happens that you have never heard of my book. If that is the case, I would love to send you a free, autographed version of it to your residence in Washington, DC. Please reply promptly if you are interested in this offer. I would love to have you read of my works on planet Earth and of my gospel.
Yours truly,
Jesus H. Christ
Your Lord and Savior
Christianity, Inc. Headquarters
3 Heavenly Avenue
New York City, NY 18982
March 3, 2005
Mr. George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500
Dear Mr. Bush,
It has recently come to my attention that you are an idiot. Not only that, but also of the idiotic acts you perform as the president of the United States of America and how they are carried out by you as you pretend to be “Christian”. Mr. Bush, a couple of millennia ago I wrote a book along with my Father, a bestseller in fact, that clearly outlines the principles and values that I, Jesus H. Christ, as the founder of Christianity, set forth from then on until the end of times. Perhaps this book escaped your attention, but I am here to correct that fact and make you acquainted with my work. I will particularly emphasize my own actions on your planet, which can be found in the second episode of the book, a collection called The New Testament.
You recently waged an all-out war against the country of Iraq that accounted for the death of thousands of God’s children, and for the pain and suffering of hundreds of thousands to this very date due to the effect of this enterprise. In The New Testament, I clearly explained to my Christian brethren that to kill another of God’s children is a sin. Even if these children happen to be your enemies. In fact, I clearly stated that a good Christian will love and embrace his enemies. If I inadvertently advocate war and the use of weapons of destruction against civilian-filled cities somewhere in the Bible, please let me know the exact part of the book where I did such a thing, send me references and I will pat you on the back.
Secondly, you backed the proposition of a constitutional amendment that would ban gay marriage, stating that these people are “immoral”. Mr. Bush, in the publication I co-wrote I made clear that God is love. He is affection, understanding, sympathy, mercy, patience and friendship personified. I am baffled by your interpretation that God stands only for heterosexual love. God stands for any kind of love. Again, I missed the reference in the Bible where I bash on homosexuals and call for them to be treated as second class humans. Also, I pointed out several times that only I, as the Savior of the human race, and my Father, God, can judge people. Thus, by calling homosexuals immoral you are putting yourself in a position that is well above you.
Thirdly, by continually supporting bills in Congress that aim for the destruction and pollution of natural resources you are offending my Father, who is responsible for the environment you are destroying. In this publication of mine, (the book of Genesis,) God clearly explains that he is the creator of all fauna and flora. You have no right to destroy it, even less from profit said destruction.
Also, I have been made aware that you have worked tirelessly to make sure that social programs Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, countless education programs, welfare programs and others are abolished or under-funded. Mr. Bush, this is perhaps the point where you and I disagree the most, and where I think you would learn the most from reading my publication, the Holy Bible. In it, I promote values like cooperation, helping out those less fortunate and providing for your fellow human beings. Clearly you can see that by working against social programs, you are doing the complete opposite. I mentioned, if I recall correctly, in one of my parables, that if a fellow children of God was to ask for a coat, you should give him two coats, if he asks for a plate of food, give him two… and so on and so forth. In fact, I explained that how you treat the lowest of the lowest humans is how you are treating Me, Jesus H. Christ, because every member of the human species is a representative of me. By cutting these programs, you are personally afflicting Me, Mr. Bush.
I am also at odds with you because you have given the richest 1% in the United States a tax cut. In the New Testament I comment on a rich man that once approached me asking how he could get into heaven. I responded that it can only be done when you are not rich, after which I proceeded to explain in a clever analogy involving a camel that it is impossible for someone to be rich to enter my Kingdom. Thus, by rewarding wealth with your tax cuts, Mr. Bush, you are encouraging people to become rich and thus decreasing the size of the populace of my kingdom.
Mr. Bush, I am sure that you are not a bad man, and it just so happens that you have never heard of my book. If that is the case, I would love to send you a free, autographed version of it to your residence in Washington, DC. Please reply promptly if you are interested in this offer. I would love to have you read of my works on planet Earth and of my gospel.
Yours truly,
Jesus H. Christ
Your Lord and Savior