something to think about
Steve and Paul are walking to school.
S: You know, I can't believe our school's water has that much lead in it.
P: It's messed up.
S: Where the hell does it come from in the first place?
P: It's an old school, so back whenever people didn't know lead pipes would eventually contaminate the water.
S: What dumb fucks!
P: They're not dumb.
S: Yeah... they are.
P: They just didn't know better.
S: I guess.
They walk in silence for 3/4 of a block.
P: You know how Mike Lander broke his nose at my place last night?
S: Yeah. What about it?
P: Well, my mom found some blood I forgot to clean up on top of one of the cabinets and she freaked out.
S: Shit. What did you do?
P: I told her I cut my finger cutting up carrots.
S: Cutting up carrots? The fuck were you thinking?
P: First thing that popped into my head.
S: That means you are gay.
P: What???
S: You heard me.
P: That's ridiculous!
S: Cutting carrots. It was the first thing that popped into your head? You are so gay, dude.
P: Bullshit.
S: I'm telling you, I learned about this in psych class.
P: How does thinking of cutting vegetables make me gay?
S: It's not any vegetable, Steven. It's carrots. Cutting lettuce would have been fine, cutting celery too but carrots are just no good.
P: You don't cut lettuce, you dumbass.
S: You get the point.
P: As a matter of fact I don't. How does thinking of cutting carrots mean I like to take it up the ass?
S: It just does, man! Shit! Look... if I were to tell you that I use conditioner and shampoo in two different bottles... what could you assume about me?
P: That you're gay.
S: Correctomundo. It's the same with thinking of cutting carrots.
P: You're full of shit.
S: I'm telling you, dude. You're wicked gay.
P: Don't make me kick the shit out of your face.
S: Jeeze, man, calm down. I'm just saying. Then you would have to clean the blood of your clothes.
P: I can just wash it.
S: Nope. You need to use a special detergent shit. Blood is biological waste.
P: Really?
S: Not only that, but then you have to wash it again because that detergent is toxic, too.
P: What do you wash THAT with?
S: Water.
P: But it has lead.
S: Damnit... you're right.
A school bus going down the street suddenly speeds up and gets off the road, and mows down both Paul and Steve. The end.
S: You know, I can't believe our school's water has that much lead in it.
P: It's messed up.
S: Where the hell does it come from in the first place?
P: It's an old school, so back whenever people didn't know lead pipes would eventually contaminate the water.
S: What dumb fucks!
P: They're not dumb.
S: Yeah... they are.
P: They just didn't know better.
S: I guess.
They walk in silence for 3/4 of a block.
P: You know how Mike Lander broke his nose at my place last night?
S: Yeah. What about it?
P: Well, my mom found some blood I forgot to clean up on top of one of the cabinets and she freaked out.
S: Shit. What did you do?
P: I told her I cut my finger cutting up carrots.
S: Cutting up carrots? The fuck were you thinking?
P: First thing that popped into my head.
S: That means you are gay.
P: What???
S: You heard me.
P: That's ridiculous!
S: Cutting carrots. It was the first thing that popped into your head? You are so gay, dude.
P: Bullshit.
S: I'm telling you, I learned about this in psych class.
P: How does thinking of cutting vegetables make me gay?
S: It's not any vegetable, Steven. It's carrots. Cutting lettuce would have been fine, cutting celery too but carrots are just no good.
P: You don't cut lettuce, you dumbass.
S: You get the point.
P: As a matter of fact I don't. How does thinking of cutting carrots mean I like to take it up the ass?
S: It just does, man! Shit! Look... if I were to tell you that I use conditioner and shampoo in two different bottles... what could you assume about me?
P: That you're gay.
S: Correctomundo. It's the same with thinking of cutting carrots.
P: You're full of shit.
S: I'm telling you, dude. You're wicked gay.
P: Don't make me kick the shit out of your face.
S: Jeeze, man, calm down. I'm just saying. Then you would have to clean the blood of your clothes.
P: I can just wash it.
S: Nope. You need to use a special detergent shit. Blood is biological waste.
P: Really?
S: Not only that, but then you have to wash it again because that detergent is toxic, too.
P: What do you wash THAT with?
S: Water.
P: But it has lead.
S: Damnit... you're right.
A school bus going down the street suddenly speeds up and gets off the road, and mows down both Paul and Steve. The end.