My dear Alicia (who I'm marrying in less than two months) will already have read this...

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"User called to advise that he has spilled coffee on the base unit of his PC, and the monitor has stopped working ( Read more... )

"user advised that a tofee sweet fell into the printer, the paper fed through the printer taking the tofee sweet with it

the printer smells of burning as the toffe sweet has gone through the printer

user advied they are unable to use the printer as the printer has tofee inside it"

"user advised passbook printer is making a crackling noise and also has a burning smell"

Of course we replace burning kit, although usually we wait for it to go out before sending an engineer.

"PRINTING SCREWING PRINTER"

What a great short description. I imagine the call continues with descriptions of how printing is "fucking the printer right up", that the printer has "had enough" and that they have told the printing to "leave it, it's not worth it".

"User informs his neighbours house was hit by lightening but shot from lines and hit reset of street- including his house.
User informs at the moment- laptop does not swtich on."

What I want to know is how the user knows his neighbour's house was hit. Was he watching the storm?

..except for removing the location to protect the innocent ( Read more... )

"User was sitting on a pc and the straps that hold it in place had come undone and the base unit has collapsed onto the floor. The unit turns on and beeps and then nothing happens ( Read more... )

Today we had an exec call because the executive had lost his wireless cable.

*sigh*

"user called cause monitor has got a scar on it and 2 large bullet holes on it. They are gettting bigger."

What the fuck are they doing in that office? Where is it, Toxteth?