Good news for another - my heart shatters
I got a phone call this evening, three actually. My best friend in the world called me from DC. I have been in love with Brian ever since I have known him in the second grade.
He called to let me know that he is proposing to his girlfriend very soon. He hasn't gotten the ring, and can't wait to have kids with her. This is good news!!! Yeah for him...
He is so excited, that he had to call me three different times to express just how excited he was.
But as this news was being brought to my attention, my heart has basically shut down. It is extremely hard to breathe. My eyes are welling up with tears. And there is not a GOD DAMN thing that I can do about it.
Do you know how hard it is to listen to your best friend so happy, telling him how happy you are for him, yet you just want to scream at the top of your lungs, "YOU CAN'T MARRY HER! YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO LIVE OUT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH ME IN MY ARMS!!"
Brian has been basically been the only thing left of my shattered life as it is that has kept me going. Just believing in my soul that we have been meant to be together has disappeared as well. I don't have anything left in my life.
Please someone just get a shotgun at my head right now and pull the trigger so that I can be in a happier place, I seem to have misplaced mine.
He called to let me know that he is proposing to his girlfriend very soon. He hasn't gotten the ring, and can't wait to have kids with her. This is good news!!! Yeah for him...
He is so excited, that he had to call me three different times to express just how excited he was.
But as this news was being brought to my attention, my heart has basically shut down. It is extremely hard to breathe. My eyes are welling up with tears. And there is not a GOD DAMN thing that I can do about it.
Do you know how hard it is to listen to your best friend so happy, telling him how happy you are for him, yet you just want to scream at the top of your lungs, "YOU CAN'T MARRY HER! YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO LIVE OUT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH ME IN MY ARMS!!"
Brian has been basically been the only thing left of my shattered life as it is that has kept me going. Just believing in my soul that we have been meant to be together has disappeared as well. I don't have anything left in my life.
Please someone just get a shotgun at my head right now and pull the trigger so that I can be in a happier place, I seem to have misplaced mine.