I Have No Idea What Happened!
Title: I Have No Idea What Happened!
Pairings: None
Rating: PG-13 for Penis
Notes: Written for a prompt on shkinkmeme where someone wanted Holmes stalked by a flying penis.
Disclaimer: For shits and giggles.
The London streets were a blur to Sherlock Holmes as he ran with every bit of physical endurance he had. He barely avoided colliding with a lamp post in his haste to flee his pursuer. Holmes could hear the angry buzz behind him as he tried to run even faster.
It was gaining on him. He could feel it nipping at his coat tails. Holmes rounded the corner onto Baker street. The rain from earlier in the evening made the cobble stones slick. His left foot slipped out from under him sending him to the pavement landing with all his weight on his right arm.
The creature took the opportunity to start slamming itself into his head using its considerable mass as a battering ram against his skull. Holmes was able to knock it away with a well placed swat. While the creature flailed about like an injured chicken Holmes took off running again.
In the confusion he was now running in the wrong direction. So it was back through an alley and around another corner to the rear of 221b. Holmes was breathing heavily and clutching a dislocated shoulder when the hideous buzzing returned. He looked back in horror as the creature flew towards him,
Holmes ran into the house through the backdoor slamming it behind him, leaning against it trying to catch his breath. Mrs. Hudson who had been cleaning up, dropped the pan she had been putting away with a loud bang. “Mr. Holmes” was all she got out before the kitchen window was smashed through in an explosion of glass as a two foot long penis with large fly wings burst into the room.
Mrs. Hudson shrieked in absolute terror before promptly fainting. Holmes had grabbed the skillet she had dropped and ducked the flying penis’s attempt to batter him with it’s large hairy scrotum. Holmes gave it a rather solid hit with the pan knocking it to the floor.
The beastly penis was about to take to the air again when the kitchen door burst open and a gunshot rang out. Watson stood in the doorway, his revolver still smoking and pointed at the thing he just shot.
The penis make a small almost pitiful cry before spurting a thick green fluid from the bullet wound and expiring on the floor. Watson put the gun on the counter and looked a the destroyed window, Mrs. Hudson still passed out on one side of the room a large winged and now dead penis on the floor.
“What on Earth” was all Watson could think to say?
“For the love of God Watson! I was… and then there was…it chased me. I can’t think of how or why. I have no idea what happened!”