new look.
Ive gotten better, but you know me, up down up down. I'm becoming stable on my meds. I have gotten over being pissed about taking them but you know what? If I want to get better, the first step is helping yourself. I don't know what I would do with out my amazing family. All they want to do is help, and I push and push them away. I'm stopping that shit really quick. I got incredibly sad when I sat back and thought about the way I treat them sometimes. I honestly don't know that I do it, and katlin, the person who I was so close to has drifted from me. I can't blame her. I am going to start trying really hard to change so she will not end up hating me soon. I feel like its heading that direction. Im tearing up just thinking about it.
ahhhhh. Rebekah is so sweet to me, and I hope I am not mean to her. Sometimes I wish i was that age, things seemed so simple then, but then again i have learned a lot. It's my fault I crashed and became this way, and my family/boyfriend have to feel the wrath. :[
I had dinner wednesday night with my amazing aunt lourie. She inspires me to be a better person, to love God, to love everyone, and to just love with all your heart. I have no problem loving everyone, because chances usually are I love you. There are exceptions of course, but i am letting those go too. I have been struggling with God, and things are beginning to go right and I am so excited for everyday to become better and better. God has made me so damn emotional, and compassionate. It's a gift and a curse. I have a hard time filtering out those who are bad for me, just because I always want to see the good in people. I need to associate myself with positive influences. and break dancers. hahah. jk.
soo anyways im really getting back into music, i mean i have always been in love with it and constantly listening to it, but im not listenin over and over to the same bands. Recently I have fallen in love with Kings of Convenience, Radiohead, and the shins, well always the shins, but not the new stuff.
ok im gonna go take a nap, i was up until four.
happy birthday nana. you silly old fart. you are a little mean, but hey i love you.
ahhhhh. Rebekah is so sweet to me, and I hope I am not mean to her. Sometimes I wish i was that age, things seemed so simple then, but then again i have learned a lot. It's my fault I crashed and became this way, and my family/boyfriend have to feel the wrath. :[
I had dinner wednesday night with my amazing aunt lourie. She inspires me to be a better person, to love God, to love everyone, and to just love with all your heart. I have no problem loving everyone, because chances usually are I love you. There are exceptions of course, but i am letting those go too. I have been struggling with God, and things are beginning to go right and I am so excited for everyday to become better and better. God has made me so damn emotional, and compassionate. It's a gift and a curse. I have a hard time filtering out those who are bad for me, just because I always want to see the good in people. I need to associate myself with positive influences. and break dancers. hahah. jk.
soo anyways im really getting back into music, i mean i have always been in love with it and constantly listening to it, but im not listenin over and over to the same bands. Recently I have fallen in love with Kings of Convenience, Radiohead, and the shins, well always the shins, but not the new stuff.
ok im gonna go take a nap, i was up until four.
happy birthday nana. you silly old fart. you are a little mean, but hey i love you.