FIC: How to Say 'I Love You' (J2, PG-13, 1/1)
Title: How to Say ‘I Love You’
Author: Bow a.k.a. bowie28
Paring: Jensen/Jared
Word count: 2,164
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Half of these are facts, but the sentiment is completely fictional.
Warning: schmoop, list, second person POV
Spoilers: none
Beta: a wonderful tariana ♥♥♥
A/N: Inspired by an article ‘How to Say I Love You’ by Paul Ford. I did this with other fandom a few years ago, and it kind of occurred to me the other night how perfect this would be for J2. Due to my crappy memory, this thing wouldn’t be possible if it weren’t for this post and this post. Feedback and suggestions are very welcome.
Summary: 100 ways to say you love him.
How to Say ‘I Love You’
You didn’t know it was love, but then again love was sneaky like that.
The first time you met him, (1) you thought he was so damn beautiful and perfect it was a little unfair. After the first few days (2) you started believing in stuff like fate and destiny because what were the chances of you two meeting for the first time after all those years working on the same network, and (3) instead of feeling like going on a blind date, you felt like you’d known him forever? Your dogs didn’t just love him, they adored him, and (4) somehow that meant a lot to you even though you knew your dogs loved everyone. (5) You knew you two were very different and yet very similar. He was shy while you were irreverent. His dad was an actor while your momma was a teacher. But you were from the same place, and that place wasn’t Texas. It was the place where you both had been building and were now looking out and seeing the truths in people, in the world. Sometimes he calmed you the fuck down, sometimes you helped him live a little, but at the end of the day, you were always at the same place.
(6) You spent time with him more than you spent with anyone else. (7) You liked drinking with him because beer tasted less bitter with him around. (8) You liked watching movies with him because he didn’t make fun of you when you watched Star Wars for the thousandth time, (9) and for that you sometimes let him watch Discovery Channel in peace. (10) When you felt like it, you dragged him out and made him sneak into the theaters with you. (11) You let him win at Guitar Hero from time to time because he didn’t mock you for sucking ass at golf. (12) You never mentioned how much time he spent in your hotel room after work when he had a perfectly equipped apartment to go back to because having him there made each day a little more bearable.
(13) Your momma always told you how special you were, but you never really believed it until him, because being someone Jensen Ackles could be comfortable with felt like a fucking honor. He let you touch him. He didn’t flinch away when (14) you sat too close and your thigh touched his. He didn’t draw back when (15) you placed your hand on his chest with no apparent reason, and (16) you didn’t draw back when he did the same. He didn’t shove you off when (17) you climbed him in public like a panda on a fucking tree. You knew how hard it was for him to let people in, so (18) your heart grew tight in your chest when he let you call him ‘Jen,’ (19) clung to you when cameras started flashing, (20) shared breath spray with you on red carpet, (21) twizzled you with your Twizzler, (22) fell asleep on your shoulder on the way to work. (23) You felt like a god when something made him nervous and he just took one look at you, and he was relaxed. Sometimes you thought it was all in your head, but then he went and melted you to the ground (24) when he didn’t flinch and just carried on doing his lines because he got so used to your sense of humor; (25) when he sometimes forgot and called Sam ‘Jared’ because he got so used to you; (26) when he started using ‘we’ instead of ‘I’ and ‘he’ because he got so used to us.
You two made a good team because (27) you knew you could count on him. He called you out when you faked a line and (28) you did the same. He stayed with you until you got yourself together after emotional scenes and (29) you did the same. (30) You knew you pulled pranks more successfully when you had him on your side. (31) And you knew no matter how many times you got into stupid bar fights, he would never run off on you.
(32) You were always awed with his acting, never once felt the slightest envy or competition. (33) To you he was amazing and gifted and everything that an actor should be. So when he didn’t think that he was all that, (34) you kind of wanted to smack him in the head, but not before (35) pretending you hadn’t totally cried like a girl while watching him doing his coverage.
(36) You wanted to give him everything that he wanted, but he was not always easy to read so you started buying him gifts. (37) You bought him a PSP because you had one and it was only right that he had one too. (38) You bought him an eight-thousand-dollar watch because you had one and it was a good idea at the time that you two had matching watches. Somehow he agreed because he wore it all the time and started buying you stuff in return. (39) You never felt so loved in your life when he presented you with a pair of XXXL Japanese pajamas.
But in all honesty, he gave you the best gift (40) when he didn’t leave you alone with a hangover on the morning after your birthday but passed out on your couch where (41) you might watch him a little too long; (42) when he told you that you could pull off pink and you just had to hug him right there, in front of screaming fans, with both your arms; (43) when he pulled you in his arms at your first convention because no one else there would hug you; (44) when he was the one knocking on your trailer door and pulled you out and you let him hug you and you forgot why you two had fought in the first place; (45) when he offered to buy you dinner after a long day at work; (46) when he knew how to give you space without making you feel alone.
You thought you should give him something back, something that money couldn’t buy, so (47) you flew out to see his play, (48) to surprise him, (49) to support him, (50) because you knew how nervous he was no matter how many times he said he wasn’t. (51) You ended up leading a standing ovation. His smile was for you and only you, and you knew your mission was accomplished.
You met his dad and (52) called him ‘Papa Ackles’ and offered him some Skittles. They laughed and reminded you (53) how much his family had become your family, (54) how talking on the phone with his mom when he left his cell phone around wasn’t that strange. It wasn’t helping when he sent his family to a convention he couldn’t make so that you felt like he did.
(55) So it was very easy to forget sometimes that he was just a friend, (56) that you weren’t supposed to flirt with him, even in jest; (57) that you weren’t supposed to get so worried over a bump on his head or a cut on his finger; (58) that you weren’t supposed to tell some Scandinavian magazine how much you wanted to make out with him just because you thought no one would read it; (59) that you weren’t supposed to talk about him and how much you loved his movie when you were supposed to be promoting your movie.
(60) This was why it was kind of hard to protest when your co-stars, your friends, your family, your fans, even your girlfriend started telling you how much you loved your best friend. Because they weren’t wrong. You loved your friendship. (61) You let him be who he was. (62) You let him stay grumpy in the morning so you could make him smile. (63) You let him stay shy because seeing Jensen Ackles blush basically made your day. (64) You let him get awkward and self-conscious so you could put your arms around him and assure him that everything would be okay. And he did the same for you, (65) never once made you feel that he needed you to be anything other than a gross, impertinent, sugar-addicted health freak with no personal space who couldn’t dance, couldn’t sing, couldn’t cook and couldn’t dress.
(66) You broke off your engagement even though you didn’t completely agree when your girlfriend of forever told you that you were in love with him, and not her. (67) It was hard for you to look him in the eye for a while, and you were grateful that he didn’t bust you for it.
(68) You sold your house in LA so you could buy a new one here, where he was, and you had a good feeling about it. It took a while, but (69) you managed to convince (trick) him to move in with you. This was when you started noticing things that hadn’t meant much before. (70) You noticed how he sometimes watched you when you walked around shirtless after a workout session, and when you caught him, he started teasing you about how much steroid you must have had been juicing. You noticed how much you loved listening to him (71) talk, (72) sing, (73) laugh (he had the best laugh). (74) You could run Dean-Sam dialogues without him in the room because you heard him in your head. (75) You noticed that he had very soft-looking lips, (76) and his freckles weren’t only on his face and neck, but on his chest, shoulders, arms and back as well. (77) You wanted to hide all the contact lens so he would wear glasses all the time. (78) You found yourself looking at his ass more and more, and you had to admit that it was pretty and quite mesmerizing. (79) You started getting obsessed over the blonde streaks in his freshly washed hair. (80) You wondered how he always smelled nice, even when he sweat. Maybe it was in his genes. (81) You noticed that sometimes when he watched documentaries about stars and nebulas, he would look like a five-year-old, and you had to stop yourself from petting him on the head. (82) You noticed that he could be a grown-up who paid attention to you, to what you said, what you needed, like when you ran out of milk or toilet paper or dog food, or when you ate too much sugar or had too much to drink. (83) It made you kind of jealous of his girlfriend.
It got harder at work. (84) You started seeing his face when you closed your eyes, trying to have a convincing sex scene with Ruby. (85) And when someone flirted with him, on or off screen, it got kind of annoying. (86) But the thing that made you really sick in your stomach was knowing that working with him wasn’t forever, that one day he would be somewhere else, working with someone else, and so would you.
You never told him about it, but somehow he knew. Clif was giving you a ride home, and your hands touched by accident. (87) You didn’t draw back and he didn’t flinch. You looked at him and you just knew that he knew, and (88) it didn’t feel like the end of the world as you’d thought. (89) You started to understand why he’d never asked you about your engagement and why he’d never mentioned a plan to marry.
The kiss was inevitable. He was trying to reach for something in the cupboard and you just wanted to piss him off by helping him. He toppled on you, hands on your arm, your chest, and you had no choice. (90) You kissed him like it was his fault, knowing that it wasn’t, not really, and that he had every reason to punch you in the face. He didn’t. He kissed you back.
(91) You discovered that sex could be more than sex, that it could be an experience, a soul-searching experience, a religious experience. (92) You told him how beautiful he was, (93) how much you loved him, and then (94) you saw it in his eyes, you saw how beautiful you were, (95) how much he loved you. (96) You held on to him, to everything, didn’t want it to ever fade away.
You woke up and (97) you heart almost stopped, because he was right there, real, warm, breathing, so close you could touch him. (98) And you did, you touched him, softly, experimentally, and he smiled, with his eyes closed, like he was having a good dream. (99) And you just knew this was the only thing that made sense, and (100) that you didn’t need Paris or a ring to make this forever.
Fin
Author: Bow a.k.a. bowie28
Paring: Jensen/Jared
Word count: 2,164
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Half of these are facts, but the sentiment is completely fictional.
Warning: schmoop, list, second person POV
Spoilers: none
Beta: a wonderful tariana ♥♥♥
A/N: Inspired by an article ‘How to Say I Love You’ by Paul Ford. I did this with other fandom a few years ago, and it kind of occurred to me the other night how perfect this would be for J2. Due to my crappy memory, this thing wouldn’t be possible if it weren’t for this post and this post. Feedback and suggestions are very welcome.
Summary: 100 ways to say you love him.
How to Say ‘I Love You’
You didn’t know it was love, but then again love was sneaky like that.
The first time you met him, (1) you thought he was so damn beautiful and perfect it was a little unfair. After the first few days (2) you started believing in stuff like fate and destiny because what were the chances of you two meeting for the first time after all those years working on the same network, and (3) instead of feeling like going on a blind date, you felt like you’d known him forever? Your dogs didn’t just love him, they adored him, and (4) somehow that meant a lot to you even though you knew your dogs loved everyone. (5) You knew you two were very different and yet very similar. He was shy while you were irreverent. His dad was an actor while your momma was a teacher. But you were from the same place, and that place wasn’t Texas. It was the place where you both had been building and were now looking out and seeing the truths in people, in the world. Sometimes he calmed you the fuck down, sometimes you helped him live a little, but at the end of the day, you were always at the same place.
(6) You spent time with him more than you spent with anyone else. (7) You liked drinking with him because beer tasted less bitter with him around. (8) You liked watching movies with him because he didn’t make fun of you when you watched Star Wars for the thousandth time, (9) and for that you sometimes let him watch Discovery Channel in peace. (10) When you felt like it, you dragged him out and made him sneak into the theaters with you. (11) You let him win at Guitar Hero from time to time because he didn’t mock you for sucking ass at golf. (12) You never mentioned how much time he spent in your hotel room after work when he had a perfectly equipped apartment to go back to because having him there made each day a little more bearable.
(13) Your momma always told you how special you were, but you never really believed it until him, because being someone Jensen Ackles could be comfortable with felt like a fucking honor. He let you touch him. He didn’t flinch away when (14) you sat too close and your thigh touched his. He didn’t draw back when (15) you placed your hand on his chest with no apparent reason, and (16) you didn’t draw back when he did the same. He didn’t shove you off when (17) you climbed him in public like a panda on a fucking tree. You knew how hard it was for him to let people in, so (18) your heart grew tight in your chest when he let you call him ‘Jen,’ (19) clung to you when cameras started flashing, (20) shared breath spray with you on red carpet, (21) twizzled you with your Twizzler, (22) fell asleep on your shoulder on the way to work. (23) You felt like a god when something made him nervous and he just took one look at you, and he was relaxed. Sometimes you thought it was all in your head, but then he went and melted you to the ground (24) when he didn’t flinch and just carried on doing his lines because he got so used to your sense of humor; (25) when he sometimes forgot and called Sam ‘Jared’ because he got so used to you; (26) when he started using ‘we’ instead of ‘I’ and ‘he’ because he got so used to us.
You two made a good team because (27) you knew you could count on him. He called you out when you faked a line and (28) you did the same. He stayed with you until you got yourself together after emotional scenes and (29) you did the same. (30) You knew you pulled pranks more successfully when you had him on your side. (31) And you knew no matter how many times you got into stupid bar fights, he would never run off on you.
(32) You were always awed with his acting, never once felt the slightest envy or competition. (33) To you he was amazing and gifted and everything that an actor should be. So when he didn’t think that he was all that, (34) you kind of wanted to smack him in the head, but not before (35) pretending you hadn’t totally cried like a girl while watching him doing his coverage.
(36) You wanted to give him everything that he wanted, but he was not always easy to read so you started buying him gifts. (37) You bought him a PSP because you had one and it was only right that he had one too. (38) You bought him an eight-thousand-dollar watch because you had one and it was a good idea at the time that you two had matching watches. Somehow he agreed because he wore it all the time and started buying you stuff in return. (39) You never felt so loved in your life when he presented you with a pair of XXXL Japanese pajamas.
But in all honesty, he gave you the best gift (40) when he didn’t leave you alone with a hangover on the morning after your birthday but passed out on your couch where (41) you might watch him a little too long; (42) when he told you that you could pull off pink and you just had to hug him right there, in front of screaming fans, with both your arms; (43) when he pulled you in his arms at your first convention because no one else there would hug you; (44) when he was the one knocking on your trailer door and pulled you out and you let him hug you and you forgot why you two had fought in the first place; (45) when he offered to buy you dinner after a long day at work; (46) when he knew how to give you space without making you feel alone.
You thought you should give him something back, something that money couldn’t buy, so (47) you flew out to see his play, (48) to surprise him, (49) to support him, (50) because you knew how nervous he was no matter how many times he said he wasn’t. (51) You ended up leading a standing ovation. His smile was for you and only you, and you knew your mission was accomplished.
You met his dad and (52) called him ‘Papa Ackles’ and offered him some Skittles. They laughed and reminded you (53) how much his family had become your family, (54) how talking on the phone with his mom when he left his cell phone around wasn’t that strange. It wasn’t helping when he sent his family to a convention he couldn’t make so that you felt like he did.
(55) So it was very easy to forget sometimes that he was just a friend, (56) that you weren’t supposed to flirt with him, even in jest; (57) that you weren’t supposed to get so worried over a bump on his head or a cut on his finger; (58) that you weren’t supposed to tell some Scandinavian magazine how much you wanted to make out with him just because you thought no one would read it; (59) that you weren’t supposed to talk about him and how much you loved his movie when you were supposed to be promoting your movie.
(60) This was why it was kind of hard to protest when your co-stars, your friends, your family, your fans, even your girlfriend started telling you how much you loved your best friend. Because they weren’t wrong. You loved your friendship. (61) You let him be who he was. (62) You let him stay grumpy in the morning so you could make him smile. (63) You let him stay shy because seeing Jensen Ackles blush basically made your day. (64) You let him get awkward and self-conscious so you could put your arms around him and assure him that everything would be okay. And he did the same for you, (65) never once made you feel that he needed you to be anything other than a gross, impertinent, sugar-addicted health freak with no personal space who couldn’t dance, couldn’t sing, couldn’t cook and couldn’t dress.
(66) You broke off your engagement even though you didn’t completely agree when your girlfriend of forever told you that you were in love with him, and not her. (67) It was hard for you to look him in the eye for a while, and you were grateful that he didn’t bust you for it.
(68) You sold your house in LA so you could buy a new one here, where he was, and you had a good feeling about it. It took a while, but (69) you managed to convince (trick) him to move in with you. This was when you started noticing things that hadn’t meant much before. (70) You noticed how he sometimes watched you when you walked around shirtless after a workout session, and when you caught him, he started teasing you about how much steroid you must have had been juicing. You noticed how much you loved listening to him (71) talk, (72) sing, (73) laugh (he had the best laugh). (74) You could run Dean-Sam dialogues without him in the room because you heard him in your head. (75) You noticed that he had very soft-looking lips, (76) and his freckles weren’t only on his face and neck, but on his chest, shoulders, arms and back as well. (77) You wanted to hide all the contact lens so he would wear glasses all the time. (78) You found yourself looking at his ass more and more, and you had to admit that it was pretty and quite mesmerizing. (79) You started getting obsessed over the blonde streaks in his freshly washed hair. (80) You wondered how he always smelled nice, even when he sweat. Maybe it was in his genes. (81) You noticed that sometimes when he watched documentaries about stars and nebulas, he would look like a five-year-old, and you had to stop yourself from petting him on the head. (82) You noticed that he could be a grown-up who paid attention to you, to what you said, what you needed, like when you ran out of milk or toilet paper or dog food, or when you ate too much sugar or had too much to drink. (83) It made you kind of jealous of his girlfriend.
It got harder at work. (84) You started seeing his face when you closed your eyes, trying to have a convincing sex scene with Ruby. (85) And when someone flirted with him, on or off screen, it got kind of annoying. (86) But the thing that made you really sick in your stomach was knowing that working with him wasn’t forever, that one day he would be somewhere else, working with someone else, and so would you.
You never told him about it, but somehow he knew. Clif was giving you a ride home, and your hands touched by accident. (87) You didn’t draw back and he didn’t flinch. You looked at him and you just knew that he knew, and (88) it didn’t feel like the end of the world as you’d thought. (89) You started to understand why he’d never asked you about your engagement and why he’d never mentioned a plan to marry.
The kiss was inevitable. He was trying to reach for something in the cupboard and you just wanted to piss him off by helping him. He toppled on you, hands on your arm, your chest, and you had no choice. (90) You kissed him like it was his fault, knowing that it wasn’t, not really, and that he had every reason to punch you in the face. He didn’t. He kissed you back.
(91) You discovered that sex could be more than sex, that it could be an experience, a soul-searching experience, a religious experience. (92) You told him how beautiful he was, (93) how much you loved him, and then (94) you saw it in his eyes, you saw how beautiful you were, (95) how much he loved you. (96) You held on to him, to everything, didn’t want it to ever fade away.
You woke up and (97) you heart almost stopped, because he was right there, real, warm, breathing, so close you could touch him. (98) And you did, you touched him, softly, experimentally, and he smiled, with his eyes closed, like he was having a good dream. (99) And you just knew this was the only thing that made sense, and (100) that you didn’t need Paris or a ring to make this forever.
Fin