Aha moment for the day - thank you shower
We will never be a color blind society. The very concept of color - blindness is a misnomer; humans are designed to segregate themselves into smaller groups. If there is no one of a different color, the segregation happens by wealth, hair color, athletic ability, intelligence, willingness to take risks, and a whole host of other things even so far as down to eye color. Asking our kids to not recognize skin color difference is really just telling them that mommy and daddy don't know how to deal with the difference which means junior looks to other sources for how to react to this difference. (TV, Media, Internet Groups.)
What we need to be striving for is more complicated - we need to be a society in which we see color as a potential cultural indicator on par with hair color - a very weak generalization at best.
To do this we need more diversity in our media - it really does matter to see different types of faces succeeding, especially for children. We need to get rid of the various history months (nice idea and a step in the right direction, but not right) and instead re-write our textbooks to call out the accomplishments of a wider range of people throughout the entire year. Why should February be the time to learn about George Carver? Doesn't it make more sense to teach about him at the same time we are teaching about that time period instead? Pulling him out and talking about him only in february only highlights differences, instead of acknowledging the skin color difference but minimizing it by placing the emphasis on geography, chronology, or even policy - the way we currently treat white people. This isn't just for the black kids either - white kids need the year long reinforcement that anyone of any skin color can succeed as well. They watch the same media. It isn't as urgent for them, but it is still incredibly important. How can we ask them to believe that people of all skin colors succeed if we refuse to show them examples? The words become empty and are replaced with media's interpretation. (Which is often subtle, and that's worse than overt. For example, take 2 1/2 men. Charlie is a womanizer who always gets the hot women and then leaves them. How many black or hispanic women has he brought home? Being treated like a sex object is certainly nothing to aspire to, but the message of what beauty is still sticks, especially to any kids watching.)
The black community also needs to take responsibility for shaping their culture to better value the things that allow global success. Hard work, education, and the ability to communicate and integrate into a variety of social situations all equal success regardless of if you are in Atlanta, Beijing, or London. As long as people play the victim the cycle continues. (Just look at tool academy. Those horrible partners are only able to be horrible because of the enabling behaviors.) Note I have no idea how to really do this. I can't imagine trying to raise a child knowing that the larger culture is encouraging misbehavior. I think one step is a larger societal goal of putting at least one parent back in the home full time (that helps every family, regardless of color) and I also think it comes down to black parents having to be better parents than white ones do right now. It sucks. But treating it like there is no work to be done for the black communities is the same as saying white people don't need to do anything - they are both wrong.
Note that we don't need one half to do their part in order to do the other part. They make each other far, far easier and they both need done, but they can be started and even accomplished independently.
And we need to talk about this stuff. Screaming "you are racist!" at someone just because they disagree will never fix anything. Neither will statements like "you'll never understand because you aren't black/red/yellow/orange with polka dots." The fact that we can't walk in each others shoes for real is a given - no one really understands what another person feels or has been through. Using that as an arguing technique is counter-productive. (And I do it as well, so I'm lecturing myself too.)
Also, the people who are saying the race jokes are inappropriate are absolutely right. Joking about something reinforces the belief. (It was even in my psychology today magazine.) The jokes are a symptom of how a culture is perceived though. The true way to stop the jokes is to change the cultural stereotype. But in the meantime, protesting them whenever you are around them is a good start.
What we need to be striving for is more complicated - we need to be a society in which we see color as a potential cultural indicator on par with hair color - a very weak generalization at best.
To do this we need more diversity in our media - it really does matter to see different types of faces succeeding, especially for children. We need to get rid of the various history months (nice idea and a step in the right direction, but not right) and instead re-write our textbooks to call out the accomplishments of a wider range of people throughout the entire year. Why should February be the time to learn about George Carver? Doesn't it make more sense to teach about him at the same time we are teaching about that time period instead? Pulling him out and talking about him only in february only highlights differences, instead of acknowledging the skin color difference but minimizing it by placing the emphasis on geography, chronology, or even policy - the way we currently treat white people. This isn't just for the black kids either - white kids need the year long reinforcement that anyone of any skin color can succeed as well. They watch the same media. It isn't as urgent for them, but it is still incredibly important. How can we ask them to believe that people of all skin colors succeed if we refuse to show them examples? The words become empty and are replaced with media's interpretation. (Which is often subtle, and that's worse than overt. For example, take 2 1/2 men. Charlie is a womanizer who always gets the hot women and then leaves them. How many black or hispanic women has he brought home? Being treated like a sex object is certainly nothing to aspire to, but the message of what beauty is still sticks, especially to any kids watching.)
The black community also needs to take responsibility for shaping their culture to better value the things that allow global success. Hard work, education, and the ability to communicate and integrate into a variety of social situations all equal success regardless of if you are in Atlanta, Beijing, or London. As long as people play the victim the cycle continues. (Just look at tool academy. Those horrible partners are only able to be horrible because of the enabling behaviors.) Note I have no idea how to really do this. I can't imagine trying to raise a child knowing that the larger culture is encouraging misbehavior. I think one step is a larger societal goal of putting at least one parent back in the home full time (that helps every family, regardless of color) and I also think it comes down to black parents having to be better parents than white ones do right now. It sucks. But treating it like there is no work to be done for the black communities is the same as saying white people don't need to do anything - they are both wrong.
Note that we don't need one half to do their part in order to do the other part. They make each other far, far easier and they both need done, but they can be started and even accomplished independently.
And we need to talk about this stuff. Screaming "you are racist!" at someone just because they disagree will never fix anything. Neither will statements like "you'll never understand because you aren't black/red/yellow/orange with polka dots." The fact that we can't walk in each others shoes for real is a given - no one really understands what another person feels or has been through. Using that as an arguing technique is counter-productive. (And I do it as well, so I'm lecturing myself too.)
Also, the people who are saying the race jokes are inappropriate are absolutely right. Joking about something reinforces the belief. (It was even in my psychology today magazine.) The jokes are a symptom of how a culture is perceived though. The true way to stop the jokes is to change the cultural stereotype. But in the meantime, protesting them whenever you are around them is a good start.