There is a hole in my bucket dear Liza dear Liza....
I have a well inside of me.
I have a bottomless well inside of me.
I have a bottomless well of despair inside of me...
Or so I thought.
My well is filled with what I fill it with. If I fill it with despair, this bottomless well overflows with it. But I just realized I could choose to fill it with other things. I can fill it with joy. I can fill it with love. Hope. Dance. Music. Cats. Warm baths. This bottomless well, it’s..well….me.
There is some despair. And sadness. And loss. That’s normal. You can’t have a one sided coin. But I can stop using those as the mortar on the bricks of my well. I can let it flow out in its time and fill it back up with other more cheerful things. And cheese. If I want cheese in my well, I can have it.
But mostly what I want in my well - is me. That's why this next 42 days is important to me. Why I need to give myself that time, to do the things I love that make me - well me. To fill my well with those things, because in their absence, in my absence...it is despair that fills it.
I have a bottomless well inside of me.
I have a bottomless well of despair inside of me...
Or so I thought.
My well is filled with what I fill it with. If I fill it with despair, this bottomless well overflows with it. But I just realized I could choose to fill it with other things. I can fill it with joy. I can fill it with love. Hope. Dance. Music. Cats. Warm baths. This bottomless well, it’s..well….me.
There is some despair. And sadness. And loss. That’s normal. You can’t have a one sided coin. But I can stop using those as the mortar on the bricks of my well. I can let it flow out in its time and fill it back up with other more cheerful things. And cheese. If I want cheese in my well, I can have it.
But mostly what I want in my well - is me. That's why this next 42 days is important to me. Why I need to give myself that time, to do the things I love that make me - well me. To fill my well with those things, because in their absence, in my absence...it is despair that fills it.