What's For Dinner Freak

[boubois]

tHIS WOMAN TODAY....HANG ON JUST BANGED CAPS LOCK, THERE, NO WAIT, there we go. This woman, actually she was kind of old so let's call her Dinosaur. So Dinosaur was walking towards me along a path in Mt Claremont, and while we're talking about there being a mountain in Claremont i may as well state that if it is a mountain then Mike lives at the top of fucking everest. It ain't no god damn mountain. But, back to Dinosaur. I was walking at a pretty mad pace towards her with my trusty wooden stick (this stick is like a metre long and an inch and a half wide) bobbing at my side and a determined look on my face. She seemed a bit startled as she passed me and commented that i looked like i was gonna punish everyone. What i did next, you know, i'm not proud of, but, i just snapped, ok. I grabbed the dinosaurs right arm and twisted it behind her back. I had her in quite a tight grip, my chest was pushed against her back. I put my other hand around her mouth to make sure she didn't snort and at the same time pushed her head around and back so that her ear was almost touching my mouth. I then said in a low hiss that escaped through the gap of my clenched teeth, "Oh you will all be punished, oh yesssss...... I am THE PUNISHER!!!!" It was at this stage that a car pulled up beside us, putting an end to the dinosaurs brief education of what is what. I fled into the bushes on the other side of the road. Squatting (like a woman giving birth) behind a small black boy i watched the dinosaur be consoled by the man in the car and other excited witnesses. Here i stayed until it became dark, keeping my energy levels high by feasting on cockroaches and small birds.

This is a true account of what happened this arvo. To believe it or not does not matter.