the relation

[bottle333]

Sometimes i focus so much on the prize. I focus so much on what i get for doing whats right i began to loose site of the real reason i started this thing called faith. It was subtle, that desire to know...to understand something that was bigger than me and bigger than my world. Something i was a part of which is the driveing force of all life. That relationship was my cause and my point of refrence for all things period. But time changes things and instead of the relationship i start to look for approval and acceptance and earnings for my good in life. I began to focus on what i get from not being bad. I focus on what i need to be for others to help them to be better. I keep looking past the first thing that drew me to the God i follow. I wanted to understand him. I wanted to know him more. Not so i could get more things or reach some goal for his approval. I just wanted to know him. And then like a mighty gust of fire i suddenly started acting like i knew God. I had my one night stand and now i know all there is to him. Or at least thats what my actions say. That what my prayers say. Thats what my quiet time says. Instead of tring to understand God all i care about is understanding how i get his approval. Not seeing that if i just follow after understanding my relationship with God...the approval will follow. When i understand my relationship with God ill understand how i can better please and serve him. I cant remember when i stoped caring about a relationship and started caring more about an approval rating. But im beggining to see that its all about the relation not the congratulation.
oh and i went to church (church of the highland) today....they taught on the tithe..go figure...