Homesick for Anywhere but Home.
So I've been meaning to update this all the time. Seriously, no joke. All I think about in the shower daily (which is where I do my finest thinking) is that I must document how I feel more. Not just when I'm piss miserable or happy happy, but really, when I'm just me. But of course, more of the same. I slack. I drink. I get too busy with work.
But whatever, here now. So I guess I should fill you in on this latest relationship. There's something so warming about him. Even if it is just a blossoming beautiful friendship. Maybe cause I'm scared of love. Whatever it is...it's lovely. He's lovely. Guess I'll leave it at that.
But like any good rant I have, I guess I dwell on the silly things too much. But, I just, I want to be beautiful again. Again? Fuck it...I guess what I truly want is my face held in someone's hands, and told "you're beautiful"....and they mean it. Is that so hard? Really? Why am I such a sappy bitch? Again, whatever.
I'm so homesick for countries I can run to. Explore. Try to make my own when they're really not my own at all. But they're new. Different. What I'm longing to be day in, day out. God, I miss anywhere but here.
In the meantime, yesterday was simply a beautiful day. It was one of those love reels that I will keep in my mind and pull out whenever things get grim or foggy. We went bowling, in Williamsburg Bkln. In a lovely little old school bowling alley, that felt like a log cabin in Vermont more than the city. And we drank cider. Bowled. Giggled. And then it ended. And with our arms draped around each other...we headed out into the street where a snow had fallen that was so beautiful and light that it can't help but remind you of being a child. Never forget.
I'm getting better. I assure you.
Until then...
But whatever, here now. So I guess I should fill you in on this latest relationship. There's something so warming about him. Even if it is just a blossoming beautiful friendship. Maybe cause I'm scared of love. Whatever it is...it's lovely. He's lovely. Guess I'll leave it at that.
But like any good rant I have, I guess I dwell on the silly things too much. But, I just, I want to be beautiful again. Again? Fuck it...I guess what I truly want is my face held in someone's hands, and told "you're beautiful"....and they mean it. Is that so hard? Really? Why am I such a sappy bitch? Again, whatever.
I'm so homesick for countries I can run to. Explore. Try to make my own when they're really not my own at all. But they're new. Different. What I'm longing to be day in, day out. God, I miss anywhere but here.
In the meantime, yesterday was simply a beautiful day. It was one of those love reels that I will keep in my mind and pull out whenever things get grim or foggy. We went bowling, in Williamsburg Bkln. In a lovely little old school bowling alley, that felt like a log cabin in Vermont more than the city. And we drank cider. Bowled. Giggled. And then it ended. And with our arms draped around each other...we headed out into the street where a snow had fallen that was so beautiful and light that it can't help but remind you of being a child. Never forget.
I'm getting better. I assure you.
Until then...